Mario Kart

195 5 23
                                    

requested by TangIsATangerine

CW // peter being a cringefail loserboy who's anxious this entire chapter

I don't have a switch, but I once managed to play mario kart once with three other people. But, like, 3 years ago. So the controls are written/explained by memory.

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"I found the Switch!" Dee cheered as she held up a black box. Jack and Peter both looked back instantly, different expressions on their faces. Dave turns around in his chair next to Jack, wearing a confused expression. "Do not." Peter says carefully. His voice quivers ever so slightly. Jack, on the other hand, smiles wide. "I'm going to BEAT YOUR A-" He starts to yell, but Peter rings his phone head loudly. "Fine, we'll play. But we're not betting ANY money this time!" Peter stands up. Dee groans as if to whine or complain, but Peter holds up a single finger. "Uh-uh, none of that. Thin ice." He says firmly.

So they started to set up the Switch.

Jack had bought it from a yard sale for about 35 dollars and abandoned it for years, until he mentioned it in the flipside, and suddenly Dee wanted to play. Dave didn't even know what a Nintendo Switch was. ("The hell is that? Ya mean a switchblade?") Peter, on the other hand, knew exactly how competitive Jack gets, so he immediately shut down any suggestion of playing. Obviously, he lost as everyone was getting their controllers situated. "Wait- pass me the, uh, the controller with two lights on." The rotary phone asked, reaching a hand over to Jack. "Oh, sure, hold on." Jack muttered. He tossed controller 2 over to Peter.

Once they had everything in order, it was time to choose characters.

Dee seemed ecstatic to choose Cat Peach. "She looks nice." She shifted in her seat as she waited for the others to choose. Dave chose Waluigi simply because he's purple. "He matches my colors, it jus' makes sense!" He said as he struggled to figure out the controls. Jack leaned over to help him out. "Look, press this button, that confirms that you've chosen your character and racecar." The tangerine murmured to his counterpart. "Oh, okay. Move over, Sportsy." Dave shoved Jack out of the way. "I'm just trying to help!" Jack raises his hands in defense.

"Sportsy, ya fuckin' boykisser, just move outta my way."

Dave points his thumb to his chest. "I got this, I'm gonna win." He grinned. Jack stared at him with a tired look for a couple of seconds, then moved on. He scrolled through the characters, then chose King Boo. "Why that guy?" Dave asks. "I dunno. He looks cool, I guess." Jack shrugs. "Anyways, Peter have you chosen your character yet?" Jack leans over to look at Peter. "Um. Yeah. Uh, I'll just- I'll just race as this little guy. Shy Guy. Yeah." Peter stammers. Dee leans over to look at him in a mix of concern and confusion, but the countdown begins before she can say anything.

"3...2...1...GO!!!"

"Go, go, go!" Jack exclaims. Dave is already off-roading, a panicked look on his face. "Gah! How the hell do I do this?!" He screeches. Peter's hands were shaking too much to really do much, and he kept glancing at Jack, who was now eerily silent. Dee was giggling and shrieking every now and then.

She threw a banana peel in Jack's direction, sending his car spinning. Jack froze. He slowly looked over at Dee. "You did not." He simply says. "I did." Dee smiles confidently.

Dave saw this interaction and decided to use tis towards his advantage. He grinned and leaned over to rest on Jack's shoulder. "Dave, what- what the hell are you doing," Jack mutters, trying to push the aubergine off. "Nothin', I'm just cuddling ya! It's fine!" Dave chuckles as he moves his head further up, completely blocking Jack's field of view. Jack shoves Dave's head forward. "Hey-!" The clementine shouts, but Dave was already bouncing right back to knock Jack over in-game and in reality. Jack falls with a 'FUCK YOU!' as Dave laughs.

"FINAL LAP!!!"

The game announcer's voice rings through the chatter of the group. Peter stammers in distress and he keeps bumping into Dee's cart. Jack was now regaining balance and trying to keep up, but miserably failing. "Dave, I can't believe you..." He glared at his aubergine partner. Dave poked his shoulder. "I'm gonna win and you know it, Sportsy!" He bragged with a toothy smile. "No, you're not, shut up!" Jack argued, to which Peter rang his phone head again. Jack rolled his eyes. "Just-" He began to speak, but was cut off by the sound of the game finishing. He looked over in despair.

Dave was in first place. Dee was second. Peter was third. Jack was dead last.

He buried his head in his hands and let out a groan of pure agony. "I hate you so, so much." He told Dave. Said man simply pat Jack's shoulder. "It's alright, Sportsy, you'll win next time." He said. Peter looked over. "Next time?!"

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word count - 838

sorry this was so crappy 😔

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