Celebrity Crush | Kim Taehyung Fan Fiction

Unspoken Desires

(Yeon's POV)

The dimly lit practice room held a hushed stillness, the only sound being the soft hum of the air conditioning. Hyejin lay peacefully on the couch, her form gently rising and falling with each breath. She looked vulnerable, lost in the clutches of exhaustion after a demanding rehearsal for the upcoming MAMA Awards.

My gaze lingered on her serene face, and for a moment, a sense of unease crept through me. Hyejin, the powerhouse idol, seemed so fragile in her moments of rest. I couldn't help but wonder if the demands of her career were taking a toll on her well-being.

The flickering overhead lights cast a warm glow on her, highlighting the exhaustion etched on her features. Her makeup, once pristine, had smudged, giving her an almost ethereal appearance. It was a stark contrast to the fierce image she projected on stage.

A mischievous thought crossed my mind as I approached her sleeping form. The room's silence allowed my words to hang in the air, a secret confession in the stillness.

"Whenever I'm with you, my brain stops working," I mused, my voice a soft whisper that only the empty room could hear.

The confession held a dual meaning, a subtle admission of the effect Hyejin had on me and the hidden complexities that entangled us. As her bodyguard, I was supposed to remain detached, but the line between duty and desire blurred with each passing day.

The room seemed to absorb my words, and I watched Hyejin, waiting for a reaction that never came. She slept peacefully, unaware of the turmoil brewing within me. The conflicting emotions swirled—a sense of duty warring with a growing affection that I couldn't deny.

With a lingering gaze, I turned away from the slumbering idol, leaving the practice room as quietly as I had entered. The secrets I harbored, the unspoken desires, weighed on my shoulders like an invisible burden.

--

Days passed, and my internal struggle persisted. I continued to fulfill my responsibilities, ensuring Hyejin's safety, and maintaining the stoic facade that masked the turmoil within me. Soft gestures, gestures that held the echo of affection, went unnoticed or brushed off by Hyejin, who saw them as mere facets of my job.

Taehyung's presence only intensified the storm inside me. He was cordial, respectful of my role, but my irrational jealousy flared each time he was near. The cold shoulder I gave him spoke volumes of the silent competition that brewed between us, a competition he probably didn't even realize existed.

The knowledge of Hyejin's hidden relationship with Taehyung lingered like a shadow in the background. They were a couple, keeping their love behind closed doors, shielded from the prying eyes of the public. My disapproval of their secrecy stemmed from a belief that Hyejin deserved more—a love that could be celebrated openly, a partner who wouldn't agree to hide in the shadows.

Yet, my internal conflict ran deeper, revealing a darker side to my desires. In the quiet moments of solitude, my mind betrayed me with inappropriate thoughts. 

I found myself dwelling on the curves of her body, the softness of her lips, and the imagined intimacy she shared with Taehyung. It was a battle against my own conscience, a struggle to suppress thoughts that crossed boundaries.

I questioned the legitimacy of their connection, convincing myself that I could offer Hyejin something more profound. In my fantasies, I envisioned a scenario where I replaced Taehyung, where my touch elicited responses that surpassed anything she had experienced before. It was a dangerous territory I ventured into, and the guilt that accompanied these thoughts clawed at my conscience.

As I patrolled the perimeters of Hyejin's life, I couldn't escape the realization that my feelings had taken a twisted turn. The line between duty and desire blurred, and the unspoken tension within me threatened to unravel. 

--

The neon lights of the bar flickered as I sat there nursing my drink. Hyejin's face lingered in my mind, the vulnerability I witnessed in the dimly lit practice room replaying like a broken record. I needed an escape, a distraction from the tangled mess of emotions.

Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed the girl who approached, a subtle smile playing on her lips. Her attempt at flirtation was evident, but my gaze remained stoic, fixed on her without really seeing her. She persisted, undeterred by my lack of response, and I found myself hesitating, caught in a moment of weakness.

Against my better judgment, I allowed her to lead me into a dance on the crowded floor. The pulsating music surrounded us, creating a temporary barrier between reality and the internal turmoil I sought to escape. Her laughter echoed in my ears, but it was a distant sound, overshadowed by the persistent images of Hyejin that lingered in my mind.

As the night wore on, we found ourselves in a more secluded corner of the bar. The girl's lips brushed against mine, and for a moment, I closed my eyes, letting the sensation wash over me. In that fleeting second, I convinced myself that it was Hyejin in my arms, a desperate attempt to fill the void left by my own unspoken desires.

The cool night air did little to sober my foggy mind as we stumbled out of the bar. The city lights blurred, a distorted kaleidoscope reflecting the mess I had made of my emotions. 

I led her to a nondescript hotel, the decision fueled by the misguided hope that the physical act would somehow erase the inappropriate desires I harbored for Hyejin.

In the dimly lit hotel room, my actions were mechanical, disconnected from the reality I was trying to escape. The girl's words were lost on me as I closed my eyes, attempting to drown out the guilt that threatened to engulf me. 

In the darkness, I clung to the illusion that it was Hyejin beneath my touch, a desperate attempt to justify the transgressions I had committed.

As the morning light filtered through the curtains, reality crashed over me. The events of the night replayed like a regretful movie, and the faceless girl beside me stirred in her sleep. The room, once a temporary refuge, now felt tainted by my own misguided attempts at escape.

Dressed in silence, I left the room, the weight of guilt heavy on my shoulders. The morning air was crisp, a harsh contrast to the warmth of the bar. 

I couldn't shake the feeling that I had betrayed not only myself but the trust that came with my duty as Hyejin's protector.