Finding Out Secrets (The Covenant Fanfiction)

Chapter 59

Trigger Warning: Going forward chapters will have references/discuss depression, death, dying, suicide, self-harm, self-hate, violence, and other topics within those realms. Mental health is important and I want you guys to stay safe while reading. Please take care of yourself. <3

Chapter 59:

Caleb was silent as he drove back to the dorms. He finally stopped shaking after five minutes. His shirt was drenched in sweat by the time he calmed down. He changed into a spare shirt he had in his back seat, unfazed that I was there and could see him. I shifted my gaze to look out the window taking in the damp scenery that was the woods. Periodically he would rub his face, stressed from the wheels working overtime in his head.

"Want to tell me what you're thinking?" I asked, after fifteen minutes of tense silence.

He sighed and said, "It just doesn't make sense to me. You're not affected by the darklings the same way I am."

"Can they do that?" I asked.

"If that is what the caster is wanting. But-," he started but then clamped his mouth shut.

"What?" I asked immediately noticing.

"It's... nothing," he lied.

"Caleb."

He hesitated but then fully committed to telling me his thoughts. "Usually, a darkling is sent to one person, not to multiple people. It weakens its ability to do what the caster is using it for." He paused. "I think whoever is behind the attacks is trying to get to one of us. And I think, I think it's being sent to you."

I let his words sink in. Any time there was a darkling attack, it seemed to always appear to me first. I replayed the attacks in my head. Most of the time, the darkling would get startled from my attacks and then flee. That is usually when Caleb would see them. Maybe when it came around Caleb it was draining his energy somehow? Maybe trying to get some power back after being attacked by me?

"So once again, it's my fault," I mumbled to myself, realizing that it made sense. Caleb remained silent. He didn't know what to say and it was evident. He wasn't the type to make up feel-good statements to coddle someone. "Who would be after me, if that is the case?" I asked, turning to him.

"That I still haven't figured out," Caleb groaned.

"Is it possible that someone else had a second kid? Maybe not your parents but maybe the grandparents or something?" I asked.

"That's not possible," Caleb immediately stated.

"Is it?" I asked, pointing to myself. "I think at this point we can both agree that anything is possible." He nodded, reluctantly. "What do you think we should do next?" I questioned.

Once again, he hesitated as he parked in a parking spot, reaching back to the dorms. I gave him a look to spill it. "I think the easiest and quickest way to test that theory is if you were to leave Ipswich."

Ouch.

Everyone wants me to leave.

As if seeing what I thought written on my face, he quickly spoke, "But that doesn't mean we are going to try it. That would be a last resort."

I hated to even ask but I had to. "What if that solved everything?" I whispered. He didn't have an answer for that.

Would leaving solve everything? Would it stop the attacks? Would the guys be safe? Would they even care if I did?

The questions rattled in my mind as Caleb and I sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"I shouldn't have brought that up. Even if you were to leave, it wouldn't reveal who was sending the darklings. It would still leave us with a lot of unanswered questions," Caleb explained.

So if it did provide answers, he would be okay with me leaving.

Maybe the damnation is right. Maybe I attract evil or I am evil.

What's the point in even staying anymore...

I should just pack a bag and go.

"Would you be open to it? If it came to that?" Caleb asked. There was no feeling in his words. He wanted a straight answer and the feeling that he was sending my way was one of protectiveness. Not for me but for their precious Covenant. He would sacrifice what he needed to, to protect his family.

With another cracking feeling inside, I shook my head yes.

Once again, there was an uncomfortable silence.

"Thanks for the ride. Sorry that I wasn't able to help find any answers," I said, no longer looking at him. "You should go home and get some rest."

He didn't say anything, unsure what to say. I got my bag and exited his car. Sarah was walking out the door and entering the parking lot with a bag in her hand. She must have decided to stay the night with Caleb at his house. She gave me a small smile as we awkwardly passed each other, and I nodded my head at her.

I entered my room, Kate was also gone as her bed was made up and her things cleared. It was so empty and quiet. Sitting on my bed, I looked into the mirror that hung on the main door of the room.

"Where are the ones who claimed they would always be there for you, Blair? Claimed you as family?" Lillian's voice trickled into my mind.

I looked at myself, alone, once again.

"How pathetic of you to say you would leave so they can rest easy. You would give them what they want. To be rid of you, except they'll make it seem like it was your idea," she spat. I could almost feel what she would do to me if we were in the dream world right now. The feeling of gripping my face between the palm of her hand as she squeezed her sharp long nails into me, burned under my skin. I blinked and looked at myself in the mirror again, this time seeing what I felt. The indentations on either side of my cheek burned bright red.

"Stop it," I said out loud to her, rubbing my face in my hands, trying to remove the marks from my sight. There was a satisfied chuckle in my head.

"Remember, Blair. You mean nothing to them. And, you will never leave Ipswich. Don't you dare forget those two things."

Then there was silence.

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time, taking myself in.

I really am pathetic.

Very pathetic.

What is the point of being here.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Author's Notes: 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! If you liked it, feel free to give this chapter a vote and/or comment. I would love to hear what you guys think, who your favorite character is, anything you would like to say! Again, thank you for your support. See you at the next chapter!