Chapter 23

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The sound of the children laughing filled the park that late afternoon, I was sitting on the bench as I watched the little kids race against the wind, I smiled realizing that their innocence hadn't been tainted with the expectations of the world yet, when did we stop being a child? I thought, feeling a little envious of them. They are free from all the demands of life, protected from the truth of sadness and joy of reality. I exhaled some air; I was deep in my internal monologue when someone extended their arm and offered a cup of coffee to me.

"You, okay? Problems?" Ram asked at tuluyan na itong umupo sa aking tabi. Things had been hectic lately and now that we finally have moments of downtime Ram and I decided to take a stroll in the park near the apartment building. We both needed a break.

"Wala naman... nag iisip lang" sagot ko dito trying to hide the truth.

"Tungkol kay Allen?" He pried while he stretched his legs and arms. Tumingala ito sa langit and squinted his eyes.

Instead of answering him, I hold on to the coffee he gave and sip it. "Hmmmmm... You really know what I like" I uttered lifting the cup at him. "Great Job!"

"Don't change the subject Geraldine, ano ba ang problema mo kay Allen?" He circles it back to the one thing I don't want to talk about.

Is this interrogation?

"Well..."

"Well?" He followed up habang nakataas ang kilay nito.

I sighed loudly. "I am not 100% honest with him and with all the betrayal he went through for the past months I am scared that he might not understand why I did those things before" I stated blurting it all out.

Ram paused and looked at me.

"Did you exact your revenge though?" He asked.

I was confused by his question but answered it anyway. "Not really... No"

"Exactly, it's just like you hated a person and you think of wanting to kill that man or woman, but you didn't act on it. Nobody, no crime, they say" he offered an analogy.

"Do you think he will understand?" I softly asked.

"Just tell him the truth and be honest about it, you lost your father no one would act cool about the whole thing. You were hurt, alone, and confused. Revenge was the only thing that made sense to you during that time" he stated spilling everything I had felt inside.

Namamangha akong nakatingin sa mga mata nito at hindi ko mapigilan na mapaluha, how come this man understands me? Understand what I went through? "You should consider working as a psychologist instead I think may future ka sa career na yan" I jokingly added.

"You know what, maybe I'll do that..." he responded to my silliness.

On a serious note, I said. "Thank you, Ram, for saying that you just don't know how much it means to me" I genuinely uttered after a while.

He winked at me trying to lighten the mood. "Besides if ayaw na sayo ni Allen, nandito lang ako para sa iyo. Back up dancer mo ako. Kaya wag ka na masyadong malungkot diyan." he chuckled. I am not sure if he means it or not, but I felt a little sorry for Ram. I can never be able to reciprocate his feelings for me more than what friendship can offer.

"Thank you" I whispered genuinely while touching his hand, he squeezed it back.

One evening, I was wearing a tiny backless dress feeling more bold than usual, Allen wanted to have dinner by offering to cook for me and so we were in his apartment during that time pouring some wine while he filled the space with candles and flowers. I smiled appreciating the effort he put into making this date memorable.

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