I Became The Protagonist's Child

chapter 38

After finishing the cake Sihan gently cuts a slice for Amani he chuckles as he looks at the big slice but frowns once more as he remembers when he was pregnant with Noah and decided to make cake for Nathaniel. It wasn't any special occasion but he just wanted to make a cake for him because he likes doing these kinds of things for others and seeing them smile while eating his cake and pastries. 

Sihan was very emotional during his pregnancy, he knows so when Nathaniel said he was not in the mood to eat, he felt hurt by this and started to argue with him. During this time Nathaniel takes it and throws it in the trash, Sihan had taken the hint and didn't make any more cakes for Nathaniel as surprises and Nathaniel never asked after all Nathaniel didn't like sweets. He should never have made it in the first place.

Sihan takes the cake and juice he feels hesitant, will Yaakov even like it? He feels paranoid.  Zorah walks into the room seeing the cake under a glass container she smiles, “may I have a slice?” 

“Ah yes!” 

“Thank you,”

She removes the container then cuts a slice of cake putting it in a cover dish then leaves. Sihan bites his bottom lip as he walks out the kitchen to the living room where he sees his son playing with Yaakov, he pauses for a second looking at his little boy. 

Sihan sees a side of him that he wishes he could see when they were with Nathaniel, a lovely baby playing with his Dada. And it makes Sihan feel all the more terrible that he couldn't give his boy the best, he needs to work harder.

He wants the world for Noah, “I love you a lot you know,” 

He walks over to them and Noah soon crawls at Sihan's feet as he places the cake and juice down, he takes up the bottle with Noah's juice and sits Noah takes the bottle feeding himself.

“His motor skills are really fast for his age,” 

“Hm?” Sihan's attention was caught.

“Noah, his motor skills are fast, he is already fully grasping and picking up things at 10 months and can already firmly hold a bottle and I wouldn't take it to guess he can colour he'd probably walk if he wasn't afraid of walking, let's not forget his cognitive skills.” 

Sihan fiddles with his fingers, “is that a problem?” 

“No, there are cases of children developing early but if you'd like I can run some test, it's just a doctor's habit to observe people like for instance you, pale skin and the pores on your face shows that that your not getting the right amount of sleep which can stem from agitation for being a new environment and stress or is your psychi?” 

Amani smiles at Sihan who looks guilty, “I'm sorry,” 

“What are you apologising for?” 

“huh?” 

“What are you apologising for?” Amani repeats.

“Well…” 

“See, you don't know what you're apologising for. Apologising has become such a habit for you that you apologise as a reflex which makes it quite disingenuous.” Amani smiles.

His tone was not angry, his tone was not the typical jokes and giggles, it was calm, fluent and soft spoken. As if speaking from one person to another.

“I'm so– I mean– uh–” 

“Yes,” 

“Huh,” 

“Yes, you mean yes. Sihan do not apologise to me if you're not sure on what you are apologising for. I take apologies very seriously because it's rare that you ever genuine ones okay?”