Shattered 1 of 4

Chapter 7 Adam Ruzek

The sun is just starting to rise, Kim is sleeping so is the baby he's on her chest. Her hand protectively on his back.

None of this is the way it's supposed to be, Wendy should be here. I feel as if this is my punishment I had been trying to figure out a way to tell her that I thought we needed some time apart, did I love her? Yea, I did on some level but it wasn't the same anymore, and it hadn't been for awhile. Not since she had hooked up with an old college friend, it wasn't the first time she strayed and but we decided to give it another go when she found out she was pregnant, a paternity test proving it was mine. For awhile I thought it may work out, but slowly the fights started again and now this.

Now, I have to plan a funeral. Wendy had no family, it was part of the reason I stayed with her for so long, but now it doesn't matter she's gone and I'm left to pick up the pieces of our shattered family.

He starts to whimper on Kim's chest, I don't know what to do. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

"Good morning little one" she talks to him, her voice is filled with love and I don't understand how she is doing it "you are so handsome little one, just like your daddy" I can hear her get up and move around the room. "I know your daddy pretty well, and I know he loves you. You just need to give him some time, he won't turn his back on you, and if your daddy will let me I would like to help take care of you"

I break my silence, "he will" is all I say.

She turns to face me, my son nestled in her arms, he looks content and safe "I'm sorry?"

I point to my son "he needs you, and I do too" she comes closer and sits on the edge of the bed. "I want you to be in his life"

"I will do whatever I can to help you" she tells me inching closer, I can see what she is doing, "look at your daddy little one"

I can't help but smile at him, he does look like me "you're right he is beautiful" I gently place my hand on his head, his hair is so soft.

"Do you want to hold him?"

I shrug, "No, I don't think so"

She looks defeated, "Adam, you won't break him" she suddenly places him in my arms and moves my hand to cradle his head "see, he fits perfectly" she smiles.

I can't help but smile at the little baby in my arms, "thank you" I tell her, "for everything"

Al knocks on the door, "hey kid" he says softly, "I'm sorry about Wendy"

"I need to go speak with the baby's nurse, I'll be right back" she leaves, my boy is still in my arms and he's drifted off to sleep.

"How are you holding up?" Al asks.

"I'm not sure, Al I was planning on leaving Wendy, it's just all so surreal" I tell him, he must think I'm an ass "I don't know how I'm going to do this, I don't know the first thing about taking care of a baby" I look down at the sleeping newborn "I'm just thankful that Kim is willing to help" if I'm honest with myself, I've been fighting my feelings for Kim for a long time. I've never acted on them but it's been a battle, and I suspect she may feel the same way.

I feel like shit even thinking about Kim like that, my wife hasn't even been buried yet and I'm thinking about another woman, though she was my wife in name only. The night we conceived this baby was the last time I had sex with her, and it was meaningless.

"Adam, no marriage is perfect and this is tragic what happened to Wendy and you but don't beat yourself up about a marriage that was failing" Al explained "it happens to the best of us, now you need to focus on that little baby"

Kim comes back, paperwork in her hands. "Adam, you need to fill out the birth certificate, he needs a name"

Wonderful, "I don't have a clue on what to name him. We never discussed it, we don't have anything for him aside from a crib"

He starts to cry in my arms, I can't do this "take him Kim, please"