Shattered 1 of 4

Chapter 33 Kim Burgess

I know I shouldn't have left Adam's room the way I did, I just needed to get out before I sobbed like a little baby, kind of like what I'm doing now.

Thankfully Amy left before I broke down, Adam's words keep replaying in my head 'our son', he had always referred to Anthony as his son. I know he never meant to hurt me when he said those words, but it hurt. I know it's silly, it's the just the truth Anthony isn't my son he's Adam's and Wendy's.

I watch as he sleeps his little but up in the air, his thumb in his mouth he looks like an angel when he sleeps. I can't help it, but I will always be jealous of Wendy, she was the one who gave Adam his first child, she's the one who created this little boy with Adam, she carried him.

I silently chastise myself, yes Wendy did all of those things but I'm the one who is raising him. I feel so guilty some days, I'm benefiting from a tragedy that took Wendy's life far too soon, it robbed her the chance of being Anthony's mom.

"Is your daddy right, sweet boy, am I your mommy?" I laugh asking a sleeping seven month old a question.

The ringing of my cell phone startles me, I grab it quickly and go in the hallway.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you"

"Adam, you should be resting" I tell him, "are you okay?"

He sighs, "I'm fine, it's you I'm kind of worried about, you left pretty quick earlier"

I can hear the confusion in his voice, "I shouldn't have run out like that, I just didn't want you and Al to see me lose it"

"What do you mean?"

I sit at the kitchen table, "whenever you talk about Anthony, you always referred to him as your son" I hesitate before I say anything else "before you say anything just let me finish" I warn him, I need to get this off my chest "it always hurt my feelings, I know you didn't mean to hurt me but it did, it's silly I know"

I can hear him take a deep breath "Darlin', I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was even doing that, but listen to me, okay?"

"I'm listening"

"If it wasn't for you, Anthony wouldn't be the amazing little boy he is, you are the one who has taught him what it means to be loved and to love, you are the one he reaches for when he's scared or he has hurt himself. If you ask me that's what makes you his mother, biology doesn't make a mother"

Adam's words have reduced me to a puddle of tears, "Kim, are you okay?" He asks, I'm sure he can hear me cry.

"Adam, that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" I wipe by eyes, "I wish you were here, Adam, I love you so very much"

"I wish I was at home too, but it won't be long. Doc says I should be out of here in a few days"

I glance at the clock and see it's after midnight and I know Anthony will be up at five, no matter what time he goes to bed he's up at 5 every morning "you need to rest baby, please try and get some sleep, I love you"

"I love you too Darlin', and I mean it, that little boy isn't just my son, he's our son"

As I go back into the bedroom Anthony is babbling to himself, I pick him up and bring him into the bed with me, "oh sweet boy, will you let me be your mommy?"