Red Bullets in June

Chapter 37: Unexpected Turn

Jaxon paces back and forth outside of the operating room in Dr. Reed's basement while anxiously combing his fingers through his ebony hair again and again. Charlotte's been inside for an hour.
"Please, don't take them away from me. Please, don't take them away from me. Please, don't take them away from me."
He's been reciting this mantra the entire hour.
The door to the operating room opens and Dr. Reed strides out to meet Jaxon. He glances up at her with pleading eyes.
"She's gonna be okay."
"Oh, thank god!"
"But, she's suffered a great deal of traumatic injuries. Her left leg is broken, her right ankle, both of her arms and wrists and 3 of her ribs. Most of her body is in a cast and we moved her to a room to rest. You can see her in a little while. She'll need to rest and recover as much as possible over these next 26 weeks to be ready for labor."
"So the baby's okay??"
"The boy is, but... the girl... She took most of the beating and died..."
"Girl?"
"Yes. She was carrying twins. Didn't you know that?"
"No. The ultrasound showed only 1 baby. A boy..."
"The ultrasound was wrong. There were definitely 2 babies."
Jaxon clutches at handfuls of his ebony hair as this information absorbs into his soul: "2 babies? 2 babies??"
"Yes, Jaxon. There were 2 babies," Dr. Reed repeats herself again with kind patience.
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"And the girl... She's..."
"She didn't make it..."
Jaxon begins to pace back and forth across the hallway as he rakes his fingers through his ebony hair once more. "I can't believe this... Twins...? And the girl is... The girl is... My little girl is..."
As Dr. Reed's words solidify in Jaxon's mind and soul, he's overcome with the foreign emotion of losing one's child that is crippling beyond description. He stops abruptly in his tracks, loses his ability to stand, crashes helplessly into the sterile, white tile and begins to sob like he's never sobbed before.

"You can see her now," Dr. Reed lightly pats Jaxon's shoulder. He lifts his head to reveal a puffy and swollen face. He's been in the same spot, kneeling in the sterile, white tile for an hour as he's mourned the loss of his unborn daughter.
The daughter he'll never get to see...
Nodding, he wipes his tear stained face and staggers to his feet.
"She's in the second door down on the right," Dr. Reed directs him.
Jaxon nods again and stumbles down the hallway like a drunkard toward the second door down on the right. He comes to an arrested standstill at the threshold and clutches the door frame for support.
If the knowledge that his unborn daughter is now dead, murdered by vicious men wasn't crippling enough, the sight of his lover before him could've nearly killed him.
Charlotte is confined by casts on almost every part of her body except for her torso, chest, neck and her right thigh. Her eyes are swollen shut and her face is grotesquely deformed with black and purple bruises. Her heartbeat and breathing are synchronized with the intermittent beeping of machines that are attached to her with a web of tubes.
"Charlotte..." His voice cracks with strain.
He stammers to her bedside and deteriorates to his knees.
"Jaxon...? Is that you?" Charlotte croaks.
Jaxon bolts to his feet at his lover's voice and delicately caresses her swollen face like it's made of a sheet of glass. "Yes, baby. It's me. I'm here. And I promise, I will never leave your side again."
"Oh Jaxon. I'm so glad you're okay," Charlotte smiles wearily. "I was so worried about you."
"Oh baby, I was worried about you too." Jaxon places a whisper of a kiss on her swollen cheek.
She pushes a strained smile. "If only I could see your handsome face. They've beaten my eyes shut..."
Jaxon brushes her cheek with his lips once more, as light as a feather. "Oh baby... I'm so sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." Wishing he could hold her and comfort her in this damaged state, but not wanting to harm her fragile body, Jaxon helplessly crumbles to his knees once more and begins to weep into her sheets. "This is all my fault..."
"Jaxon, don't cry. It's not your fault. Please, don't cry."
"It is my fault... I should've never let you leave me... I should've been there to protect you... Why can't I ever protect anyone...?"
"But you saved me, Jaxon. I'm here now because you rescued me. Now, tell me, is the baby alright?"
Jaxon's sobs stop abruptly as he peers up gingerly at Charlotte's mangled face. "Didn't Dr. Reed tell you?"
"Tell me what?" She shifts uncomfortably. "Jaxon, what is it? Please, tell me the baby's okay??"
Silence.
"Jaxon? Please??"
"Charlotte... There was..."
"There was what...?"
"A girl..."
"A girl?"
"There was a girl..."
"What? I don't understand..."
"Charlotte, you were carrying twins. A boy and a girl, but the girl..."
"What? Jaxon, what're you talking about?"
"The ultrasound was wrong. There were two babies..."
"Were..." Charlotte's swollen eyes begin to leak with tormented liquid.
"There was a boy and a girl, but the girl, she... Our little girl... She..."
"No, no, no. Jaxon, no!"
"I'm so sorry, baby..."
Please, tell me you're lying!"
Jaxon shakes his head as quiet tears roll down his cheeks. Charlotte begins thrashing around inside her casts in a panicked and psychotic frenzy.
"Charlotte! Stop!" Jaxon begins to sob again as he jumps to his feet to still her. "You're going to hurt yourself!"
"You're lying! Please, Jaxon! Tell me you're lying!"
Dr. Reed bursts through the door. "What's going on in here??"
"JAXON!" Charlotte continues to thrash and scream. "DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME! HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS!"
"Charlotte, please!" Jaxon begs between broken cries. "It's gonna be okay. Just try to calm down. You're hurting yourself!"
"GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOW!"
"We're gonna have to sedate her!" Dr. Reed presses urgently. "She's suffering from a panic attack and it's putting too much strain on her body. She's aggravating her injuries!"
Dr. Reed rushes out of the room and comes back in seconds with a drip bag of anesthesia. She attaches it to Charlotte's IV.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE, GOSH, DAMN IT!"
Within a few moments, the anesthesia spreads through Charlotte's veins and her screaming convulsions are stilled as her eyes drift shut.
Jaxon sinks to his knees in shock for the millionth time in one day.
He's speechless.

It feels as though heavy weights are sitting on my eyelids. I attempt to push the weights off again and again. When I contemplate giving up, a white ceiling materializes in front of me. I blink a few times.
Where am I?
My head feels as light as a wisp of air, but my body feels heavy, stiff and confined. I try sitting up, but I can't. All I can move is my neck and head.
Why can't I move?
"Charlotte?" Jaxon's heavenly voice blesses my ears.
The sound of his voice alone acts as a repairing needle and thread that begin to stitch my torn heart back together. When my heart heard the news that Jaxon finally came after me and traveled to my mom's apartment, at last, she willed herself to step out of her dreaded coffin.
Jaxon's here? Oh, how I've missed him. I just want to kiss him right now.
I attempt to sit up again to do just that, but I'm restrained to the bed.
Dang it. Why can't I move?
Jaxon's criminally handsome face eclipses the white ceiling and his expansive ebony eyes bore into mine with grateful love. I get lost in those eyes.
How I've missed looking into them.
"Charlotte baby, you're awake." Jaxon leans down to peck a soft and loving kiss on my lips.
I melt.
Just what I wanted...
"How are you feeling...?" Jaxon whispers.
"Confused... Where am I? And why can't I move?"
"You're in Dr. Reed's basement; her private hospital... in a full body cast."
I blink a few times as I process this information.
So that's why I can't move.
"What happened?" I ask.
Jaxon hesitates. "Khleo and Vick and all those other b*stards... they did this to you..." and he motions to my body with a look of disdained regret.
Inside my mind, the flood gates of repressed horrors burst open and a torrent of harsh and violent memories of my horrific gang rape and beating drown my brain matter.
And then, I remember.
Our baby.
"Jaxon? How's Gabriel? Did he make it?"
Jaxon smiles and nods, but there's a hint of sorrow glistening in his eyes.
"Jaxon, what's wrong? Did something happen to Gabriel?"
"No, he's fine."
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Charlotte."
"Jaxon, I can see in your face that something is wrong. Tell me."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why? Jaxon, what happened?"
Jaxon's face falls and I know something serious has happened.
"Jaxon, please, tell me."
He places his delicate tattooed fingers on my cheek and brushes it lightly with his thumb. "Charlotte baby... I don't know how to tell you this... And I don't want you having another panic attack..."
"I had a panic attack? Why?" My heart picks up her pace. "Jaxon? Why did I have a panic attack? What happened?"
"You... You had twins, Charlotte."
"What? What're you talking about?"
"The ultrasound was wrong. You were carrying twins; a boy and a girl."
I process this information slowly.
"A girl...?"
"Yes."
"Is she okay?"
Jaxon shakes his head.
No.
"Jaxon, please tell me she's okay."
Tears prick at his ebony eyes and I begin to hyperventilate.
A little girl... And she's... It can't be...
"Jaxon, please... Tell me she's okay."
"I can't, Charlotte..."
This can't be happening. I must be having a nightmare. This has to be a nightmare!
"Jaxon, please!" My throat constricts, cutting off my supply of oxygen while excruciating tears pierce my eyes.
"Charlotte, I'm so sorry..." He hangs his head to the pit of the earth. "I'm so sorry..."
"No..." I can't breathe. My air supply has been cut off from my lungs.
"Charlotte, please. Calm down. You're terribly injured. I don't want you to hurt yourself again."
But, it's no use. Violent convulsions seize every nerve ending in my body as heaving cries consume my entire being. "Our baby!" I choke and gasp for air. "A girl... I didn't even... She couldn't even..."
"Charlotte, please. Everything's gonna be okay."
"She... She..." My lungs desperately grasp for even a single atom of oxygen, but come back with nothing.
I'm suffocating.
Through a blurry haze of liquid, I can barely comprehend Jaxon slamming down a giant, red button on a grey remote. "Dr. Reed! She's having another panic attack! She can't breathe!"
"I'll be right there!"
With my severe thrashing, clenched airways and foggy, wet eyes, I'm only able to make out a blob of purple that flies into the room.
And then, blackness.