Can't You See | M. Sano

37| Delusions

January 18, 2018

Future timeline...

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TW: might make some audiences uncomfortable. Signs of psychotic disorder, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, personality disorder.

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It has been a while since you've been in this future. You know, the one where you're running a gang? The timeline where blood painted your hands like you were some kind of phlebotomy technician who poked the wrong vein too many times.

That one...

If you had to guess how long you've been in this future, you'd say for a couple of weeks now. Or moreover, as long as you've had your consciousness.

There was no denying your knowledge in this timeline. You knew every way to kill a man and woman alike. Ways to make them suffer, mentally and physically.

You didn't know what to make of yourself...

Nor could you deny the memories your temporal lobe held. Each is as vivid as the next one. The sensation of blood splattering on your face, the texture of bones breaking under your hands, the feelings you never reckoned you would experience in your lifetime.

You sat in your office typing away on your computer, as if you worked a 9-5 and didn't run a criminal organization. Your office was filled with darkness from the dimly lighted lamps around the room. A window was cracked open slightly, breezes of cold air flooding the room.

You could feel the hairs rising on the back of your neck.

Were you cold? Odd...

It was dead winter... oh, how you hated winter...

A long exhale left your lips as your hands pushed against the cold mahogany of your desk.

Was everything always this fuckin' cold?

Pushing away from the desk, your gaze traveled to the blank ceiling. It seemed exhaustion was beginning to take over. How many hours did you sleep again? Four? Sounds about right.

"Since when was everything so...dull?" you asked yourself.

It was a question you couldn't find the explanation for. No matter how much you pondered, thought, or relapsed. You couldn't find an answer.