Feitan x Reader; Tangled in a Web of Spiders

The First Spider Part 1

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'I'm surprised Fei let you go outside without him,' Machi said with a wink, though her face was serious.

'Well, he wasn't thrilled, I can tell you that. But he realized that Phinks needed his protection more than me right now.' You laughed. 'Now, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say.'

While Phinks normally wouldn't need any kind of bodyguard, the Troupe's high alert when it came to Hisoka had destroyed any semblance of normality. That meant that nobody, not even the strongest members, was supposed to roam around on their own. Thanks to, or more likely despite of Feitan's relationship advice, Phinks's romance was blooming. Today he was having a lunch date, and while the object of his infatuation was perfectly capable of dealing with minor threats, Hisoka was way out of her league. So instead, Fei and Shal were keeping an eye on their friend, supposedly while being discreet and unnoticed. Though considering the complaints mixed with naughty snickering they had responded with when agreeing to the job, the chances of that were slim. You hoped they were having fun, but preferably without ruining Phinks's love life.

'So, how're you holding up?' Machi asked, now even more serious. 'Yesterday must have been hard on you. The rest of us are used to watching Fei's...interrogations. And killing hasn't bothered any of us for many years. But you...'

'Yeah, I'm soft.' You sighed.

'Yes, and no. I mean you are soft, but that's not a bad thing. Come on, even Fei doesn't think that.' She smiled mysteriously and reached for some bread, 'The rest of us just have had more experience when it comes to violence. I guess you could say that we're desensitized.'

'I guess.' The strange feeling of power and desperation and fear that had made you kill that man came back, making it hard to breathe. You didn't regret it. None of it. They deserved everything they got. Still, having taken a life, a human life after you'd spent your life healing people made you feel both lost and more than a little nauseous. And while you were thankful that Machi wasn't just brushing it off, you didn't really want to talk about it.

'Desensitized? From everything you went through as kids?'

'Partly. But mainly from after we started the Troupe.'

'After your friend's death, right?'

'Yes,' she said quietly. 'But that was a very long time ago. We were all just kids back then.'

'It must have been hard growing up there, even with your tight-knit group of friends.'

'Yeah, there was a lot of crap going on. Much more than we realized back then. We've tried to interfere with at least some of it ever since we started the Troupe. We all joined and developed our abilities with that goal in mind. Revenge, and making sure it wouldn't happen to any other children.' She smiled wistfully, 'We were so naive and childish back then, but at least we've made a difference.'

'You know I've been asking Fei about Meteor and his childhood. And the reason why you changed from a theater Troupe to...' you hesitated, '...what you are now. He mentioned that none of you knew about nen back then, and when I asked how you'd found out about it he just said that it wasn't his story to tell and that I should ask you.'

'Did he now?' Machi made a face, then smiled. 'Very well. It's not much of a story though. I take it he told you about how Sarasa died. How they murdered her?'

'He did. And he mentioned that in a way it was her death that made you discover nen, and eventually start the Troupe...'

'Yeah, I guess you could say that. I was the first of us to get a teacher. You remember how we found Sarasa's body? Well, at her funeral she was whole again, looking like she was just sleeping, not a mark on her. Like she'd been put back together by some kind of magic.' Machi smiled, and you nodded. You remembered how nen and the things people could do with it had seemed like pure magic when you were a kid. Leaning a little closer, eager to learn anything you could about your friends' past you nodded for Machi to go on.