Author's Note
Hi everyone!
This is the first fanfic that I've ever written and I really hope you'll like it. Please feel free to give me any comments or criticisms you have, because I'm always looking to improve. I'd also love it if you gave suggestions on any scenes or plot twists you'd like to see in the future, because I want this to be something that you'll thoroughly enjoy.
Thanks so much for reading :)
Enjoy xX
Grace's POV
I woke up to Chester gently shaking my arm. I felt slightly startled and confused after a very strange dream. I looked up at him, still feeling groggy and dazed with sleep.
"Hey, calm down. You've been fidgeting like crazy!" Chester grinned, but looked concerned at the same time.
"Really?" I rubbed my eyes. "Sorry, I just had a really weird dream."
"Care to tell me what it was about?" Chester comically wiggled his eyebrows, making me laugh.
"It was nothing, don't worry about it." I felt quite unsettled by the dream, but tried to distract myself by running my fingers through Chester's hair.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Chester became slightly more serious and looked me in the eye.
"Yeah, I know. It was a stupid dream, anyway." I paused briefly. "I dreamt that I was pregnant and had a baby and I guess it scared me." I held my breath, searching Chester's face for a reaction. He looked blankly at me for a second.
"Having a baby isn't the worst thing in the world, you know? I wouldn't mind if we had a baby.. In fact, I would love it if we had a baby." Chester sounded slightly guilty, because he knew how scared I was of having to take care of and be fully responsible for a helpless human being.
Was this Chester's way of asking for a baby? Maybe he was too scared to bring it up on his own and was waiting for any opportunity he could get.
I felt overwhelmed. As if the world was resting on my shoulders and I was expected to carry on walking.
"How long have you been wanting a baby?" I questioned, making an effort to avoid eye contact by fiddling with the sheets.
"I don't know. I've always wanted to be a dad, since I was a little boy. I've always envisioned myself with children." Chester's words numbed me. I loved him very dearly, but I had never felt so indifferent to him. I wanted the exact opposite. Children were never something I saw in my future.
I stayed silent. I didn't have a response. There was no way that I, Grace Anne Helbig, could have a child. I would ruin it. I can scarcely take care of myself and Goose, let alone a baby.
After waiting a few moments in the deadly silence, I awkwardly slid out of bed and walked to the bathroom.
Chester's POV
I felt ashamed and confused by what I had just confessed to Grace. Ashamed, because I had placed so much pressure on the person I loved the most, and confused because I actually shouldn't feel guilty about expressing myself.
It's a great demand to ask someone for a baby. An even greater demand if that person is not yet ready to take on the role of a parent, but surely I'm entitled to a family?
I heard the shower taps turn on and they slightly drowned my thoughts and brought me back to reality.
I got up and went to the kitchen, where I was greeted by an energetic and hungry Goose. She jumped up at my legs and I couldn't help but smile at her. I opened the door and she dashed outside, rolling and running in the garden. I watched as I put a few spoonfuls of coffee beans into the coffee machine, which whirred away, before spewing black coffee into my cup.
I sat at our island table and thought about Grace. I couldn't tell who was being more selfish.. Me, for expecting something she wasn't comfortable with, or her, for depriving me of something I had always wanted that only she could give.
My stomach churned and knotted at the subject, so I quickly tried to think of something positive. I reminisced to when McKenna, my niece was born.
It wasn't too long ago, but I couldn't imagine a life without her. I had never felt as proud as when I held her for the first time, knowing that she was part of my family and I was privileged enough to be a part of her life. She wasn't even my child, and I felt so much joy when I thought about her.
I couldn't even imagine how proud and happy I would feel about a child of my own. Grace and I's child. I became increasingly angry as I realised that having a child might not be a possibility for me.
At that moment, Grace walked into the kitchen, dressed and ready for the day. She looked shy and slightly uncomfortable. Her shoulders were shrugged near her ears, a clear indicator of her feelings towards the situation. She sat down opposite me and fiddled with her hands.
"Grace, what scares you so much about having children?" My anger provided me with the confidence to ask the questions I wanted answers to.
"I won't be able to be the parent they need. I know I won't. I don't have maternal instinct." She couldn't even look me in the eye.
"Yes you will, Grace." I softened. "I know that you're able to do this."
"Maybe I will be able to, but I don't want to." Grace snapped. "I'm not ready for a kid and I don't think I ever will be, so if it bothers you so much, find someone else who'll have a billion of your children." Tears welled up in her eyes and she stood up. I had never seen Grace this angry.
"You know what?" I felt hurt by the comments and became angry too. "Maybe I should, because you're destroying my dreams. I deserve kids and I'm going to let you hold me back."
Grace looked at me with a pained expression, her face contorted as she tried not to cry. She stormed out of the kitchen and out the front door, slamming it as she left. I could her the engine of her car starting up and she finally pulled out of the driveway.
I rested my head in my hands. What have I done?
