The Runt of the Litter

Blood and Prayer

Note: heyyy... ik it's been like ten months... sorry

thank you so much to everyone who's voted and commented and all that good stuff <3 i'm sorry to leave you all hanging like this for so long

this is the highly requested anna sees sam on demon blood chapter

anna is two in the first scene, then nine and eventually ten

Blood and Prayer

When Anna was especially little, Sam tried to teach her how to pray.

It was cold and raining, but she and Sam were stuck in the back of the Impala together. Dad was acting extra squirrely about the hunt while Dean just acted even more Dean than usual– lots of jokes, lots of smothering, and a thousand cocky smiles.

Sam said something was wrong, and Anna believed him implicitly.

The night drew on, darker and cooler. The stars winked at them. Sam did his math homework with a flashlight in his left hand and a toddler half-asleep against his ribs.

When his page was full of eraser shavings and sure things, he put it all aside and pulled Anna into his lap.

"Back," Anna said sleepily. "Back doon?"

"Hopefully," Sam told her.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Dad will be back soon."

Anna's frown went deep, and she put a little hand against Sam's face. "Dam dad."

Normally Sam would have laughed at that, taking the opportunity to pretend she was dissing John. But he knew what she was really saying. "Yeah, Sam's sad," he admitted and hoped she wouldn't remember this ten or twenty years from now. "Sam's really sad, Anna."

"It okay," Anna told him. And Sam's heart nearly broke when she imitated one of Dean's cocky smiles. The confidence and swagger looked all wrong on such a small face. Baby fat and grown up lies all mashed together.

"I think I just need to be sad right now, Ladybug," he told her. "I don't need you to fix it, okay?"

"Fid it, ok?" Anna repeated. She was looking expressively at him, but Sam didn't have the mental or emotional fortitude to even try to understand it.

"Okay," he said instead. He leaned his head back against the bench seat and felt exhaustion sweep over him. A few years ago, he'd have gone to sleep. It was easier than wading chest-deep in anxiety for hours. But with Anna here, he didn't have that luxury anymore.

"Dammy. Dad?"

Sam closed his eyes tightly and fought the urge to scream or cry or punch something. He was too fucking tired to answer his sister the right way. "No," he lied instead. "I'm not sad, Anna. Okay?" He didn't open his eyes, didn't lift his head. And he realized before she did that he was acting like their father.

"Mad," Anna spoke with certainty this time. No curiosity, no trepidation. "Dowwy, Dam."

"No, it's-" Sam's head came up off the seatback, and he sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Anna," he told her and held her little hands in his big, clumsy ones. "What should we do while we wait?" he asked with false cheer, hoping to undo his mistakes before they had time to settle in.

"Dam pick!" Anna exclaimed joyfully, bouncing twice in his lap.

Except Sam didn't feel like playing. So coming up with a game to distract his little sister wasn't going to be the special treat she thought it was. Still, he smiled at the knowledge that she was intending kindness. "Okay!" he agreed readily, eyes full of happy energy that he didn't feel. "How about... constellations. You wanna look at the stars?"