I'm really not the Saviour! (我唔係救主囖!) [danmei/BL xuanhuan]

58 - Time to get going

A/N: Okay, okay, ONE more chapter after this, and then the epilogue. Honestly this time.

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It was night at the Chan home. A night like one before, years ago, when two young men had swept in and flipped the place on its head.
Like last time, most of the household was awake, lying in bed unable to sleep. Chan Bik and her mother lay together, Wai-Wai stroking her daughter's hair. The young woman had finally drifted off to sleep.
Gaam Yuk Ying and Yuen Muk sat together on the roof of the building they had stayed in last time, looking up at the sky.
The sky was vast and sprinkled with stars, the great misty curve of the River of Heaven arcing above them.
"Should I tell you to come with me?" Gaam Yuk Ying asked, voice low.
"Should I ask you to stay?" Yuen Muk replied, with forced cheeriness.
Their hands gripped each other's as they looked to the sky.
"Look after yourself."
"You too."
"It'll be over before you know it. I'll find them and get them settled and come to find you."
"Good."
"You don't believe me, do you?"
"I don't know."
"I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"... You're right. I've chosen to do this. I just wish... I could have it both ways."

Slowly, Gaam Yuk Ying leaned his weight against Yuen Muk, who closed his eyes.
"You're my most precious person," Gaam Yuk Ying said softly.

A startled chuckle slipped from Yuen Muk's lips. "You only become honest at times like this, huh?"

"... Could you not tell, before?"

"No. I knew." He let his head drop onto Gaam Yuk Ying's, and sighed deeply. "Your most precious person, huh? That's a great honour."

The chill in the air told them winter was well on its way. The trees in the courtyard were shaking free the last of their leaves.

"Are you sure you don't want to see your family before you leave? Even to just call them all dogs?"

"That's an insult to dogs."

"What did they do to you, Yuk Ying?"

A shrug.

Yuen Muk jabbed his fingers into Gaam Yuk Ying's ribs. With a yelp, the latter rolled away and almost off the roof, pursued mercilessly by Yuen Muk and tickles. After messing around for several minutes, they collapsed flat on the roof, bodies overlapped, panting, the stars reflected in their eyes.

"... Well?"

Gaam Yuk Ying rolled over and buried his face into Yuen Muk's broad chest, breathing deep. "They never... made me bleed."

"But they hit you."

"Sometimes."

"For what?"

"Being in the way. Looking at them. Existing, I guess."

"Did they really blame you for your older sibling's death?"

"I think so. My... my mother would go into his room, they kept it just as it was the day he died, and hold his clothes and cry and then she would come out and hit me or just stare like she was going to break my head open, or-"

"Shh... Shh... Okay, breathe."

"My... my father... always... disappointment. He always looked... If he ever looked at me... Always..."

"Okay, I understand. Let's not go."

"I had a ... I had a delusion."

"You? Delusions?"

"That maybe... once the fighting was over I would go home and show them I wasn't a disappointment and... and I know... they would still be the same."

"You're not a disappointment, Yuk Ying."