JAHANI.
"But you love her so why you tripping on it? You do right?" Slim smacked on the Chex Mix in his grasp.
"I mean, yeah that's mine but-" Even if the feelings I had for Nova were evident, how in the hell was I suppose to express that to her?
"She's not your damn property, my guy." Money inquired.
"I know, that's my baby but, like, what if I'm not ready to jump into that kind of commitment." I suppose I fear the love that I've never received.
"Uh, it might be a little late for all of that...you in too deep." Holding my head in my hands. "You got that girl wrapped around your finger now, and you ain't even hit like that."
"So he gotta hit it to love her?" Money twisted his face up as I heard them going back and forth. Looking down at my ringing phone to see it'd been Nova, allowing it to ring through.
"What you trying to do, Jahani?" Slim looked back in my face as I shrugged my shoulders. This wasn't as easy as everyone made it seem. Putting a hundred in a relationship when I didn't feel like I had it to give. Emotionally, I was dragging around baggage that I haven't even let Nova in on. Running a hand down my face and licking over my lips.
"I don't know, man. But I gotta go check up on Ducky," Clearing my throat and lifting from the couch of Money's living room.
Heading outside to get into the air conditioning of my car, starting up the car and making my way towards the home that they had Ducky staying in. They'd been an older couple with a nice home in the suburbs, not having a problem with me coming to visit him when I was able. They had two other adopted kids, while fostering Aoki.
"Jahani, I didn't know you were coming." Margaret smiled, rubbing my shoulders and allowing me to step inside of the house.
"Yeah, sorry I didn't call in advance."
"It's fine, Tim and Ducky are out back." She smiled before going off into the kitchen. Following her directions towards the back of the home out of two French doors, Ducky had his back towards me as he'd been tossing a ball with Tim in the yard.
The football stumbled around my feet,"Jah!" Ducky wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"You getting taller on me?" I chuckled, running my hand through his hair.
"Probably, I'm going to be six foot, no doubt," I playfully sucked my teeth.
"But you always gon be a little bit." He nudged me as I smirked. "You doing good?" Ducky quietly nodded.
"Hey Jahani," Tim came to shake my hand."Everything going well?"
"Yes sir," Margaret came out of the house with a tray of food and glasses of lemonade.
"Thanks." Ducky and I spoke in unison, sitting down on the wicker chairs beside Ducky.
"Jahani," Margaret widely smiled before plopping in the seat beside me, her body facing mine."I'm actually glad you came by today, because Tim and I've been talking...we were thinking to adopt Aoki."
"Yes, we enjoy having him around the house and he's definitely a great addition to the family." My chest tightened and I blankly stared at the ground.
"Of course we wanted to include you on our decision, we'd allow you to continue visiting Jahani."
Furrowing my eyebrows,"But he just got here. This was all supposed to be temporary."
"Uh, yes originally but we know that it-"
"I don't feel comfortable with you guys adopting him, you even run it by Ducky?" I turned to him, studying the side of his face.
"It may be what's best, Jahani." Scoffing at the words leaving Ducky's mouth. What were they feeding him? "I like Margaret and Tim, they're nice, I go to a good school and have-"
"You met these people less than a month ago and you wanna just start calling them family, like that hm? All I've done for us, Ducky?"
"Jahani, we don't want you to feel like we're taking your brother away from you. It's just that we've brought him into our home and we feel like-"
"You're entitled to help the black kids and white wash them," I glared coldly at the couple.
"No! We don't want to pull Aoki away from his roots, you're more than welcome to stay apart of his life." Stifling a laugh as I shook my head.
"I'm not allowing you to adopt him."
"It's not even your decision, you wanted better for me than you this is it! I don't wanna go back to the hood and living with people where selling drugs is their profession, our Mom is a crackhead! I'm not going to even see college living from that place, living in the projects with all that gang affiliation. I'm well aware of my surroundings even if you want to blind me of the truth going on." Ducky's face was red as tears rushed down his cheeks, hiccuping from the sobbing. Without a mutter of a word I lifted from the wicker chair and made my way out of the home.
My thoughts intervened with everything that just took place. To think of losing the only family I had didn't set well with me. Glancing down at my phone ringing in the passenger seat it had been Nova, ignoring it again. I couldn't help but think of where her head was going probably mad at me by now.
I knew that moves had to be made and quick if I didn't want to lose Ducky.
