SLIM.
I really fucked up. Jahani once again sent me to voicemail. Knowing that what I said about Nova was wrong and I didn't even have ill feelings towards her, she was like another little sister to me. But I will admit Jahani and I have fallen off since she's been around. I was so used to it always being just us, has been since third grade. He don't even realize all that I'm going through partially because I don't make it known, not wanting to burden him. He's going to go off to college and it's not going to be the same, I missed the hell out of my best friend.
"Nathaniel Jesus Lorenz, open this goddamn door!" Moma racked her fist against the door with gritted teeth, cringing at my government before unlocking the front door. She was always forgetting to grab her house keys, mugging me while rushing Emerson inside of the house. Mumbling something in Spanish under her breath as she locked and bolted the doors back. Inhaling sharply before cutting her eyes back at me.
Emerson staggered her way down the hallway to her room,"What in the hell is wrong with you?" She smacked me in the back of my head causing me to hiss.
"Ma, what you talking about?" I rubbed the back of my neck and rolled my eyes down at her as she slammed her knock off Coach bag on the arm of the leather sofa. She wouldn't let me cop her the real thing.
"You, I work sixteen hours every fuckin' day, Nathaniel. When I ask you to do me one thing, one simple thing as pick your little sister up from her friend's house you can't even do that!" With everything that's been going on my mind was far from my responsibilities as the man of the house.
My Pops was locked up on murder and drug charges. He's been in solitary confinement since I was seven. With him gone and my Mom always working her ass off to make sure that we were set made a lot of responsibilities fall on my shoulders. Partially one of the reasons I began slanging. When I saw all of the bills racking up and how my Mom couldn't keep up with it working her factory job along with putting herself through school to become a CNA. I took the stress off of her as much as possible with helping with the bills, Emerson and making sure we were comfortable. Mom didn't agree with it at all especially because I was twelve when I first got involved. While everyone else was playing outside and sitting in front of the television I was standing on the corner supplying the coke feens.
"Sorry, I forgot about that." I mumbled while she shook her head pulling out leftovers from the fridge and looking up at me with slit eyes.
"You talk to Monique," Ma picked at the cold chicken before setting it in the microwave.
Monique was now five months along, when we did the paternity test and I got the news back that it was my kid the feelings were definitely conflicted. Knowing that I didn't want to bring a child into a broken home but wasn't going to deny or slip away from my responsibilities. If I was grown enough to lay down with Mo, I was going to be grown enough to raise our kid. Even if I wasn't going to go back with her on anything romantic, we both agreed on that.
"She has an appointment on Thursday, and she's doing good." Moma smiled softy and began eating her rice. "I'm also looking at places so I can get outta ya hair." Even if my name was on the mortgage for this house it still belonged to my Mom and Emerson.
"Nathaniel, you know I said you could stay here besides with me always at work I don't always want to rely on babysitters or India to care for E." Nodding slowly as I scratched the back of my neck. Tempted to tell her the trouble that I got myself into, but I didn't want her stressing more than she already was.
If it's one relationship I valued it was the one with my mother. I'm a Momma' boy and we've always have had a good relationship. "Its Slim, Ma." She rolled her eyes and mocked me.
"On your birth certificate it says: Nathaniel Jesus Lorenz. So that's what the hell imma call ya, even if you look so much like your Papa, Lil Santiago." She grinned but the pain behind her eyes was evident. My Mom and Pops were still married and every month she went down there to visit him in prison, knowing that he had another fifteen in the pen didn't set well with anybody in the family. Emerson' only seen him behind the glass divider.
