NOVA.
After a long shift at work I took myself across town to check on India. If I knew anything about her it's that she didn't handle emotions well, she masked them until it nearly destroyed her which wasn't healthy for her or Slim. It was dark and cold outside as I pulled my olive parka closer to me but the cold Michigan wind didn't cease. I unlocked the faded mint door to India's apartment to be greeted by the poetic voice of Ms. Lauryn Hill blaring through the speakers and India balancing herself on the edge of her taupe sofa to hang an art piece above it.
"Is this straight?" She jumped off of the sofa and stepped back, tilting her head. Closing the door behind me before kicking my shoes off on the mat that read: Welcome To The Jungle. The portrait had been painted completely of blue paints and a sobbing woman.
"What happened to the portrait before?" I set my bag on the coffee table and crossed my arms over my chest.
"I just decided to switch it up. Change is good and the key to fulfillment or something like that..." India breathed in deeply.
"Well how've you been?"
"How you think Novs?" Quirking an eyebrow at her rudeness. "Sorry." She spoke softer making me sit on the edge of the couch.
Nodding slowly,"You know I'm always here if you need anything, love." She nodded while chewing on her lips, her toes playing in the fluffy rug. Noticing the tears that'd been streaming down her cheeks and attempting to hug her before wiping her face, exhaling sharply.
"I-I...Nathaniel talked about doing it and what was going on but he's always got a temper, I just assumed it was the same thing. He's such a good person showed me all of his vulnerability that this person that's reflected in the media isn't the one that I love. Not knowing the outcome of things scares me, it's just like when things go good it's always a storm waiting to come." It was obvious just how hard India and Slim had been falling for another the last thing I expected from either one of them. India being fearful of putting herself in a relationship the way things ended with her last and Slim' fear of commitment. Who would've thought the two would be each other's soulmates? That was putting things lightly.
"Just can't believe his ass was dumb enough to go through with it. I understand that survival of the fittest shit but it's just like something isn't settling with me, Novs. Who knows the outcome of this?" For the rest of the night we vented to one another and I hadn't realized what was all on my conscience before letting it go.
"It's getting late-" My yawn cut me off. "I need to get back home before I've got Hani worried." India tiredly nodded finishing off the tea in her mug while I lifted off of the sofa. Hearing her loud gasp made me halt in my movements.
"Novs you're bleeding!" She staggered to her feet because she was so frightened. What India said didn't register until I looked back at the couch seeing the large blood stain and the one on the crouch of my jeans. My heart racing like a junkies as I rushed towards the bathroom, yanking down my pants with blurry vision. Words couldn't even be formed together I'd been choked up on hysteria. "We need to get you to the hospital, love." India's voice cracked as she'd been sobbing just as hard as I'd been. Tears rushed down my cheeks as my whole body felt numb while glancing down at my blood soaked undies.
Everything was in motion but I wasn't, the literal empty feeling and my emotions made of glass waiting to shatter at any moment. My child was gone. To think of that being my current reality infuriated me. How could God give you something so magical and beautiful then just take it away as fast as you received it? "Jahani is on his way up." India spoke softly while I didn't even pull my eyes away from the window. There hadn't even been anything to look at since it was so dark but I didn't budge. She stroked my hand lightly while I remained silent as a mute person.
The door pushed open and Jahani' baritone voice filled the room while I kept my focus out of the large windows. Sparing a glance down at my arm hooked up to the IVs,"Baby?" Not even budging when he called my name. I felt the emotion taking its toll again when a stray tear rolled down my cheek.
Jahani came around the bed so he was standing in front of me, my eyes falling to the writing on his shirt getting lost in the design, font and color. Furrowing my eyebrows when his bent index finger wiped away the tears I didn't realize that fell.
"They said if you were, um, ready to leave you can go." His voice cracked making me look up at the tears in his eyes. How could I lose our child?
Silently I zipped my jacket all the way up to my neck before dragging myself out of the hospital room. Leaving Jahani to handle the last of things and made my way to the parking garage with India silently beside me. I could tell there was something she wanted to say but I silently hoped she didn't. Sitting in the passenger seat with the door open and glaring down at the oil stained concrete, the screech of tires and sirens in the distance.
When the car started up I glanced over my shoulder at Jahani before correctly sitting in the seat. At least we didn't really tell anybody about the baby. Nibbling on my lips as tears continued to stream down my face, the feel of Jahani grabbing my hand made me breath in deeply. I hope this wouldn't change much between us because all I had was love for him.
Jahani parked behind Nana's car,"Fuck." I rolled my eyes and Jahani glanced over to me, lifting up his Invisalign on his bottom teeth.
"You good?" I nodded slowly before opening the door to get out and walk inside of the house. Nana jumped off of the sofa holding her chest.
"Where were you? You didn't get my calls?" Patting my pockets realizing that I didn't have my phone. She glanced down at my wrist seeing the hospital band,"Everything alright?"
"Yes, I'm just tired and I must've left my phone with India." Nana mumbled something to Jahani making me sigh heavily a I walked into my bedroom kicking off the hospital provided sweats and trading them for a pair of boxers along with my tank top.
"You staying?" I asked when he stepped into the bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.
"For the night. I'll just leave early in the morning." Nodding before pulling back the comforter. His arms securely wrapped around me as I exhaled sharply against his bare chest. "I'm sorry." He pulled away from me slightly so he was looking down at me.
"It's not your fault don't blame yourself for this, hear me? You didn't purposely kill our child Novs...it's just not our time right now and we're going to figure things out..." His voice grew heavier and slower while my eyes got even heavier.
"I love you." I cut him off making him smile before kissing my forehead and allowing me to sleep to him saying it back.
