Code Blue

~ Chapter 69 ~

Chapter 69
Friday December 8th
Harry's POV

"Moana and......" Stevie sing songed as her pale hands flipped over another one of the princess memory cards, cheerfully exclaiming her win in advance. "Moana!"

I tried not to let my heart break as I watched her face etch into confusion and disappointment, turning over the card she was confident was Moana, when in reality it was Cinderella. She was so sure of herself, thinking that she was going to get another match without fail, but she had remembered the placement wrong.

"Oh" Stevie frowned sadly, regrettably putting both cards back down in their spaces, resetting the game for my turn.

"It's okay lovebug" I assured her, hating that it was so hard to watch. Stevie has always excelled at this game, even when she was younger, and I was always so proud of her for having a good memory. She would always surprise me with her skills to remember the locations of different princesses, and many times she beat me earnestly when I wasn't trying to let her win. However, the chemotherapy significantly messes with her memory and the game always is harder on her overworked mind in times like this. She still always asks me to play it, because it's one of our favorite bonding activities, but it upsets both of us when she can't perform as well.

"But I wanted Moana" Stevie sighed as I went ahead and did my turn, purposely flipping over two cards I knew weren't matches. Times like these, I let my little girl win. It's the least that I could do for her.

"You'll try again on the next one" I tried to cheer her up, looking at my stack of cards compared to hers. We were about tied right now, so I just needed to remember where the characters were so I could purposely lose, rather than try to gain them.

"Okay..." Stevie said warily, looking at the face down cards. I could visibly see the gears turning in her head as she tried to remember where Moana was at. Her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth as she took time to think about it, not rushing herself by any means. I waited patiently, letting her debate it on her own terms until she wanted to ask me for help. I knew where the moana cards were, and it was taking everything in me to refrain from telling her, but I didn't want her to feel helpless. Chemo and cancer already takes away so much of her independence that kids her age are wanting, and I had to give her opportunities.

She went ahead and flipped over two cards, her shoulders slumping with a disgruntled sigh when she was wrong again. Staring up at us was the same Cinderella card she just turned over, a harsh reminder to my system that her short term memory was barely holding on. Any other time, she would have never flipped the same card over, especially when it was wrong.

"I can't do it" Stevie sniffled, sounding defeated within herself.

"Sunshine, you can do it" I encouraged, not liking the self doubt for a second. It's difficult as a parent to watch your child feel they can't accomplish something, when you feel with every fiber of yourself that they're capable of anything. I know that Stevie can play the game, she just needs some extra chances in this difficult phase of her life.

"I keep messing up" Stevie remarked with a small whine, looking at the cards like they were eating her alive inside. She felt like they were failing her.

"Sometimes we mess up, but that's why we try again" I reminded her softly, not wanting her to give up completely. She loves this game, and I would hate for her to grow tired of it because of this, although I would completely understand. It has to be frustrating to not fully understand why something you were once so good at is now more challenging, and she's only four years old. "It's okay to mess up sometimes"

"Even as a doctor?" Stevie tilted her head and looked at me, wondering about my profession.

"Well, even doctors mess up sometimes" I answered her question, although I wasn't speaking about myself. I simply don't mess up. A lot of these other doctors here think that's acceptable behavior, but I don't subject my patients to such incompetence.