Holding On

Chapter 38 - The Beginning

Hunter's POV

I had barely gotten any sleep last night. My mind kept reeling about the possible turnout of my decision. Even with Courtney wrapped in my arms, I couldn't relax enough to let sleep take me. Images and events kept flying through my mind with no slowing down in sight.

I decided to slip out of bed, unable to remain still, causing a soft sigh to escape the sleeping Courtney. I pulled out my phone and looked at it, bringing up the text that I had received that afternoon. The more I thought on it, the more I knew it was familiar, yet it was out of my reach as to why it was.

When I had heard Courtney shift, I quickly put the phone down to hide the light. I didn't want to wake her up. If anything was proven by that afternoon, it would only make her worry more. I waited quietly until she was quiet once again before I slipped over to the door, and headed downstairs.

As I stood in the kitchen moments later, I held the gun in my right hand and the papers in my left. It was as I looked at both of them together that I decided then and there that I wasn't going to hesitate in the slightest to use the weapon in front of me. Courtney was too precious to me to take the chance of not acting fast enough to protect her in any way.

Thinking back on it now, Daniel had been lucky that John was the one holding the gun that night when we had first went into his house. If the gun had been in my hands to begin with, I'm pretty sure I would've shot him right on the spot when I saw that he was pointing a gun at Courtney. However, I also remembered the first time I had lay eyes on Daniel at the mall. Even though Courtney had said that it was all because of memories, I'm pretty sure me beating Daniel up was part of the reason she was so freaked out. With that memory still fresh in my mind, I made another decision.

I won't hesitate to use the gun, but I also won't use it while Courtney had plain sight of it. I never want to be the one who poses in another nightmare of hers at night, or be the one that causes her to fear any more than she does. I would never want that, and I know she wouldn't either. I just pray I can stick to these decisions, for her sake.

Putting the gun and papers back into the drawer, I closed it softly and made my way out of the kitchen. Getting some thoughts under control had seemed to help me a bit, and I headed back upstairs to my bedroom. Slipping in the room, I shut the door the way Courtney liked it, and carefully went over to the bed. She was still asleep, and I crawled under the covers, drawing her close to my body.

The morning, however, I come much too quickly for me. I even woke up before Courtney had, seeing the faint morning light as it crept in through the thin curtains. I looked down at her as she slept, seeing that she had turned to face me in my arms, cuddling close to me. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as she dreamed, her lips moving now and then.

I smiled softly at the sight, afraid of moving incase I woke her up. I found that she had a hold of my shirt, as if she was keeping herself from falling. I gently moved my finger where they laid against her back, feeling my arm numb beneath her small frame.

As my fingers shifted against the soft skin they found under the hem of her shirt, she murmured something that I couldn't understand, shifting slightly more into me. I held back a chuckle as I let my hand rest against the curve of her back. This is what made everything worth it to me: waking up with her in my arms, and seeing the serene look on her features as she slept.

I wasn't sure just how much time had passes, or when exactly I had closed my eyes yet again, but I opened them once more when I felt Courtney move. She drew a deep breath through her nose, and I watched as her blue orbs blinked open and peered at me through a sleepy haze.

She smiled and stretched slightly, though refusing to move very much. "Good morning," she murmured softly, shutting her eyes again. I smiled and pressed my lips softly to her forehead, feeling her hand make its way softly to the side of my neck. I kept my lips inches from her skin as I drew back. "Good morning to you too," I said softly and looked down at her. "Did you sleep well?"