White Noise-BVB A.U. (Book 3)

Chapter 14

Andy's POV
-------------------
A few days later the doctors released me from the hospital, saying the incision wound had closed up nicely and I was good to go. I still spent all my time next to Cath exept for when we had to play shows. At the concerts I let out all my anger, all my emotions by screaming and singing our songs. I had to keep a smile on my face due to press and image or whatever.

Today I went to visit Jayden and Beth at Jackie's appartment and Beth asked to go see her mom. I couldn't deny her of it, so I took them.

Beth walked into Cath's room and immediately ran next to her. "Mommy, wake up. Mommy. I need to tell you so much stuff!"

Beth didn't quite understand what was wrong with Cath. This was the first time she was actually in the room with Cath. We had brought her a couple of times when she asked for her mom but she was only allowed to look through the window. Jackie and I had told her Cath was asleep because she was very tired from work and the accident so she needed to rest so her "owies" could heal.

Jayden recognized it was Cath and stretched his tiny arms out while he was in my arms as if reaching for Cath. They didn't understand what was going on, they didn't know--even if I refuse to believe or say it-- that Cath was dying. They don't know what was going on. All they know is that they need their mom. And that's all they want. They want their mom.

Jayden started fuzzing in my arms, mumbling and moving around trying to go with Cath. Tears rolled down my eyea as I tried to calm him.

This is all my fault.

"Mm..." He was getting frustrated now, "Mm! M... Momma!"

I broke down. Jayden's first word. He spoke and his first word was Mom but because of me, Cath couldn't hear it.

I sat down on a chair and sobbed. Jayden had calmed down now. Beth ran over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Daddy, don't cry. Mommy is just asleep. You told me she was just asleep, and when people go to sleep they dream for a little bit them wake up. Dad... When is mommy gonna wake up?"

I tried to contain my crying but I wasn't exactly succeeding. When I didn't answer, Beth kissed my cheek and hugged me again. "I bet mommy is having a long long long dream about us. I can't wait to hear it when she wakes up."

I wrapped my free arm around Beth and brought her and Jayden closer to me. "I love you guys so much."

*****
I had taken the kids back to Jackie and CC's, then went back to the hospital. This was a daily routine for me. The hospital had become my home and now I knew how Cath had been living, how it felt like to work at a hospital almost 24/7.

As I sat there next to Cath I looked at her. I mean I looked closely. I had always liked to look and admire all of Cath's features. And I noticed a few things throughout the years. Like the way she slightly stuck out her toungue in concentration when she was doing something, her toungue would peek out from between her lips. Or the little, almost invisible freckles across the bridge of her nose that I could see when she didn't have any make-up on.

And the way her eyes changed from a dark green to a more hazel or brown according to her mood. Or how when she laughed she scrunched up her nose. Or the time I took her to an All Time Low concert and watched her face light up as she realized where she was. Or the way it felt to have my arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes once again. Crying had become a usual thing for me now. Before I would put up the "I'm the badass with no emotions" wall, but now I couldn't care less. There wasn't a day that I didn't have tear stained, irritated eyes.

I continued to remember little things I had learned about Cath. How she would occasionally laugh when we did anything intimate because according to her she "didn't know how to act sexy". Or how we would tease eachother under the table while at events or parties, even interviews, like we were sex-crazed hormonal teenagers again.

And the first time she taught me how to quiet down Jayden when he was crying. I didn't know what was wrong but as soon as he was in his mom's arms he would be quiet and act like he wasn't just crying a couple seconds before.

And I remembered the time I was at the hospital because I broke my ribs and out of all the doctors in all the hospitals in L.A. she was the one that opened the curtain to my room.

And the time Cath tried to take her own life. I ran into the bathroom and found her half naked, with blood dripping everywhere and pooling around her. I got onto the ambulance with her and I said, "Cath hang in there. Your family needs you. Jackie and CC need you... I need you."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and grabbed Cath's hand. "You can't leave. You have to wake up. You have to be okay. Beth and Jayden... The kids need you. I need you."

Suddenly I felt her lift up a finger. I smiled and looked down, waiting for her to move something again. When she didn't I looked up and saw a tear rolling down her cheek. I smiled and wiped it, knowing things would probably get better from here.

"Its okay baby, you're gonna be okay."
-----------------------------------------------------

Is this shitty? I think its shitty and cheesy but i wanted to update at least something today because i probably wont be able to tomorrow.

Anyways,

Vote Comment & Share!