I Will Try My Best

Ch. 31

There was so much to be said but I had no idea where to start. As I was thinking about what to say Julian spoke up.

"I thought you'd be at the dance."

"I am at the dance... I just... It got a little stuffy in there, that's all."

WHY CAN'T I JUST SAY HOW I FEEL.

"Oh... So that's why you called me? Because it got too stuffy in the dance hall."

He's mad at me. I KNEW IT.

I couldn't stop stuttering. "No... I, uh, I wanted to talk... T-to tell you... uh-"

"I'm a little surprised you called me to be honest."

Maybe this was a mistake. I could hear him outside, cars were honking in the background. He's probably busy.

"Yeah, me too..."

It was silent between us.

"Remember that time you got me a fake ID and took me to my first bar?" I said.

He chuckled. "Yeah, it was the first time I showed you around New York.... The first time the two of us hung out."

"I had a lot of fun that day."

"So did I. We got so drunk. It's probably one of my favorite times with you."

We talked for a while reminiscing about all the good times we had.

"I miss you..." FINALLY, I said it.

"....."

SHIT. DID HE HANG UP. "Hello?"

"Cat... You look beautiful."

His voice was a lot more audible. It was like he was here. I looked up and saw him standing a few feet away from me. He looked amazing. It's been so long, words couldn't explain how happy I felt seeing him. A smile started to creep up on my face. We both hung up. He walked towards me, the closer he got the faster my heart would beat. He took his jacket off and put it over my shoulders.

"It's freezing out." He sat down next to me.

His jacket smelled like him. I love his scent.

"How'd you know I'd be out here?"

He shrugged. "I figured you'd be smoking a cigarette here."

Once again a moment of silence came up. I rested my head on him and he wrapped is arm over my shoulders. This felt right.

"I listened to the song you wrote me today."

"You just listened to that today? I gave that to you a while ago." A chuckle escaped through his mouth. His voice, his laughter, everything about him put me at ease.

"Yeah... I sort of forgot I had it and saw it in my car earlier." I timidly said.

"How'd you like it?"

"I loved it. The music, the lyrics, your voice. It was perfect."

He rested his head on mine and he placed his other hand on my thigh and started to rub it gently.

"Good." He soothed.

I couldn't take it anymore. I raised my head to look at him. His stare sent waves over my body. I grabbed his face and pulled him closer to me and for the first time our lips finally touched. How can I describe that kiss? It was like nothing else in the world. I could tell this was something we both wanted to do for a long time. Our kiss deepened and became more passionate. My body didn't feel cold anymore, his touch warmed me up. I felt his grip on my thigh tightened. I didn't want to stop, in fact, I couldn't like I physically could not stop kissing him. I have no idea how long we sat there making out but it felt like forever. Then he slowly pulled away. Goddammit why did he do that?! I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. I pouted at him.

"You taste like vodka." He teased.

"Funny, I was going to say you tasted like whiskey." We both laughed.

His smile slowly faded away and he looked me in the eyes. The vibe quickly changed.

"Kitty Cat... I want you to know how truly sorry I am. Hurting you was the biggest mistake of my life. It's just that sometimes I'll say the right thing but act the wrong way. I'm a fucking idiot." His tone was serious but sincere. His eyes were sad.

"I know..." I softly said. "Let's just not think about that anymore, okay?"

"Okay." He whispered then he kissed my forehead. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "But first I need to say bye to Steven."

He gave a disgusted look. "Steven." He mumbled.

"I have to tell him besides I'm leaving with you, remember?"

I pulled him in for another kiss. I felt him smiling.

We walked back inside the school. We stopped in front of the entrance of the dance hall. I took off his jacket and handed it back to him along with my clutch.

"Here, hold this, I'll be right back."

I walked inside the dance hall and saw Steven sitting by himself at a table. He looked so sad. Fuck, I'm an asshole. He's been nothing but nice to me and I'm going to leave him alone at the dance. He looked surprised when he saw me walk towards him. He rushed over to me.

"Cat! I thought you left. You were gone for so long."

"Uh... Yeah... About that... Look, Steven I don't know how to say this but-"

"Where have you been?!" Squealed Tiffany.

She grabbed the both of us and dragged us to the dance floor in front of the stage where the DJ and the student body president were standing.

"Quick! They're going to announce the formal court!"

Steven's, mine, Tiffany's and Jake's names were called along with three more couples. I think they were seniors. I reluctantly went on stage with everyone else.  They put crowns and sashes on us. Everyone was staring, I looked at the back to see if Julian was still there. He was, I couldn't help but smile looking at him.

"Wow, this is a Dwight first! Two of the couples are sophomores." She announced.

She was holding a bouquet of flowers and an envelope. She opened the envelope. PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE ME AND STEVEN.

"Aaaand your winter formal king and queen are.... Brian and Sophie!"

Oh thank God it was one of the seniors that won. I quickly got off the stage and pulled Steven with me. When we were far enough from the crowd I stopped.

"Steven... I have to tell you something-"

"That you don't like me?"

I was shocked. "Uh, well yeah but I was actually going to say-"

"That you're leaving with Julian?"

"... Uh, how'd you know?"

"When we were up on stage I saw you smiling at someone I looked in your direction and saw him."

He looked so hurt. Shit, I never meant to do this. He's such a good guy and he's my friend and I broke his heart. I have never felt so bad before in my life.

I grabbed his hand. "I'm so sorry... Really I am. I never meant to do this to you."

He sighed. "I've always known you liked him. I just always hoped that maybe one day you'll want me instead of him."

"I still want to be your friend if you'll have me." I smiled at him.

"Well I guess I don't really have a choice." He joked but I could tell he was still sad.

I kissed him on the cheek and let go of his hand. "Thanks for being my date."

I turned around and walked to Julian. I put his jacket back on and grabbed my clutch from him.

"That took long enough." He joked.

I kissed him again.

"Also, kissing Steven on the cheek? That was unnecessary."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Shut up."

We walked out of the school hand in hand.