Thugs Ain't For Me

46: If I don't have you..

*Thursday*

Bella

I slowly entered back in the house and Stella was sitting right on the couch waiting on my arrival.

"What happened?!" She raced to me with Camden in her arms. I just looked at my baby's face and my heart felt like it was being twisted and squeezed dry.

"You...happened Stella." I say in between sobs.

"Wait what?"

"Omar explained everything that happened and the whole situation revolved around some girl that nobody knew of but I know who that girl is, she's my sister." I walk past her to go in my room and get out this uncomfortable dress. She followed me.

"Bella ain't none of this makin' no sense."

"What's going on with Christian?" My mama decided to join us after she heard me come in.

"He's in the ICU ina coma on a breathing machine. He was shot five times, three in the chest, and two in the head." I explain and they both looked like me when I first heard.

"And he ain't dead?!" Stella asked.

"No Stella he ain't but it's a high chance he could die."

"What happened? You still ain't told me that part yet." Oh I was more than ready too.

"Nick wanted to kill Corey after you stupidly told him that you cheated on him with Corey and things went side ways and Christian the one who ended up ina hospital not Nick not Corey. My boyfriend."

"Oh my God Bella I am so sorry, none of this was my intentions."

"Stella that ain't like you to be just hoping around town with this lil street boys at all!" My mama scolded her.

"Yeah but Bella can bring one home and you just love him so much." She spats.

"Hey! Leave him outta this, he barely alive now because of the lil pathetic thugs you wanna mess with!" I fire back.

"So this is my fault!?"

"Yes Stella in my eyes you are the only one to blame for this!"

"Now Bella you know your sister had no part in this." My mama takes her side lie always.

"No mama I'm used to her choosing boys over her own family, after all she been doing it since she could talk. Look I know you upset at the fact that Christian is fighting for his life right now but blaming me ain't gone cause no miracles." She says and hands me Camden and storms outta my room.

"Bella you really shouldn't blame your sister this is all just a misunderstanding."

"There ain't nothing misunderstanding about it, my boyfriend could die because of the dumb decisions she made, I think we all understand that loud and clear." I end this conversation to go put Camden in his crib. I sat in the chair beside his crib holding my head, trying to figure all this out. Beep. Beep.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey girl I heard about Christian.... I am so sorry." I faintly smile.

"Thanks Mia."

"How you holding up?"

"Just barely......I just don't know what I'ma do if he dies you know?" I started sniffling, feeling the tears coming.

"Can't think like that, I know for a fact he won't leave you okay, my girl I know you stronger than this I mean you put up with Preston's bullshit for how ever long now. I know you can handle this." Mia's words of encouragement wasn't really helping, I mean I appreciate her calling and tryna help but at the end I just wanna have some time to think in silence. "I can tell you ain't ina mood, I'll call you back tomorrow." She reads my mind and disconnects the call. Camden was fast asleep and I ain't wanna wake him, even though I knew I was gone be up all night anyway. I went into the kitchen to get some water, but Stella was hogging the refrigerator so I just quietly waited.

"You want a bottle of water?" She asked after she noticed me leaning against the sink waiting for her to move her ass. I just stood there staring at the refrigerator hoping she could take the hint. "Really Bella, you're gonna ignore me now? Sometimes I swear it don't even seem like you my sister." She spats after slamming the door and storming past me. The time on the microwave read 11:45pm and I was shocked that time moved that quick. I was waiting for a call any moment now telling me that my boyfriend had woken up from his coma but I knew that wasn't gone happen. I sip down the water bottle and sat in the living room. The pain just got worst, sitting in the dark just thinking about what I would do if I get that phone call that he didn't make it. Tears raced down my face, soaking up the rug we had in here.

"Christian you can't leave me now....this is not what's suppose to happened. What about all the dates we were suppose to go on....what about moving from this city and starting our life together...watching Camden grow up....marriage, more kids, it's just....it's just all overwhelming and I can't handle it...Christian please just wake up for me...."

"Bella you need to go to bed, this is not going to help solve anything." My mama appeared from the hallway.

"Leave me alone....because at this point what's going to help, huh?" More tears rushed from my eyes.

"Crying, and feeling sorry for yourself is just going to cause more stress, the only thing that can help him right now is time so please just go get some rest?"

"I will when I'm ready." I tell her and she goes back to her room. I wanted to stay strong for my baby more than anything, so I knew I had to suck it up and just try and have this faith like everybody keeps telling me too. I crawled into my bed and cuddled up with one of the teddy bears he had gotten for me. I hadn't been in bed for five minutes when all of a sudden my face felt like it was melting off and my stomach formed knots. Luckily the bathroom was close enough for me to run to the toilet and vomit. The hell is going on???