Thugs Ain't For Me

51: The Funeral and The Son

*Monday*

Bella

"Bella are you wearing those gray Jessica Simpson Reptile pumps?!" Stella asks me for the hundredth time from her room.

"If I tell you yes again I am going to slap you!" I respond. She been tryna get me to change my mind all morning now and I ain't having it because it matches my dress. "Wear the gold ones!" I tell her and she comes to my room door with a annoyed look on her face.

"Does it look like gold goes with this dress, and aren't you suppose to be wearing black?"

"Gray is a sad color too so what's the difference?"

"I'll just wear some flats." She settles and goes back to her room. I was all set now, my hair and makeup was done, had my clothes on...now it was just time to go.

"Mama is he ready?" She held up my little prince, showing me his outfit. I bought him a little tux to wear today and he was killing it. "Awwww only a month old and looks like a king." I grab him.

"Are you ready is the question?" She asks me.

"Mentally no, but I'm dressed and ready to head out so let's go before we're late." I press.

They had Christian looking so fine in his casket. I didn't even start crying when I walked into the funeral home. I was the first to go see him after the service was over. Everybody watched me as I stood in front of his casket, it's like I could feel every body just staring at the back of my head. It was at least over a hundred people here, mostly family but alot of friends. It was a really big church, they had a cafeteria area upstairs which is where every body going after service.

"Rest in Heaven, baby." I gently placed a soft kiss on his forehead. I couldn't walk away even after I said goodbye, I just kept staring hoping he'll just open his eyes and wake up, finally a person of the church came to me and told me that everybody upstairs eating. I hadn't even realized that I was the last one standing around the casket saying goodbye. I finally let go of his hand and followed the lady up the stairs. People had already found seats and starting chatting. I spotted Marianne sitting with her daughters and nephews. She waved for me to join them.

"This is who I was telling y'all about, her name is Bella." She introduced me to the table, I just smiled and waved.

"So you're the lucky girl my brother wouldn't stop talking about?" One of his sisters asked.

"He talked about me?" I asked.

"Yeah....when he did talk to me." I saw emotions run through her eyes.

"He never told me he had sisters."

"He...hardly talks to us, we're his half sisters. Different fathers so he never considered us his sisters, we had alot of drama growing up with different parents....and now it's to late for me to even tell him how much he meant to me."

"I'm sorry...that's sad but I'm sure he knew." I tried comforting her with my words.

"Mama I still can't believe she showed up." The girl turned her attention to a short, very light complected girl. "Her nerves right?"

"She lucky this is my son's funeral because lord knows that if it wasn't, I would show out." Marianne responded.

"Wait...what's going on?" My curiosity got the best of me.

"Her...over there, that's Nicole....Christian baby momma....and standing next to her is his son that she ran off with." Marianne explained. I was in shock that she showed up too, I guess she must of heard about his death on the news or something. I hadn't even seen her until now, something just went through me after I saw her.....like Christian's spirit was just possessing me and forcing me to confront her.

"I'm going over there." I say.

"No. You shouldn't." Marianne grabbed me. "What exactly can you say to her?"

"Alot." I broke free of her grip and strolled over to her. "Excuse me?" I tapped her shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Are you Nicole?"

"Yes I am, who wants to know?"

"I want to know what you're doing here?" I tried to keep polite but I could feel the blood running through my veins starting to boil.

"Excuse me but I think I have more rights to be here than you do." She sasses.

"You don't have no rights, you think it's right to just take Christian's only child away from him for years and then just come gliding through his funeral like he would of wanted you here?" My voice started to pick up more volume before I could catch my words and everybody gave us their attention.

"What I did is none of yo business, who are you anyways?" She grabs her son's hand and he just stares back and forth between the both of us.

"I'm Bella, Christian's girlfriend."

"Well Ms. Christian's girlfriend, my son has every right to be at his father's funeral, now I'm sorry that this may be hard for you right now but you are completely out of line coming at me like this. Now if you'll excuse me..." She tries walking past me but I push her back.

"NO! You are out of line for doing what you did! You think just because you show up to the funeral God is going to forgive you for separating a child from their parent?! Well you wrong it ain't nothing you can do now to make up for that because he's dead! He's dead and this little boy will never get to know his father because of you! Whatever Christian did it wasn't worth keeping him from his only child!-" I warm hand looped around my arm and I was hauled away from the short girl while she stood there clenching her jaw. "Oh my God, Marianne I don't know what got into me, I am so sorry." I calm down after I realized that everybody was eyeing me and shaking their heads.

"Shhh it's okay, somebody had to tell her off." Marianne smiled and hugged me.

"But it wasn't my place....I should probably go." I break out of her hug and look for my mama and Stella. Luckily they weren't up here when the whole thing sort of went down. "I am so embarrassed." I say putting on my seat belt as my mama started the car.

"From the sounds of it, you should be but that was just all that anger that you had bottled up." My mama presumed.

"Yeah and plus what she did was wrong and she deserved to hear every last thing of what you said." Stella added.

"She did but not from me, it wasn't my place. You should of seen the look on the little boy face, it was like he knew what I was saying....like he knew he was never gone get to meet his daddy."

"How old is he?"

"I think Marianne said he was three, that poor little boy." I just kept shaking my head. "But honestly, ain't I just as guilty as she is?" I turn to my mama.

"What you mean?"

"The situation is sort of similar to mines and Prestons." I admit.

"Absolutely not! Preston is choosing not see his own son, Christian ain't have no choice, she took his son hours away with no word or nothing." Stella defended.

"I seen Preston like last Saturday and Camden was with me...."

"Preston finally saw his baby?" My mama widen her eyes to indicate how shocked she was.

"Yhup. He even proposed a plan so he could see him more often but I argued with him that I didn't need him too and he got all mad and stormed off so I don't know if he'll ever see Cam again but I was just going through alot I didn't really mean I ain't want him to see his son."

"Well the only thing I can say Bella is that you need to talk to him, like both of y'all are adults now and for the sake of that baby y'all has got to learn to sit down and have a civil conversation." I knew she was right, last thing I want is for my child to grow up hating me because I couldn't mature myself so he could have a relationship with his father. I wasn't going to kiss his ass either, we was gone have to come up with some agreement and he was gone have to stick to it. I don't need anymore stress tryna deal with Preston and his bullshit.