Purplephone One Shots

Awful AU #1

<< The prompts I get from the Awful AU blog on Tumblr tend to be really long, so I'll number them and include the prompt down here! >>

<< "You're in the middle of robbing my bar, but the joke's on you because it's five in the afternoon and I haven't even had a customer yet. Also, you're holding your gun wrong... do you even know what you're doing?" AU >>

I was wiping down the counter (meticulously, for the twelfth time in the past five minutes) of the bar when somebody finally walked in. Thank god. He was short, with long purple hair, and was... surprisingly, extremely handsome.

"Welcome in." I smiled. My first customer all day. "What can I get for you?"

"A tonic and gin and..." He fumbled with a bag at his side for a second before pulling out a gun. "... all the money in the cash register!"

I honestly didn't know how to respond. Not from the shock of the robbery, but because this guy had absolutely no clue what he was doing. He was holding the gun with his hands clasped around the cylinder of the gun in such a manner that the muzzle was pointing at his feet. His hands were shaky, his eyes not intimidating in the slightest.

"... might wanna hold that gun the right way first, pal." I flipped the gun around for him. "And I have, like, ten dollars in here. And a few quarters. You're my first customer all day."

He paused and put the gun in the bag. "Well, now I just feel stupid..."

"Hey, I'll tell you what." I slapped a five dollar bill down onto the bar. "You're pretty entertaining, and you're kinda cute too. Go ahead and take it."

He pocketed the money swiftly.

"Still want that tonic and gin?"

"Sure."

"Okay, it'll be five dollars."