Just Friends

Part 11: When he tries to leave

I sat in the waiting room. I prayed that they would say I could see him soon. I tried to force myself to breath normally. My chest hurt like I had been stabbed. Every breath hurt like someone was twisting the knife. The only person who could help me was almost dead. So I tried the second best.

She answered on the third ring. "Hello Daniel. How have you been love?"

I wheezed. "Sorry. I'm having a panic attack, I think."

"Oh my God! Dan what happened?"

I took as deep of a breath as I could. "Phil tried to... Phil tried... Phil...." My breathing became too ragged to speak.

Louise sounded panicked. "What did Phil try to do?" She paused. "Daniel fucking Howell answer me."

"He...He tried to kill himself." I finally gasped out.

"Dan! That's horrible..." She sounded as though she was in that daze like right after someone slaps you. "I'm coming right now. I'm not going to leave you by yourself." The line went dead.

I felt vomit rising in my throat. My head ached. My chest burned with hot sharp pain. I felt like I was dying. I got up and went to the bathroom on shaky legs. I vomited and felt marginally better. I splashed water on my face. It woke me up a little. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a wreck. My face was red and was wet from tears. I turned and sat back down in the hard plastic chair.

A blonde young woman burst through the doors. "Dan! Have you heard how he is? How are you? You were having a panic attack right?"

I took a deep breath. "The last I heard they were draining his stomach. I'm better, probably still in shock."

She sat down and took my hand. "Why did he do it? Phil's such a happy person."

"I don't knowwwww." I said and burst into tears. "I was at the supermarket and he called me and he was crying. I tried to talk him out of it. He kept saying how he hated himself. I ran back to the flat and I found him." I looked at her. "If he dies he's not going alone. So much of me is him. People always say how we're the same person. But we really are. I need him Lou."

She patted me hand. "He's going to be fine. I can feel it."

"Phillip Lester?" The nurse said in a bored voice. Louise and I sprang from our seats. "You folks can go see him now."

We walked along twisting corridor. She opened a door and gestured us in. Phil was propped up in the bed. He looked very pale. He was attached to about a billion different machines. He was alive though. That was enough.

He didn't wake up that night. Louise and I camped out in his room. She fell asleep after a couple of hours. I stayed by Phil's side. I never went to sleep. I just sat by him and hoped that he'd be okay.