Just Friends

Part 24: When a friend is lost

It all started with a phone call.

The morning was the first cold day of fall and you could feel the change in the air. It was subtle at first but grew stronger. I was cleaning the flat, Phil had gone out.

My phone rang. It was eleven am. It was PJ. "Hello?"

"It's Chris." He replied with a sob.

"Oh my God. PJ what happened?" My heart was beating too fast. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears. I imagined the worst. "Is he okay?"

"No." He sounded frantic. "Can you come? I'll text the address." He hung up abruptly.

I got a text a second later. I grabbed my keys and flew out of the flat. What happened? PJ had given me the address to a hospital. He had sounded shell shocked and miserable. I started panicking.

"Taxi!" I screamed. A cab pulled over and let me in. I arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later. I bit my fingernails until they the blood dripped down my hand. My breath came in fast and laboured. He could be fine, Dan. PJ sometimes overreacts. I tossed the cabby some notes and ran inside. I scanned the waiting room. I saw PJ. He looked horrible. He was curled up and sobbing loudly. Please let Chris be okay. Please.

I ran to him. "PJ what happened? Where's Chris?"

PJ looked at me with tears streaming down his face. He looked like he'd never be happy again. "He's dead."

I slumped into a chair. I was shocked. Chris was dead. I felt myself start to cry. No Dan. PJ needs you. I wrapped my arms around him. He embraced me tightly and just sobbed. We just sat there like that for hours. PJ in my arms, and both of us sobbing out hearts out. He was one of my best friends. I would never be able to replace him.

After a while we both ran out of tears. "You're staying the night at my flat." I said firmly. He nodded. I almost carried him out of the hospital. We got in a cab and headed home. Phil still didn't know.

I unlocked the door. "Let me make you some tea."

PJ sat down at the table. "I was going to propose."

I turned away from him so he wouldn't see the stray tear run down my cheek. "You were?"

"Yeah." His voice was thick with emotion. "We could have gotten married and had kids. He was the one Dan. The one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love him so much." PJ smacked his head down on the table and started crying again.

"I'm so sorry." My voice cracked.

Phil popped his head in the kitchen. "Hey beautiful. Oh hi PJ." He looked at our tear stained faces. "What's wrong? Did somebody die?" He asked with a concerned smile.

I took his hand and pushed him out of the room. "Phil can I talk to you?"

"Yeah sure. Why are you crying?" He asked in confusion.

I sat him down in the computer room. "Phil, ummm. Chris is dead." Every time I said that it hurt more.

Phil looked at me with a grin. "This is a joke, right? Where's the camera Dan? Your acting has gotten better."

"No Phil. Chris is dead." A bullet would hurt less than those words.

He stared at the wall without seeing it. "What? He's dead? How? What?" Tears streamed down his cheeks. I wiped his tears away with my thumbs. Phil grabbed me like a life preserver. He hugged me tightly as he sobbed.

I said into his hair, "I don't know how. PJ is completely devastated. He's staying the night. I don't want him to go back to an empty flat. I'm scared for him Phil. Chris is dead. What's to keep him from just jumping off a bridge?" My eyes filled again.

Phil sobbed quietly without letting go of me. I pressed a kiss onto his creased forehead. "I miss him already."

"Me too."

Chris. He fucked us all up so much.