Just Friends

Part 10: When the sky explodes

It had been a month since Phil remembered. We were still together and I was floating on my happiness. I was out grocery shopping on this particular morning. Everything seemed normal. I added some maltesers to the shopping cart.

My phone rang. It was Phil. "Hello?"

I heard a sob from the other end. "Dan? My dad came by the flat."

I felt my stomach twist. "Are you okay Phil? What happened?"

He sobbed into the phone. "We were arguing and he just collapsed. I called 999, but he was dead." Phil sobbed. "This is all my fault. If it wasn't for me bring queer he wouldn't have been an alcoholic. They said it was too many years of neglect and his heart stopped. This is all my fault. I am a dumb faggot. He was right. I hate myself. I hate myself for being me and for loving you. I hate..."

"Phil hey listen to me." I was crying in the supermarket. "Phil you're perfect. You've changed the lives of how many people? Three million viewers, all of your friends, your family, me. If it wasn't for you there would be a lot less joy in the world."

A heaving sob answered. "Dan. I love you. Goodbye."

The line went dead.

Goodbye? Did he mean? I abandoned my shopping cart and sprinted out of the store. My shoes slapped against the pavement. My heart raced. I was so out of shape. My lungs burned, but I kept running. The flat wasn't far; I could make it. My lungs screamed for oxygen. My calves felt like they were on fire. I reached the door. I fumbled with the key. My hands were shaking so much that I could barely turn the knob.

"Phil! Phil where are you?" I screamed across the flat. I frantically searched the rooms. Where was he?

He wasn't in his room or mine. Not the kitchen. Or the living room. My heart boomed in my ears. I felt sick. What if he was dead? Don't think about that Dan.

The bathroom?

Yes.

Phil was sprawled in the tub. He was surrounded by various pill bottles and I knew too well what had happened. His face was blue and splotchy.

My hands shook as I dialed 999. "What's your emergency?"

I gasped into the phone. "My friend... My friend he overdosed." I gave them the address.

I knelt next to the bathtub and took Phil's lifeless hand. "Phil you'd better not fucking give up on me. Stay alive. I-I need you."

The paramedics couldn't come fast enough. Finally they arrived and carried Phil out on a stretcher.

One of them noticed me sobbing from a distance. "You wanna ride in the back of the ambulance mate?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yes. Thank you."

I stayed with Phil in the ambulance. They hooked him up to oxygen and sped through London.

I shook like a leaf. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I wheezed out every breath. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like I was dying with Phil. My chest hurt so much. Every breath hurt more than the last.

"You okay mate?" Asked the same paramedic.

I nodded, since I was barely able to breath. I didn't want to distract them for a second from Phil. He had to live.

He had to live.