baby blue. - a smornby fic.

Questioning.

Alex's P.O.V

I'd never really questioned my sexuality before. Not because I always thought I was straight, I've just never thought about it. I've been with women my whole life and it has all felt the same, I never felt anything special. I just thought that was the way is was meant to feel. But when I kissed Ross. That felt different. A good different. I'm not saying I'm gay, because fuck, I don't know anymore. But I know now, I am not straight.

During the kiss I had pushed him back onto the bed and kissed him some more. I had all my weight on him, feel sorry for the small bastard.

"Alex.. What was that?" He asked me delicately. I climbed off of him and pulled him up with me by grabbing onto his sweater.

I felt confused. Really fucking confused. "I don't know, man.." I sighed, shaking my head.

"What does this mean?" He asked, clearly bewildered.

"I don't know I just.. Felt like I wanted it. Fuck.." I stuttered out, bringing my hand to my head.

"It's fine, don't worry.." Ross struggled to get his words out as he flattened out his sweater from the crease I made in it with my hand.

"no, it's not. Now you'll feel like I'm fucking with you.." I said shamefully, sighing into my hand.

"I don't, Smith, it's okay," he nodded, sending me a smile.

I could tell that what I did wasn't fine, you could see it in those god damn alluring eyes.

"It's not, I don't why I did that.." I lied, I knew exactly why I did that. It's because I'm pretty sure I like Ross.

Ross' P.O.V
Shit.

Right when I convinced myself that I was over smith, he had to go and do this.

I'm not even mad at him, I'm just fucking confused.

I knew I was fucking crazy for Alex. I knew it for a while then, I just always had a hard time accepting that. But I definitely didn't think that he was using me. He wouldn't.

"I'll just go--" he went to leave but I grabbed his arm rather weakly and he sat back down.

"Stay. For fucks sake smith let's not have a repeat of last time," I chuckled a little, putting my own feelings aside to try and make him happier.

He smiled, it didn't look forced? "Alright, I just never have really thought about being with men.. That's why I'm freaking out a little bit, nothing personal."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I won't take it personally then.. But did you, like, um.." I was about to ask but hesitated,

"Like it?" He finished my question for me, "I guess I did.. It felt different to when I'd kiss a girl. A good different, I just have a lot to think about I guess.."

"Well take your time," I told him sweetly with a smile. As much as I want to talk about us, I know what it's like to be questioning your sexuality.

Alex smiled. You can tell that he still felt bad. Which he shouldn't. "You're the best," He complimented me. Not so boring now am I?

I simpered and poked his arm playfully, "thank you!" I chirped before climbing under my duvet. "If you're staying, don't hog the blanket," I said with a cheeky smirk on my lips as I closed my eyes.

"I won't.." He whispered, I could tell from his tone he was still feeling bad. He coined under shortly after I did, he laid facing me. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't mind. I was actually rather tired.

~
Alex's P.O.V

I woke up late, my eyes felt heavy and my limbs unstretched. I opened my eyes to find the back of Ross' head in front of me. I've never been so glad to see you. I looked down to find that my arm was hung over his slim body.

I'm spooning Ross.

I slowly lifted my arm from him, not wanting to wake him up. He mumbled something in his sleep, but I couldn't make sense of it.

I sat up in the bed and looked down at him. He looked so.. Peaceful as he slept. Cute.

I shook the thought out of my head and moved my head to look at the painted image on the wall. It was truly beautiful. From the colours used I assumed Ross was envious of something and was happy on the inside about something. But the blue shows that he was at least a bit sad about something. I guess it made sense at that point. I was curious of the envy however, I don't have a clue where that came from.

"Hmm.." Ross mumbled softly as he turned around in his sleep. He struggled as his eyes flickered open to meet me. "Morning.." He mumbled to me.

"Morning.." I said back gently as I kind of took a moment to admire his adorable groggy self.

"How long have you been up?" He asked, his voice a little rough.

"Only a couple 'o minutes," I nodded, "hope I didn't snore too loud, love."

He chuckled lazily, shaking his head, "nope, not at al actually.. For once."

Ross then slowly sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed before he headed out of the room. "Where are you going?" I asked, raising a brow at him with a little smirk.

"Off to go get some food so you don't get hangry, of course.." He sent me a little wink before leaving.

I rested back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I let out a longing sigh.

I mean, Ross is undoubtedly cute as fuck. But seriously he's the only person I particularly enjoy the company of. He's funny, kind, sweet, loyal and he's just a beautiful person. My heart has never fluttered for anyone before. Until now.. This means something, it must do..

.. Baby blue.

"Alex! It's almost ready!" I heard him calling me, disturbing my train of thought.

"Coming!" I shouted back, sitting up.

Isn't the first time I've shouted that with Ross in mind..

..

Why did I say that?