Bright Lights // j.s

chapter eighteen

i love you... three simple words that can change everything that has happened in this past year.

My eyes widen and i look towards Nate, "what" i question, not believe what he said.

"Noelle, i love you. i always have and i've always been jealous of the fact that you took a liking in Swazz instead of me because it's always been you... every girl i'd bring around, i was praying that you'd give me a reason to leave her behind, because i wanted to be with you..." he pauses, grabbing my hand.

"you mean the world to me Noelle, every time you called me crying because of some worthless dude broke your heart, those nights were the worst, not just for you. The night that you got pregnant, was the most heartbreaking day, because i knew that John wasn't gonna be everything you needed him too be." he pauses again, catching his breath.

"and the day you got married, when i walked you down that isle, i wished that i was the one you were walking too, but you weren't and it was because i was so afraid to tell you how i felt back in freshman year of highschool."

by now, tears are falling down my face and he kisses my hand, "i know you've been through a lot these past couple months, but i'm gonna be here till the end of time baby girl, i'm not going anywhere"

i smile and lean into him, hugging him tightly. "Nate, i love you too.. but i can't rush into a relationship till my marriage is officially over and i get that all sorted out"

I pull away and smile at Nate. He wipes the tears from under my eyes and smiles lightly at me "im not going anywhere"

We finish eating dinner and begin walking the rest of the zoo. "Are you ready to go home?" Nate yawns and continues pushes Everly who is asleep in the stroller.

"yeah actually, i'd really love to go home and get out of these shoes." Nate smiles towards me and we start walking out of the zoo

"You get into the car and i'll put Everly and everything away." I smile towards him and get into his BMW, laying my head on the chair and closing my eyes, opening the sunglasses compartment and grab Nate's ray-bans placing them on my face.

The door opens and i hear Nate sitting down, starting the car. "You look good in my sunglasses, you can keep them" he whispers and beings driving out of the zoo parking lot.

"I'm not wearing them to try and get you to give them too me, Nate. My head hurts so i'm barrowing them" I keep my eyes closed and Nate just hums.

---

He parks his car and i get out, grabbing my purse and walking towards the house. "hopefully you were planning on grabbing E!" Nate just chuckles and i walk into the house.

"want me to rub your feet?" Nate asks, lying down next to me with Everly sleeping in his chest. "you're kidding me right?" I look towards him in disgust.

"well, not really." He shrugs and and kisses E's head. "you know i don't let anybody touch my feet ever, i hate feet" he laughs and closes his eyes, his breathing becomes even and you can hear slight snores

I stand up and take a picture, smiling at how cute they are. I stare at the photo thinking about posting it and starting a whole lot more of drama or not posting it.

I open Instagram and click to post the photo, i'm now thinking of a good caption.

@noellerobinson; tummy time with daddy.

I tag Nate and close instagram before i can see anybodies nasty comments towards the caption, or see how many people will tag John in the photo asking him what is going on.

I turn my phone off and walk downstairs and see Stew sitting in the living room, "hey stew" i sit down next to him and watch him play his video games.

"are you and Nate dating now?" i look at Stew for a second and look back at the tv. "No, i'm still married to John." Stew nods and pauses his game.

He gets up and walks out of the room, quickly coming back with his macbook and hands it to me. "Thanks Stew" i smile and open his computer.

His background is his girlfriend and him, super cute. "What the password?" i look towards Stew and he was focused on his game "maloley188" he replies without looking at me.

I type in his password and open twitter, seeing Stew's is open. i think about tweeting but don't. I log out of his and log into mine.

I go through my noitfications, seeing people sending me screenshots of something, wondering what it is i click on it and it is a comment on my newest photo

I look closely at the picture and see it's a comment from John, this couldn't be good. I can't zoom in on the photo because i'm on the computer.

"Stew can i barrow your phone?" Stew nods and pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket, placing his finer on the scanner and the screen lit up.

i clicked on his twitter app and quickly hit the button to add my account to his phone, i log in fast and go through my notification's finding the picture.

i click it and it opens the photo, me being able to see the comment clearly, i bite the instead of my lip nervously.

i squeeze my eyes shut, breathing in deeply and opening them. I begin to read the comment.

@jswazz; "doesn't take you long to move on, now does it? 🤗"

I roll my eyes at the comment, what a hypocritical thing to say considering the fact that he's the one who cheated.

i go back to going through my notifications on stew's phone, seeing i'm being flooded with new ones.

i refresh the page and see a bunch of people tagging my @ along with John's. I click on one and it brings me to a reply of a tweet from John.

i click the first tweet, opening it.

@skathannow; "yooo @jswazz, what happened to being married?"

@jswazz; "@skathannow, still am"

i click on John's twitter and see tons of responses to tweets, this little prick is answering the fan's questions about us, opening up about our personal life.

As i'm scrolling through them, one response catches my eye, i click it and the fan asks; @hippiejohnson; "what'd you do to make you leave? @jswazz"

too which, John responds with @jswazz; "@hippiejohnson, she left me for nate"

i hit the respond button, i know i'm gonna regret what i'm about too do, but he brought it upon himself.

@noellerobinson: "@hippiejohnson. he cheated... @jswazz." i hit send.

Tweets began flooding my timeline about John cheating and i know he's not gonna be happy about it, but he shouldn't have cheated.

hateful tweets were being sent to John and I both, some defending me and some defending the wrongful actions of John.

I sigh, logging out of twitter and handing Stew his phone back, closing his laptop without logging out and walking up stairs.

i walk into Nate's bedroom, seeing Everly asleep on the bed and Nate on his phone; i'm about to be in trouble

"that asshole thinks that what he did is okay, and so do the fans" he shakes his head and walks towards me.

"Noelle, what he did will never be okay, don't listen to any of the fans who are defending him." he leans in close.

his lips inches away from mine, i look up at nate and he smirks, grabbing hold of my hips playfully and smirking.

jerkface... Being a mom has really changed me for the better, i no longer curse, like ever.

"what are you thinking about weird-face" Nate smirks at me, raising an eyebrow.

"life"