A Mistaken Wish (#Wattys2016)

A page from Ashi's Journal

Hey everyone.....wish you all a very happy new year

This is not a chapter but and entry from Ashi's journal where she writes about what she feels about love, what love is for her.

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Dear Dairy,

Today I was just sitting in my balcony and thinking how can love change the life of people......For me love was always something not meant for me.... Never did know that things would change like this for me.....I have never seen a successful relation in my life be I my parents who just stayed together because my mom didn't wanted to have her kids grown with the parents living separately......then my sister got married....and they felt like weekend couples who met every Saturday and Sunday or came together as picture perfect couple on some events or family gathering but otherwise were always busy with their office and work with no interest in each other's life.....I just hated the fact of things being so fake.....I never really romanticized about being in love but about one thing I was sure I didn't wanted to be with someone all my life who I couldn't wait to see in the moments of my life.... My notions were to filmy for the real world but what was filmy for other was a truth of my life....I know my notions don't fit very well in the world today but then again when have I ever cared much about it.....for me love was a one time deal, I always thought I was incapable of feeling it never did I know that I was going to feel it and feel it so deep that it will become the essence of my....never did I knew he will change my world for me with my sucky notions of life......for me relations were mutually benefiting agreements between to people who are forced to have it but taught a relation build with love is not a mutually benefiting agreement but a sanctuary where two souls find peace in one another from all the troubles of the world.....being in love I realized how selfish a life I led, how I never thought above myself, how many times in a day did I use the word I because with him I realized something was more important than me love him made me put him before me.

Love just makes you a better person but only when done unconditionally.....if love is done with conditions, it does not remain much of love but a relationship of convenience....love is when you start thinking about how your actions will effect the one you love.....love is when every breath you take remember him/her....love is when all of sudden someone opinion about you starts mattering...love is when you are ready to walk out of your comfort zone just to see them happy.....love is when just a loo n his eye make you forget the world.....love is when he holds your hand and you know you can take on the world and face anything....love is when he has to stay away from you for a year but after a year when you talk its like he never left.....love is when you are in hell and he is with you and you give a shit but if he is not with you even heaven doesn't hold your interest......love is when a his memories can give you strength to bear the greatest of pain without a word......love is when every touch except his feels like a torcher.... Love is when distance and times are just miles and hours having no effect on how you feel.....Love is when he is not only your greatest strength but also your biggest weakness.....love is when a single tear in his eyes is a dagger in your heart.....love is when you are ready to bear all the pain to see them ok.....love is when if it kills you to walk away from them but you still do because you know its for their good......love is when you cry all night missing them but pretend that you don't care when you see them so that they move on...love is when you break every single bit in you to help them build themselves......love is when for his smile single smile you are ready to lose your happiness forever.

Love doesn't happen twice.....after that we only compromise with our self. It takes a minute to say I love you but it takes a whole life to prove it.....love is never selfish, it only knows how to give never to take.

I know what I'm writing is very filmy to most of the world but then this is how I feel....most of the people think these are the emotions present only in novels and in movie, I would have never believed it myself if I would not have felt them.....love is soul of every being without it every being is just a person breathing and living an incomplete life. He made me all I am, he is the soul in me....he is MY LOVE.

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