Something's gotta give

11 - Revelations

Being back in her seat Brent bent over to her. "What was this? Was he being impertinent, once more?" "Oh, no. Said he wants to talk to me in a few minutes. Alone. Probably, to be impertinent... without witnesses. I don't know." Her smile was smittened. "Shout for me, if he does!" She gave him a grateful look. "I will!" "You're welcome."

They finished their meal, finally. Charlie left two slices untouched, not sure if it was out of satiation - or because she felt no specific desire to talk to Tedder afterwards, especially alone. Drew switched on the telly. "Whatcha wanna watch?" "I'd go for the Disney channel", Zach said almost enthusiastically. The others agreed. Seconds later there was "The Goonies" on screen. Charlie was amused. 'A bunch of grown-up men watching a kid's movie - how sweet's this?', she thought. 'Keeping the inner child alive is a real good thing, though. Everybody should do this. But maybe it's just they need that to calm down. Anyways...'

Ryan interrupted her thoughts. Standing beside her he said with a low voice: "Would you mind?" She looked up. "Uh... if you insist..." "I do." "Just let me get dressed." "There's no need. This is a secluded area. Come on." "Well... then let me at least go and get my cigarettes." He frowned, out of surprise but didn't comment on her revelation. "I'm outside." "Fine. Will be there in no time." Ryan said aloud: "Guys, I'm off for today. Good nite." If the others were surprised they didn't show it. They wished him a good night back and he went out while Charlie stood up and was about to go into the other direction. "Hey, what's up with you?" Eddie asked curiously. "Just fetching my cigarettes. I need one, after the dinner. Problem?" Eddie shook his head. "Err... no. But you know..." "The bus is off-limits, yeah. I remember the rules, Fisher." "Good." His attention got drawn back to the movie again.

She took her cigarettes and the lighter. Passing by the band again she said: "See you in a minute.", and quickly went out, not waiting out any reply. But she knew: Brent's eyes were following her with concern.

Outside, Ryan was walking around aimless, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his baggy. When Charlie left the bus he turned to her. "Thanks for coming. Fancy a little walk?" She looked around. "You sure I can do this... in my PJ's?" He flashed her a little smile. "I am. Have a little faith in me. I'll take care of your safety with my life, if necessary." He sounded all serious but she was looking at him distrustfully. "I'll nail you down on this!" "Trust me." "Like... you trust me?" she asked mockingly. He chuckled. "Just a bit more than that." "Uhmmm... okay. Let's go, then." He examined her from top to bottom in amusement. "I don't think something could happen to you in this... uhm... thing, anyways." She was smirking. "I only follow the rules." "Much appreciated."

They started to walk and after a while of complete silence, apart from some crickets chirping, Ryan said: "Thought you wanted to smoke?" "Oh... yeah. Hold on." She took out the package and lit a cigarette. "Ahh..." She inhaled and enjoyed the first drag. "Uh... can I get one...?" "Huh?" "Giving away one of these?" She was stunned, almost startled. "You... smoke?" "Infrequently." "Right. I didn't... uh..." "You didn't expect me to do something stupid like smoking?"

She took another drag. 'I know where this is going', Charlie thought depressed. But then he added: "See... I'm not judging you for smoking. Though... it is stupid. But... I'm not any better. I'm not above admitting: I'm even worse. I'm unable to deal with alcohol, at least at the present." He hesitated. "As you may have noticed." "I didn't." "What did I tell you about not lying to me?" he said warningly. "You're sounding like a parent." Charlie answered unimpressed. "Well... I am. Can I have a cigarette now?" She shook her head. "A singer shouldn't do this." "And now you're sounding like a parent, too." "Well... I'm not. Your decision." She handed him the package and he pulled out a cigarette. Sticking it between his lips he said: "Would you mind?" She lit his cigarette while he was protecting the flame with his hands. "Thanks." And he took a drag, inhaling intensely. "Oh Lord... forgive me, but that's almost better than..." "Oh please, don't!" she interrupted him. "What? You don't even know what I was about to say." "Well, no, but I have an idea, at least." "No, you don't", he said sternly. "Ok... go on, then..." "Coffee. Food. Good Food. Like... Sushi." She could hear that he was trying to suppress a laughter and looked at him. He raised his eyebrow.

"What's so funny?" she asked. "Err... I saw your face when Clint mentioned the Sushi restaurant for tonight. It was speaking volumes. So I decided we'd go for pizza." She nodded, pondering. "So it's true what they say. You can be nice." "Well, I am, actually." They walked on.

"I guess we're not..." - "You're getting along..." Both spoke simultaneously. "You first", he said. "Thanks. I guess we're not out here to talk about our unhealthy habits, are we?" "That's right." She waited for him to go on. First, he took another drag. "I wanted to say sorry for my behavior earlier on. Actually, I do say sorry. It was an inappropriate remark. On top, it was sexist." She opened her eyes widely. "That... uhm... means a lot to me. Thank you. I didn't expect that." "Yeah, well... nevertheless you deserve it. I ought to be funny... and I would've been - if it had been a joke among the guys and myself. Because I was drunk I forgot... well, it wasn't my intention to hurt you."

"I appreciate your excuse, really." "Yeah? And you're accepting?" "Sure I do." "Thanks." They were quietly walking on for a while. Then she said: "You were about to say something?" "Uh... yes. It's my impression you and the guys are getting along pretty well." "I think so." "That's good. And... bad, at the same time." "Why's that?", she asked irritated. "Because they're chatterboxes once they trust in someone." "What's that supposed to mean?" "They might tell you certain things they shouldn't." "About what?" "About me." "Well... they didn't. At least I don't recall anybody saying something bad about you." She paused. "Instead, everybody was trying to reassure that I have a false impression of you, so far." "Which is?" She stopped and put out her cigarette. He did the same.

"Uh... can we go back? It's getting cold..." "Just a second. What's your impression?" She decided to be honest. "That you can't stand me." "Hmm... is it important to you that I would?" "No. Not important. But our cooperation would be more enjoyable to me if you did. I'm a sucker for harmony."

He burst out with laughter. "Oh my... you have a way with words, you know that? For it's only your second language... I did expect much less. Seems like I've underestimated you... I bet you even got it right when I almost said »bed me« instead of »beg me«, by accident!" "Sure, by accident..." She smiled and he really blushed a bit, as far as she could perceive in the scattered glow of the street lights.

"You cross?" "Absolutely... not. Since Zach gave me some good advice." "Which was?" he asked quite curious. "To see it more like a game than a fight... if... when you're turning on me." "Aha. Smart guy. And?" "And - what?" "Can you try to see it like a game?" "If it helps to get along with you..." "It would. Since I've learned you're no stranger to irony and sarcasm yourself... we can have some fun if you don't take any of my words too serious." "Only when you're drunk?" He shook his head and his smile was honest and open. "No. Even more when I'm sober." "I think this could be the beginning of a quite prolific collaboration." "Provided that the pictures you've taken today are to my... satisfaction... I agree." "Then let's hope so." "I've met many people in my life I could stand far lesser than you. Just to let you know." "Bet, I've met more." Both smiled at each other.

"So... come on, let's get back." They started to walk back to the busses. "Uhm... wait a second. Please." He stopped walking. "There's something else. If we keep on working together you need to know about that." "About what?" "A personal and private thing. And I need you to keep the knowledge to yourself." "I will." He hesitated, sighing. "The guys also know about this. But I assume no-one has ever talked to you about it. The reason for my sometimes... uh... strange behavior... and why I didn't want you to join us in the first place..." "You hate women?" He chuckled, but it sounded unreal. "No, actually I love them, generally. There's just a particular one I'm messing with, right now. Wouldn't be such a big deal... if she wasn't my wife. Who is, as it happens to be, the mother of my children, in unison." "Oh shit." Charlie felt affected. "That's bad." "More than that." He sighed. "I really hope we'll be able to solve our problems. Anyway... that's what's distracting me, currently. I know I'm just projecting and I wish I wouldn't, but right now... every... any! female's a red rag to me. So... keep in mind... me, turning on you... it's nothing personal."

She didn't answer, kept the silence."You're making me nervous, Charles. Say something, dammit!""Well... I don't know what to say." She looked down to the ground."To say »I'm sorry« just sounds so... insufficient. But that's what Iam." He buried his hands deeply in his pants again. "That's more thansufficient. Do I have your word not to talk about my revelation - ever?"She nodded. "You do." "Thank you." he simply said. Sheknew: He wasn't waiting for any reply.