Something's gotta give

31 - Justifiable homicide

Eddie gazed at her aghast. "You're kidding me! You're married?!" She shook her head. "No. I was." "For how long?" "Almost six years." "That just can't be true!" "Why can't it?" "You're only... what? 26?" "Thanks. 28!" "That makes a big difference! How old have you been when you got married?" "I was 19." "My goodness... so you were just a child!" "Yes... mentally I was, for sure. Immature, easy to impress, infantile..." "And... devoted."

She avoided meeting his eyes. "No... I was worse. Submissive. Obsessive. And addicted." "Oh Charlie... that sounds terrible!" "Yeah well... it wasn't, at least not in the beginning. He was almost ten years older than me and he fulfilled all my young girl's dreams and wishes. In addition... he helped me to get away from my depressive, violent biological alcoholic father." "Oh girl... you've got a history... What happened then, why did he become violent all of a sudden?"

She looked right into his eyes. "He didn't become violent so sudden. He was just dominant ... and... physically superior. And I... I liked it. No... I enjoyed it. He was my first and I thought there wasn't any other way to make love." "He taught you love has to hurt?" Eddie could hardly believe what he'd just heard. "Well... in the beginning it was just emotional pain - he didn't punish me physically, he didn't hit me or anything like that. He tortured me by just... keeping me waiting, building up tension and refusing to release me, you understand?" Eddie's smile was slightly dirty. "He put you on the brink... getting it now why you didn't kick my ass the other night." "You mean... when you told me I'd need your permission to come?" Her smile was even dirtier. "Yeah... that was one of those games I really loved, back then... and I still do. It always takes me to the most intense orgasms."

Eddie was stroking her arm softly. "So you enjoyed being with that man for a period of time... but something must've happened if you're divorced now." She gave him a sardonic look. "Whoa... who said I'm divorced?" "Huh? You just told me you're not married anymore!" "Well... widows aren't." Eddie fell back on his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. "Great. Dropped another brick, then. Sorry." She laughed quietly. "No, it's OK... listen... I will tell you more... but there's that 'quid pro quo' thing, you know? I first wanna hear why you've beaten that woman back then. Who's she, what she means to you? And... did you really got away with just one night in custody?"

Eddie sat up, leaned his back against the bedhead, covering his lower body with the sheet. "May I?" Charlie gave him an asking look, resting her head on his thighs. He looked down at her, running his fingers through her hair.

"She was my girlfriend, back then", he said, obviously in deep thoughts. "I was seriously in love with her... I liked her a lot and I really hoped for... further development, to be honest." "I can see this still hurts", Charlie whispered, took his hand and pressed it. He rolled his eyes. "Hell... yeah. It does. Mainly because I was just stupid. I mean... I was really up for her but... because me and the band've been away for quite a while... she read or heard or saw something on the internet or wherever meanwhile... and she took it for real..."

Charlie grabbed his hand. "Let me guess... she took... uh... revenge...?" He pressed her hand and swallowed. "She cheated on me. And when I found out... I went nuts... I shattered a door or two, I think. I never ever wanted to slap her or even aim for her in any violent way, whatsoever - but at first it got verbally out of control... then she tried to hit and kick me... and then my hand slipped. Unfortunately I cut her lip with my College ring - I swear it was not a forceful slap! All I wanted to do was to bring her to her senses again."

She softly kissed his knuckles. "I don't doubt it...but I know how American law can respond to incidents like these... This could've ended up very bad for you!" "I already told you... Ryan saved me." "He bribed her?" She felt him moving inconveniently. "Charles, you know... sometimes you can be so disgusting! That's not his style!" "What is his style, then?" "He talked her out of denouncing me." "Mh." "What?!?" "You're sure? Just talking?" "That's what he told me, at least." "Well... usually, people try to take financial advantage of situations like these. You're a celeb - so I'd be surprised if she didn't. She never asked for smart-money?" "No, actually... she didn't." He sounded thoughtful. "You should ask Ryan if he offered her some, eventually." "If so I'm in his debt, only twice." "I bet I'm right. She wouldn't have let you off the hook so easily, trust me. What did he say to you anyway? Did you get a first and final warning?"

"You started that 'quid pro quo' thing - it's my turn again." He wrapped a strand of her hair around his finger. "So you're a widow. What happened?" She closed her eyes. "Eddie... have a little patience... apart from my parents and my best girlfriend... nobody else knows. It's tough for me to talk about this."

"We got time", he answered. "And we've still got some Bourbon left..." She raised her hand. "I'm in!" He took his glass from the nightstand, supporting her lifting her head and let her take a sip. "Mhhh... That's real good stuff! Otherwise we'd both be knocked out hours ago, already!" "Whatever!" He took a sip himself. "Talk!"

She nodded slowly. "That's only fair, right? I killed my husband." He started chuckling. "Come on... seriously!" "Yeah... OK... the judge called it 'justifiable homicide'. But... in my mind... you're sharing this bed with a murderer, right now." Eddie bent down, his face close to hers, studying her eyes. "You... you killed him in self-defense?! So... it got violent, in the end - he tortured you, for real - not just mentally! And - you fought him?"

"Eddie... please. Don't make me relive the details, please!" He pulled her in, out of an impulse to comfort her. "No, honey... I won't. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. And I wouldn't have asked if I knew before... But how come you're not in jail? I mean... even it was justifiable - it's been still homicide. Or is the German law so different compared to American justice?"

"Uh - no. In fact, I think it's quite similar. But about one year before I killed him I had filed for divorce and obtained an interjunction. He was supposed to keep a distance of at least 150 meters." "Why did you file for divorce - only if you care to tell me...?" "Gimme some room first, will you? You're taking my breath away... but not in a good sense!" He realized that he was still squeezing her tight instinctively and he only slowly could let go off her. "Thanks..." She inhaled.

"I filed for divorce because... the latent violence I liked so much at first turned more and more into reckless, sadistic brutality. He treated me like a prisoner... or even more like a slave in the end. By that time... my biological father died and my mom - well... she was lucky to meet her current husband. The documents say he's just my stepfather but to me he IS my one and only real father. He literally saved my life and helped me to realize what was happening to me... what I let happen to me and that my husband was about to destroy me. He helped me to get away and to hide."

"But your husband found you?" "It took him almost a year, but yes - in the end, he did. Let me have another sip, Ed. Those memories are hard to bear..." He helped her again, propping her head while she drank. "Take the rest", she said and he took the glass and he downed it in one gulp. "Only now I have the courage to ask: How did you kill him?" She laughed out loud shortly. "In the most ordinary, banal way: I gave him a push when he tried to get in my flat, he fell down the stairs and broke his neck." Eddie gently stroked her cheeks and wiped away the streams of tears that were running down her face. She only realized she was silently crying when he did that. She sobbed and tried to pull away his hands.

He resisted and took her face between the palms of his hands, instead. "Don't be ashamed to cry, honey... it's alright. I can hardly imagine what you'd gone through! Your experience is the most horrible thing I ever heard of but you didn't murder him. That was just an accident. And if he harassed and threatened you I think you had all the right to take a stand against him." Charlie sniveled. "The judge thought likewise, fortunately. So I didn't get convicted. But the trial was like going through hell... because I had to recount everything and anything over and over again. Intimate things, things that should've stayed private, things I especially didn't want my mom and dad to know." She sighed. "Eddie?" "Yes, baby." "You are the first stranger I'm talking to about this. Would you please keep it to yourself?" "Absolutely!" "I really mean it... please don't you ever talk about this to anybody but especially not to your bandmates, OK?" "I swear I won't, honey, don't worry." "Thank you." She was yawning. "Any idea how late it is?"

Eddie checked on his watch. "Half past three, babe. How about some sleep?" "Sounds like a brilliant idea." "Then come over here." He took her in his arms. Kissing her forehead he said: "Charlie, I appreciate your honesty though it was just alcohol and... emotional confusion which made you talk. Thank you." She snuggled up to him. "You're welcome." "Night, honey." "Night, Ed... Ed?" "Yeah." "I'm not emotionally confused anymore. I've never been clearer than now." "Good for you. Sleep now."

Eddie was almost sunken to sleep when Charlie murmured: "Will you ask Ryan if he redeemed you?" "Nope." "Why not? You don't wanna know?" "I don't wanna know... and he's got other trouble ahead." "Trouble you won't talk about." "Exactly. Shut up now and sleep, missy. We need to leave this suite by noon." "Right... night." "Nighty-night."