Journeys(L.H)

Chapter 35

"Uh, not too long." I lied again. I need to stop with all the lying to everyone. "Okay, well I did hear your conversation with you family." I sighed and blew out a breath as I spoke.
A look of suspicion crossed his face. "But I didn't mean to invade your privacy! I was just curious when I saw you go out into the hall on your phone. So I followed you out and, well, listened." I explained to him, talking faster than he could process my words.

"So you heard everything? All of that?" Ashton asked, deadpanning once I was done with my useless blabbering to try and cover up my invasion of all his privacy.
"Well, most of it. Your little brother and sister sound really nice though." I said after shrugging sheepishly. I pulled a tiny smile up at him, hoping he wasn't mad.
Thankfully, Ashton smiled back before running a hand through his curly blonde hair. "Yeah. They're great. I just wish I got to spend more time with them." He looked so tired and worn down that it made him look 29 and not 19.

   Then a thought crossed my mind out of curiosity. I'd heard him talk to his mum and siblings, but not his dad. Was he busy? Not home? Was it a sensitive subject? Maybe it was a bad decision to say because it could've been very offensive, but I did it. "Ashton, what about your dad? I mean, was he home?" I asked him slowly and carefully, like I was tiptoeing around a minefield, desperately trying not to step on any bombs or else everything would be gone.

A look of sadness and longing settled on his chiseled face. I immediately knew that that was the wrong thing to say because his eyes became cloudy and distant. "No, he uh-" Ashton looked down, cleared his throat then looked back up before continuing his sentence. "He left when I was two. It's just them. And me." He said. I could tell that he did not want to reminded of his father's absence.

But if there was no fatherly figure for Harry and Lauren, then Ashton would've had to be there for them. And even though I'd never been in that situation, Louis had to. My dad was never there. I knew what Lauren and Harry must be feeling. The first time Louis went away for your, the whole house was a mess. That's when I realized he was the glue, the happy laughingstock of the family that bound us all together. We were all lost and stumbling without him.
Just imagine, Ashton at a young age having to act as a father to his sister and brother because his real father didn't have the guts to stay. He had a huge responsibility on him. He still manages to be so happy and live his dream while taking care of his whole family. He was their backbone.
As all this information was developing in my mind, a look of surprise and empathy created a mixture in my face. "Oh Ashton." I said softly.

Tears were forming in my eyes. It's stupid, this isn't my family. But I feel so close to him now that he feels like family. I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around his middle. He hugged my back, letting out tiny sobs on my shoulder. Is never seen someone so built up in public but still able to be emotional around friends. Very rarely, you'll find someone who has the best soul but the worst life. They lighten up everyone's days, even though they still could have so many things to cry about. Ashton is that exact person. He chooses to be happy instead of mopey because he knows what's best for everyone, including himself.
When the tears of a broken sunshine fall, someone has to wipe them away and let them take a break from being a sunshine. The sun sets everyday, leaving the moon to become the one that lights up the skies, just for a while before the sun comes back.

"You are the bravest, most positive person I've ever known." I whispered into his ear, him still clinging to me. I didn't mind. Everyone needs a little bit of sun. "Harry and Lauren are so lucky to have you in their lives. I'd be happy to say that I know Ashton Irwin, rockstar drummer with the best personality around town." I said to him. I let him take a big shuddering breath to recompose himself.

"You're such a great friend." Ashton said once he let go of me. His embrace left a warm feeling in my body, like I'd been personally heated by the sun.
"You're such a great brother." I teased back to him, a smile growing on my face. I wish Ashton could be my brother, protecting me and thinking about me.
Don't get me wrong, Louis' great. But sometimes he's just a little too much for me.
"I'm serious. I don't know what I'd do without you. We'd all be lost." Ashton, brushing his hair back into his blue bandana.

I blushed a bit and shrugged. "I hope that's not true." I said before thinking. Once I said it, there was not asking it back. My eyes got wide at what I'd just spit out. Nobody was supposed to know about me leaving.
"What?" Ashton asked with growing confusion. It was already out, no use in telling more lies.
"My mum is coming to get me. I'm going back home." I sighed. "I'm not coming back on tour. I'll be gone." I told him.

"What?" Ashton looked crushed, I didn't think he'd be so disappointed. "You can't leave! We need you! I need you! Luke needs you especially." He said the last part quietly.
I shook my head. "No one was supposed to know. It's too late now. She's already here." I gave him one last look. "Go play a rocking show. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

I made a rock n' roll symbol with my fingers before rushing off, not wanting to look into the face of a falling sun.

A/N: wow that just got real emotional and shît. There was too much cuteness I had to end it. Ps I'm sorry for sucking so much. Okay byeeeeeee🙏