Synesthesia [Woozi+Hoshi]

+20

When I was outside of the building, I rounded a corner quick, going around to the side of the building and nearly diving behind a bush. I'd realized Soonyoung was following me, and I wanted to lose him somehow. He'd already seen me crying, that damage was already done, but I didn't want him to try to talk to me or whatever the hell he thought he was going to do. I didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not Soonyoung.

"Jihoon!" I heard him yell, probably looking around for where I'd gone. If I peeked around the corner of the building, I could see him running a hand through his hair, looking in every direction for where I'd gone. "Damn it, Jihoon..."

I leaned my head against the building, not watching Soonyoung confusedly look around for me anymore. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, sniffling as quietly as I could so Soonyoung would hear and bring his obnoxious self over.

My sleeve was starting to get soaked with tears. I hadn't even been writing music lately, but I loved music, to hear her say it was a waste of time felt like being stabbed in the heart. That all that work, that all those late nights staying up trying to get things to sound right, all of it was just garbage? A waste of time?

I closed my eyes. I feel empty without music, does that mean I'm nothing but garbage?

Woozi: Is music stupid? [ PM]

Woozi: It's the only thing I love, but is it a waste of time? Is it dumb? [ PM]

Woozi: Does that make me dumb too? Should I do something else? [ PM]

I even don't know why I'm texting him, but I needed someone to talk to without actually talking to anyone, and he was really the only person I texted often enough that this wouldn't be out of the blue.

My phone chimed and made me nearly jump up.

Hoshi: Is dancing stupid? [ PM]

Hoshi: As a profession, u know, is it stupid to want to choreograph and dance for a living? [ PM]

Hoshi: Is breathing stupid? [ PM]

Hoshi: Jesus, Woozi -.-)/ [ PM]

Woozi: choreography isn't stupid, it's an art. [ PM]

"Hey! Lookie here what I found!"

I jumped, whipping my attention upwards to Soonyoung who was standing over me, a slight smile on his face. And before I knew quite what was happening, he sat next to me, putting his arm over my shoulders.

I turned to look at him, and his face seemed awfully close, his eyes looking right back into mine, his eyes wide-eyed and seemingly willing to have a staring competition with me.

"You should really set your phone to silent if you're going to hide, kind of gives it away." Then he looked down at my phone. "Who you texting? A sexy crush?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

I put my phone away. "N-no..." My voice still sounded choked, but I tried to sound annoyed anyway, which ended up sounding like I was just crying harder.

"Aw, Jihoon..." Soonyoung said, pouting. "Just because your mom said that doesn't mean it's true."

I yanked myself out from under his arm. "She's right! I don't have any friends, I poured all my energy into this stupid music thing, and what d-did I even get for it? NOTHING! Just a nice image, just a nice group of colors, just something to calm me down because my life is sh*t!" I glared at Soonyoung, I almost want to hit him. It wasn't his fault, but I wanted to hit him anyway. I wanted to smack him with something, just to get the feeling out.

Soonyoung blinked, taken aback from my yelling, then he looked out toward the empty grass lawn. "Do you ever think the sun get's a lot of crap?" He glanced over at me, then looked back out. "Like, people are always saying, 'it's too hot', 'it's too bright', 'the sun woke me up on a Saturday', 'it's not sunny enough'." Soonyoung tilted his head. "But you know what the sun does? It flips everyone the bird and does what it's going to do anyway, because even with all those negative comments, the sun does more good than harm, and it knows that so it--."

"The sun doesn't have a living consciousness..." I interrupted.

Soonyoung laughed, then looked over at me, "Jihoon, I was trying to be all deep and spiritual, could you just let me have my philosopher moment please?" Then he poked my shoulder. "Long story short, you do more good than harm, so be like the sun, shine anyway, because you've got a talent that shouldn't be wasted, no matter what she says. To tell you to stop writing music would be like asking you to stop being happy."

But she's my mom....

---

a/n:

I still think you should do what makes you happy Ashley marie-sama. Dedicating this to you because I thought of you, and I know how much you love music, and I know you said that it was okay, but I still, I get the feeling you'd be happiest doing something music related :)

~Neri~