The Only Exception...

One with the tide

I try to be happy,
I used to be able to control the seas
But then it rushes over me,
The tsunami tide that used to break at my feet,
Now drowns me in dark water in a sign of defeat.

I know that you care,
But your not always here.
This hollow empty feeling is something I cannot share.

It seems when your not around,
The voices in my head get turned up too loud.
The reassuring whispers I used to hear are drowned out
As this tide rushes in and my hope rushes out.

It's like I have my own stormy cloud
That hovers overhead,
And there's never a dry spout
The rain never runs out.

I always seem on the verge of tears
And all of my actions are results of my fears,
As I see the family I hold most dear,
Forget I exist, forget that I'm here.

I'm so alone and so empty!
I'm tempted to let my lungs fill with the water that's surrounding me.
It won't make a difference, I'm already drowning.
Just stop resisting as my head goes under.

I'm an empty shell,
An echo of the used to be.
A forgotten old voicemail that you forgot to delete.

I don't know why I can't return to the light,
When I hear them downstairs laughing at night.
You have it all; a good family, good life,
You wonder how I could be sad, am I right?

I don't know myself.
These are the cards I've been dealt.

But as I struggle to swim, I dream of a day,
That some mystic creature grabs hold of my leg,
And takes me away to worlds anew,
Where only the sea will ever be blue.
I'll make my new home in this aqua abyss,
Where the tide that once tore me to pieces,
Now sets me free, making me weightless,
And I'll go back to school and swim with the fishes.
Never returning to the world that I knew,
Becoming one with the tide, with power renewed.