The Only Exception...

Doubt All The Above

I lay myself out, vulnerable.
So many things I'd say if only I were able,
But as I open my mouth I feel my throat tightening,
So I lay down all that I am,
All that I have down at your feet.

You ask me for proof, and now you have it.
I ask you the same but u tell me to be patient.
You assure me you'll have something soon,
You run off to your mind palace, searching,
And as you search for an answer, I sit here waiting,
Something I seem more prone to do when it comes to you.

Waiting. Staying. Practically almost the same.
Lord knows I've heard it both ways.
But It's dangerous to leave one alone with their mind.
Especially one who is curious and questions,
Reads too much into to it and learns the wrong lesson.
Who's favorite question has always been, "Why?"

Being programmed to question is a problem, now.
Because questions unanswered always cause doubt,
Not just with what you don't know, but with what you do.
They take what you know, and toss it around,
Until your consistent life truths are no longer sound,
And it leaves your mind utterly screwed.

I really can't help it, really can't fight it.
I'm sorta like an old leaky faucet.
You can seal it up tight, but it always comes loose.
It always will drip, and the smart ones replace it,
But the sentimental will redo the fixing that's needed.
Because though it leaks, it's still fairly new.

Proof is needed to keep it from leaking.
Proof can keep my mind from sinking.
I don't really need it, a'int one to be desperate.
I know the truth, tho my mind won't believe.
Half truths somehow are more often seen.
And the whole truth than change, disappear like magic.

Sometimes I wonder if I prefer the pain,
Prefer to be wrong bout these kinds of things,
Being wrong is a well known, safe territory.
To have something legit would be a first in my case.
Especially since I'm prone to making lots of mistakes,
And screw ups are a decent reason to worry.

Thing is, I know your heart, and I know it is true.
But my past rules my mind, shows me what I could loose.
So I doubt what I know to be real.
Somehow the lack of trust is hard to control,
I'll try not to question, but I can't promise I won't,
But a little effort keeps faucets from leaking.
And proof keeps my mind from over thinking.