Lost and Hopeless

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    My phone buzzed like crazy as I stuffed my money into the box on the bus. The bus driver nodded and I sat down in the first seat. The bus took off down the bumpy, backroad. I texted Cooper saying I would be there soon. He wanted to talk. For a guy, he wanted to talk a lot. Katie's birthday is coming up soon and her Uggs haven't even come in yet. Cooper's birthday is coming up too. Good thing I ordered his cleats early. They were over two hundred dollars. I bought the next size up, just in case his feet grew.
  After another ten minutes, I arrived at my stop. I thanked the bus driver and walked off the bus.
  I headed down the street. After walking a block, I finally made it to his house. He stood at door, just like he had when I left. I walked up to door. He automatically wrapped his arms around me. I pushed away. "Holy shit. What's up?" He smirked. His face turned deep red.
  "I thought you wanted a hug. You didn't want a hug?" I giggled and shook my head. I felt my face turn red.
  He tried to poke my side. I slapped his hand away. He laughed.
  "I miss this." He smiled and pulled me inside.
  "I kinda did, too."
  He pulled me past his dad. "Wait!" The deep voice of his father yelled the word so loudly, everyone could hear. Cooper pulled me back into kitchen, where his dad was cooking lunch. "I don't care if you hang out in his room but no, you know." He moved his hands all around.
  "We know dad." Cooper said, rolling his eyes and turning red.
  I felt my face turn pink. "Mr. Barton, doing that before marriage is a sin. Plus, I don't have a condom and a child isn't needed at the moment."
  "Nice to know."
  Cooper pulled me up the stairs, laughing.
  "Good choice of words." He said. We made it to the top. Cooper pulled my into his room. "Sit on the bed. I have a surprise." I sat down on his twin-sized, navy blue bed.
  He opened his closet and pulled out a small, long box. I got tense. He shut his closet door and sat next to me. He opened the box slowly. I covered my mouth when I saw the bracelet. It was leather bracelet with the word lost was stitched on it. A cross hung from the clip. He clipped it on me. "I will be your discovery. You won't be lost for long. Chris said he told how my mom liked the other girls better than you. Well, what he forgot was, that she loved how you fought life back, even when you didn't know you were."
  He brought his face close to mine. I quickly stood up. Feeling uncomfortable, I gulped down the lump in my throat. He stood up behind me. I turned around. He was a little close for comfort. "Sorry." He whispered.
  I brushed my hair out of my face. He grabbed my hand. "I hope you like your bracelet." I nodded, looking down at the bracelet. "I do. I really do."
  I could feel his eyes on me. "Your a little to erudite." I whisper, still looking down.
  "I know I am." He said, smirking like that was all he could do. I backed up just a tad. He moved closer. "Don't be afraid. I won't kiss you." His face was the deepest red I had ever seen. And once, someone pulled down his pants in front of everyone at school.
  He placed his hand on my shoulder. "V, will you," He paused. I tensed. I felt nervous, what was he going to ask? "play Call of Duty with me?" I let out a happy sigh.
  "Hell yeah!" I grabbed a controller and he grabbed one too.
  I won one round and he won two. "I'm won!" He shouts.
  "I never said I was good at this game." I say, slapping his shoulder.
  "Never say never." He shut off the TV and controllers. I stood up and pulled my shirt past my butt. He grabbed my arm. "Watch it." I say. I pulled my arm away.
  He grabbed my arm again and I pulled away again. He poked my side. "Stop." I slapped his arm.
  "I just want you to know, I like having you as a friend."
  I smiled. "I do, too. Maybe."
  He laughed. I headed for the door, but he stopped me when he sang. "We are hopeless."
  I song back. "And worthless."
  "That's what our parents said."
  "That's what we'll be."
  "Oh but they'll miss me."
  "When I run away, they won't stand a chance finding me." I finished, laughing.
  It was song we made up in seventh grade. I laughed when I turned to see him blushing.
  I backed into the door. "Kids! Lunch!" His father called. I opened the door and saw Chris and Joey racing downstairs. I ran ahead of them and made it to the bottom of the stairs. "Beat you." I say, poking Chris in the chest as he came in second. I walked into the kitchen with Chris and Joey right behind me. Cooper walked in behind them.
  Chris and Joey sat next to each other at the dining table. I sat next to Cooper on the opposite side of them. His dad sat at the head of the table.
  We bit into our sandwiches. Mr. Barton was the first to talk. "So your mother's funeral will be at twelve on Sunday. Violet, you may come if you like."
I finished chewing before I spoke. "Do you really want me to come? I mean, I think just the family should go."
Joey looked worried. I felt so bad for him. "V, please go. It's like your family now." Cooper begged.
"Then you can't date her if she's family." Chris jokes.
Cooper's face turned red. I felt mine do the same.

*******

After Cooper's mother's funeral, he sent me a letter:

Dear Violet,
I feel as if the words I want to say won't come out. It's been days since I have seen you. Matter-of-fact, the last time I saw you was two weeks ago. I gave you the bracelet. Four days after that, was the funeral. I've been having weird dreams about you. The first one came true. You never told me about you and Aislinn. The second dream hasn't come true, exactly. You were happy about something but you wouldn't tell me. I felt like a piece of shit in that dream. Sorry I didn't text you, more phone broke. I miss you.
From,
€ooper

I sent a letter back:

Dear Cooper,
I fell like I've been hiding in your shadows for so long. Like I have been waiting for you to accept me. Now you finally have. When you and Aislinn started dating, I felt like I was pushed back into the shadows. Forgive me you little shit. Aislinn has always lead my happiness into a pit. Any ways, stay strong.
From,
Łøst

The world has now given me a hopeless, discover who has, too, lost a mother. One for faith. Another for freedom.

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