I'm Sorry Alpha

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It's been 2 weeks since I've seen the black wolf and I feel like I'm depressed, I'm fully aware this makes no sense I have never even spoken to him, I don't even know him. All I knew was his name was Luca, he was the Alpha....whatever that is. He had a mate but mated another wolf which just made me sad. I felt horrible for whoever his mate was, she would be searching for him and he is already with another woman. Then again what about that woman's mate, I'm sure she has one out there. How could they be that selfish to destroy another wolf's life by mating each other knowing they didn't belong together?

All these thoughts were consuming me and I fell deeper and deeper into my depression. I was glad it was still summer and I didn't have to worry about school because I don't think I would have been able to talk myself into going. So as I laid out by the pool again trying to avoid my dad and Tyler I was trying to get a grip on my emotions.

"Hey sis." I heard behind me and I groaned internally. I didn't want to talk; I wasn't in the mood to do anything.

"Hi." I said back trying to get him to leave me alone.

"What's going on with you, you've been weird since we moved here." He said and this infuriated me.

"I've been weird!? You're the one running around with your new pack making new friends and living a whole other life. I'm just doing what humans do, nothing!!!" I screamed back. Evening yelling this didn't make me feel better it made my rage swell up from deep within me.

"Hey don't yell at me, I know this has been hard on you but it will get better. You'll get to meet the pack soon and make some friends. I'm sorry you didn't get a wolf, I really am." He said trying to be understanding which just made me feel even worse. I don't even know why I feel this way, I feel hopeless and helpless which is not like me.

"I don't feel like me anymore Tyler. My emotions are all over the place and I just feel hopeless. I don't want to be here anymore and yet I feel like I can't leave even if I wanted to..." I whispered and I felt him hug me and whisper that it was going to be ok. He left soon after that leaving me to resume my boring day by the pool being consumed by my thoughts and feelings once again. I really hope I got to meet the pack soon otherwise I was going to die of boredom.

After a few depressing hours by myself I decided to call it a day and head inside. As I was walking in the back door my dad was ending a phone call, he looked up and smiled at me but it almost seemed to be laced with pity and concern.

"Hey dad." I chirped and I started looking through the fridge for food.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" he asked and I groaned.

"Did Tyler talk to you?" I asked now really annoyed at my protective older brother.

"He mentioned you weren't feeling right, is everything ok?"

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." I said and grabbed and apple and bit into it.

"I am worried though." He said staring me down trying to get me to crack but talking to your dad about your feelings was just weird. Also how was I going to explain that I felt the insane need to find that black wolf. It sounded insane to me so I'm sure if I said it to him he'd think I was crazy, hell I didn't even know who the wolf was so the feeling I have isn't normal.

"I'll be fine there is just a lot going on. Mom is gone and we haven't heard a thing from her, we just moved here, I discovered my family is a bunch of werewolves and I'm the family dud. I have no friends and nothing to do since we live in the middle of nowhere. I'm 17 this is a lot to take in and I'm handling it the best I can." I tried to explain without getting into the other reasons I was feeling the way I was feeling.

"I understand sweetie and I'm very sorry this all happened especially at the same time. I have some news though; you are going to meet the pack tonight. They are having a welcome bonfire for us and the Alpha has requested you participate since technically you are part of the pack."

"Why do you not sound happy about me meeting the pack?" I asked he seemed like the thought pained him.

"I just worry about you being around a lot wolves when you can't defend yourself." He answered but it sounded like a half truth.

"So you're saying that could attack me to hurt or kill me?" I asked now a little worried; I thought these were civilized people like my family who just happened to turn into wolves at will. Not rabid beasts waiting to feast on my human body.

"As unlikely as it is there is always a chance you could accidently offend someone because you don't know wolf customs because you're not a wolf. Even if I spent years explaining it to you I couldn't tell you everything, usually your wolf guides you but you don't have a wolf so you'll need to be careful and don't stray too far from myself and Tyler. If a wolf goes to attack you lie down and show your neck, it will show you're submissive." He tried explaining and I felt dizzy just trying to absorb what he was saying. This all seemed to complicated, it probably would have helped had my dad told me sooner. He shouldn't have kept this secret for so long, especially if there was any chance of us moving here one day. Or maybe he hoped I would be grown up and gone by then. I was 17 almost 18, I wouldn't be living with him much longer. Yet my dad and Tyler would always be here, would always be with the pack. Then there was me, I had no one but them and they had this whole other life and support system, with people like them who understood them. I suddenly hated myself for being so human, so basic. I was weak and here my father was telling me if I was about to be killed by a pack member to just lay there and submit like a weak pathetic human well screw that.

"I would rather die than submit." My voice came out sounding deadly to the point where my father took a step back and it looked like he was having and hard time not bowing his head down.

"Be ready by 7pm." He said and I nodded and he made his way out of the kitchen. I continued to eat my apple while thinking about how this bonfire was going to go. Hopefully nothing too crazy happened, the thought of meeting wolves from the pack was both exciting and nerve wracking.