ch.5 It's irrational

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Harry looked from me to Niall for a moment. Then he resumed eating. I stared at Harry's hands, the hands that had taken two lives and could easily take another. But, they were also the hands that cared for me and were gentle with each of our babies.

Niall nearly chugged down the rest of his food and he headed for the couch before any of us could sigh.

I finished my food quickly and headed over to talk to him but Nonna started coughing violently. 

"Nonna, are you ok?" I asked worriedly.

Nonna nodded.

"Just-just some asthma" she answered.

Niall sat quietly on the couch. He tried to avoid my eyes sor as long as he stared at me.

I sighed loudly. Why was everyone keeping secrets from me? 

"He'll tell you when he's ready" Zayn whispered.

"And when will that be?" I asked rhetorically.

Zayn shrugged his shoulders, unable to answer any of my questions, even though he wanted to.

I sat back down and stared at my protruding belly. I patted it gently, hoping it could act as my crystal ball and tell me why Niall was acting so strange. He kept his gaze on me through most of dinner, as if I was the only one that understood what he meant and what he wanted.

But I didn't. I had no idea why I would know anymore than anyone else, especially not Nonna. 

Speaking of Nonna, what were those pills she had been talking? It was medicinal, right?

I pretended to walk to the bathroom in order to check out the medicine cabinets. But Nonna was too bright to openly leave her medicine in a cabinet. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. If Niall wanted to tell me something, he could just say it. We've always been open like that. Hell, Niall was the one guy that understood my issue with Harry and-and Liam, way back when...

I looked more closely at my face and patted my dark hair to the side. I rubbed my eyes and sighed. None of my children look very much like me, well, except JD. I touched my belly. I hoped that our last baby (yes, this is our last. I don't care what Harry has to say) looked more like me. It's kind of childish but I felt like Harry, Des, and Darcy out ruled me and JD.

My eyes widened as I looked more closely at my face. My hair was dark. My eyes were dark. But someone else looked like a lighter version of myself...

Niall wasn't looking at me, he was looking at Gabriella. He's still in love with Gabriella.

"Hurry up in there" Becky grumbled.

"J-just a sec" I answered hurriedly. 

My fingers twitched to hold something, to move or change something. I wanted to run out to Niall and get him on a plane to see that damned Gabriella. If he was going to mope around and run after girls like Emily that didn't give two shits about him, then he might as well go after the devil herself.

I opened the door and Becky barged in. She slammed it shut without even bothering to wait until I had left. 

I stood there a bit awkwardly as she peed.

"Um" I mumbled.

"I don't even know where it comes from. It's like I drank Niagara Falls" Becky laughed.

I nodded. Since this was Becky's first pregnancy, she was still getting used to peeing about a dozen times a day and feeling crummy.

We headed back to the living room. Becky and I sat next to each other. Tony and Harry plopped down beside us. The kids played on the rug but JD curled up in my lap. I turned to see that Niall was sitting as far away from me as possible.

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