Imaginations May Go Wild | ✔

Stalker

Back then, when I was a little kid and I got myself bruised or injured, my mom used to kiss that hurting spot for me. I, being a kid, then developed this fascination or belief that if you kissed the hurt, it somehow magically managed to fade away slowly and then disappeared all at once.

Now, as I sat in my driving seat with clenched teeth and blood-drained fingers tightly grasping the steering wheel, I wanted my Mom to kiss away the pain. But I knew very well that there was no kidding. She was gone for once and for all.

Feebly, my grip around the steering wheel loosened. Bringing my right hand to my lips, I kissed my palm very lightly as it mixed with salt water and placed it on my chest over the hollow space inside it...

...where, once, my heart used to be.

I hoped uselessly..maybe..it would heal the hurt. But there was no solace. All I saw was darkness.

I was the reason she was hurt.

I wanted to die.

I had a heart of stone when it came to people around me..but when it concerned the people I loved, it had nothing close to hard inside it. Nothing.

So I let my tears fall as my breath hitched. I broke into sobs. I knew I felt only one thing then.

Loneliness.

I drove mindlessly as my life scattered around me and my tears flowed over it like a flood washes away the wrecks of land. I didn't know what had I done so bad as to earn such a great punishment? My bullying was following me now. I had hurt people uselessly. For no reason. I never knew it came back to you. If I had, I wouldn't have touched a single soul.

I lost my mother.

I had a horrible secret to hide from the world.

The only girl I fell for, was hurt because of me.

The only girl I loved, didn't give a damn about my existence.

I wanted to grab every bully, shake his collar and shout out to him, "Don't do this! It will follow you till your death!"

I wanted to hug myself tight and hide in my mother's cashmere shawl. I wanted my mother back! DAMN IT! I WANTED HER BACK...oh God..I felt myself falling apart.

"I need you. Please." I spoke into the hollowness of my car between my sobs. Figuring out, I couldn't drive anymore, I parked my car by a tree and rested my head on the steering wheel, crying silently.

Boys don't cry.

A voice spoke in the back of my head. I straightened. Cruelly wiping my tears away, I sighed deeply. Adjusting my eyes to my surrounding, I made out that my car was parked two lanes behind her house.

A saying knocked at my skull..

A true stalker never follows, he already knows where you are going.

Did my always ending up near her house made me a stalker? I guessed yes.

I thought of driving away and never returning back. I didn't want her near danger. But the problem was that I did want her near me and the bigger problem was that..I was the danger.

I tried my best to drive away..but ended up walking to her house. I was not a stalker, I just wanted to make sure if she was alright. In short, I was an unpaid problem-causing bodyguard.

I peeked through the front window and saw her sitting on the couch in front of the television watching Titanic. A rush of calm spread over my whole attire. Her gentle eyes explored the waters in the movie and shone adorably when Jack spread Rose's arms, air playing with their bodies. They whispered in union..