Imaginations May Go Wild | ✔

Nocturnal

Holding her in my arms, I entered the grey confinements of my room. The silver moonlight lit the place in a soft glow so I didn't bother to switch on the overhead light.

Very gently, I laid her down in my bed on the right side because that's where I used to sleep more often. Once she was comfortable amid the soft pillows, I sat by her feet and took off her black velvet heels very smoothly. Her feet were soft and small in my hands as they found their way out of the painful heels. Placing the shoes on the floor by the bed, I covered her with the sheets and walked over to one of the floor-to-ceiling windows.

The world outside was as peaceful as my inner self. The glimmering water in the lake reflected the full moon hung high in the sky. A foam of clouds roamed around in the skies without a worry in the world. The leaves of the trees ruffled as light breeze flew by. I opened the window widely without a second thought and night air rushed in playing with my hair, caressing my cheeks and bringing a smile to my face. My eyes twinkled with happiness as I finally registered that I got drunk on the universe once again but the difference this time was her presence.

I took my flute out of the drawer and sat on the floor by the window. A feeling of deja vu was hitting me now and then but I ignored it because I knew that I had never had this moment before in my life when I had her all to myself without any intervention from the outside world. Slowly, my lips kissed the flute as I played one of my favourite songs; My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. I missed the nocturne of my piano resting in my music room along with the flute but nonetheless, the piece was really soothing and heavenly.

After three minutes of playing the tune in the night air, I set the flute down in my lap and my eyes traveled to the still silhouette resting over my bed.

"Do you know why I chose grey over all the colors when they painted my room, Hazel?" My voice rippled the silence in the air. I didn't expect a response to my words so I continued.

"There's this thought that I always had in my mind. I found myself observing this a lot that everything doesn't exist in black and white around us. We cannot just point something to be utterly right or wrong in this world. We have to learn to read between the lines. We have to learn to live in the grey." I spoke each and every word slowly and quietly.

"So when they asked 'What color?', I said grey. I wanted to live in the grey. Nobody's perfect around us, neither we need to be. We just have to accept the imperfections, the grey of everyone around us to survive peacefully. Grey is peace in imperfection. Grey is survival in smoke. Grey is reading between the lines. Grey is acceptance of both white and black. Grey is...love." I took a deep breath as the words flowed out of my mouth to her still form.

"Living in this grey, I've learned to accept people for who they are. I am imperfect, I know. I have major flaws in myself and I can never make up to you for them but I don't need perfection. I know I'm mad at you for being so crazy and following me to that dirty place. I'm mad 'cause you got drunk and did harm to yourself. It hurts. Damn..it hurts a lot. But still, I accept it. I know you've got reasons for this madness but for once, you should ponder over your reasons and decide, are those reasons valid?" I gave a short pause as a person would give after a question.

"I know I'm not perfect but why are you jumping over the edge and changing yourself for me? I accept you for who you are. You are the best girl in your own way. You don't need to do all this crazy stuff. You are you and I accept it. You are more than what I deserve. Please..I need you to save me. Be my savior instead of destroying your own self. I am suffering and broken but because of you, living in this grey, I have learned to survive in the smoke, to accept both white and black...to love." I felt breathless as my inner self rolled in a turmoil of unknown emotions while I talked to her sleeping soul at such an hour of night.