Break The Cycle

Chapter 5:

Emma POV:

What was I thinking? I let this man take me out, but I just couldn't keep it professional! I had to let him kiss me. And for a moment I thought I could give in to him, then my walls shot back up and old memories rushed in. My own parents abandoning me, foster family after foster family passing me around, the only man I ever loved setting me up to go to jail. Not to mention giving birth to his baby. I couldn't go through it again, I couldn't take the risk. Every time I thought someone cared for me, I'd been let down.

So I pushed him away. It's not like I had to see him again, especially if I changed coffee shops or made my own damn coffee. I was okay with being alone, aside from the few friends from work. They didn't even know my full story.

I made my mind up, I don't care how handsome he is or how completely hot that accent is, I couldn't get involved with him.

Killian POV:

I took Liam's advice and tried to be patient with her. It's not like I couldn't understand her, I'd been screwed over more than my fair share of times. I didn't call or text her, I thought I would let her come around on her own time. I really wanted to keep getting to know her, but I didn't want to push her.

But I wasn't seeing her in the coffee shop anymore. She must have been desperate to stay away from me. I still came back every day though, in the hopes of seeing her again.

A month later I still couldn't get her out of my head. And I tried. I tried taking notice of other women and even flirting with them, but I was stuck on Emma Swan. Finally, one night I couldn't take it anymore and I had a few drinks in my apartment. It probably wasn't the best idea to do that without Liam, or really anybody, to keep me in check, but whatever.

So I texted Emma.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I hope you can forgive me.

I probably would never have the nerve to say that sober, and she probably wouldn't answer me anyway. But in my intoxicated state of mind, it was worth a try.

Naturally I never got a answer, at least not one that I remembered because after that I got into the rum in my liquor cabinet.
Emma POV:

It was midnight on Saturday. Ruby invited me out but I declined. Instead I devoted my time to binge watching Netflix with a pint of Ben and Jerry's to keep me company.

The last thing I expected was a text from him. Of course I couldn't make myself forget about him. I'd thrown myself into work so I wouldn't have time to think during the day, and would be too exhausted to do it at night.

When I read the text I almost threw my phone. What the hell was he apologizing for? I'm the one who stupidly let him get too close for comfort. Now I was about to do something even more stupid. Call it an ice cream and exhaustion induced response.

It's okay, it was my fault. You're forgiven. Don't give it a second thought.

I wanted to get the message across without being too harsh. I had to let him know that I was no good for him, and he shouldn't waste his time. Then my phone went off again.

No Emma, I shouldn't have gone too fat. My brother says to have parents, so I will.

Too fat? Have parents? I was confused for a moment before I realized that auto correct was messing with his texts. I assumed it meant far and patience. Wait, what brother? I decided to reply one more time before giving up for the night.

Don't waste your patience on me. I'm not worth your time. Goodnight Killian.

And with that, I wanted to be done.

Yes you are. I miss seeing you and your pretty bright bug to match your hair at the coffee shop. I swear I won't let you down like you think I will. Give me a chance.

He had to be drunk, why else would be compare my hair to my car? I didn't bother replying, he might not remember this in the morning anyway. However, one thing he said really got to me. He wouldn't let me down? It's like he knew what I went through.

I rolled my eyes and scolded myself. There weren't many people who could understand what I went through, and he probably wasn't one of them. I decided to silence my phone and go to sleep, it seemed like the best way to handle things right now.

Killian POV:

The next morning I woke up to a killer headache, which was not helped by someone banging around in the kitchen.

"Look who's up!" My brother practically shouted.

"Not so loud!" I moaned.

"Not my fault you were up all night drinking away your sorrows. How very grown up of you, Killian." He accused me.

Then he brought breakfast over to me. I had evidently passed out on the couch the night before. I couldn't remember a damn thing I had done. So I guess it was a good thing I did it at home where I could damage property or a person.

"Killian," Liam began, I could tell this was going to be a lecture, "I told you to handle your feelings for Emma, but this is not how."

"How do you know this is about Emma?" I asked him.

He held up my phone and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh no!" I groaned and dropped my head in my hands. "I didn't..."

"But you did!" He rejoiced with laughter. So glad this amused him. "Don't worry, I sent her a text and explained."

I snatched my phone from him. Knowing Liam, this would be potentially embarrassing.

Emma, this is Killian's brother Liam. I apologize for the distress he may have caused you, at the moment he's passed out on his couch from drinking too much and he gets a bit overworked when he's had too much to drink.

I supposed it could have been worse, he could have told her about how I've been whining to him for the past month about wishing she would talk to me or see me. But given my texts, she wouldn't be able to doubt my feelings for her now. Maybe she would let me in now that she saw I might actually care for her.