Break The Cycle

Chapter 20:

Killian POV:

I was losing my mind. I did this to myself, I know, but wanted to know how Emma was. Was she okay? Happy? I'm sure she was with me making a wreck of her life.

But it killed me not to see her. I was so in love with that woman, I needed her with every fiber of my being.

Of course I told the therapist that, and she encouraged it. She said it meant that I truly regretted what I had done, and that was progress.

Today was almost a month after it happened, and I was out and about. I needed the fresh air and to get out of that house. The memories drove me insane. I was in a department store, looking to brighten up the house when I saw her.

First I saw the blonde hair, unmistakable to me. Then she turned to the side and I saw her face. The face I hadn't seen in a month. I wanted to go to her, to beg on my knees for her to forgive me. But I knew I shouldn't. Instead I admired her from a distance.

Then she realized I was watching her. Her eyes went wide with fear and she froze for a moment. Then a boy came into view, Henry. So he was living with her now. I knew she could do it. By the looks of things they were shopping for their house. When he had her attention, she ushered him away as fast as she possibly could. I didn't try to follow her, I went about my business.

That little encounter showed me that she might never be able to forgive me. I was okay with that. I would like to apologize to her, but I didn't expect forgiveness. I just wanted her to know how sorry I was.

I finished my shopping and left, but when I got home I didn't have the motivation to do anything.

Emma POV:

What was he thinking?! Did he follow me there? The idea scared the crap out of me, especially now that I had Henry. Things were going well. We were a little over a month away from the court date that would determine if he would be legally mine. I was still seeing the lawyer regularly, and he had assured me that, based on the changes I had made and my commitment to living in that house, I should have no problem getting custody of Henry.

But seeing Killian shook me up. I couldn't have somebody like that around me, it could effect Henry and whether or not I was allowed to keep him.

That night, I was so afraid for or safety I locked the house tight and made sure Frank slept in Henry's room. He usually did, but this time I doubled checked. When I did, Henry was asleep in his bed, and Frank was on his under a blanket. Crazy dog. When I went to lay down, Hansel and Gretel automatically jumped up with me. Every night this was a routine, and they loved sharing the empty side of the bed with each other.

I made sure my gun was in the drawer next to me, and he loaded magazine on my closet shelf. Now that I had Henry, I separated the two out of interest of his safety. He knew what my gun was and he knew never to touch it. I told him I would teach him to use it when he got older.

I laid awake that night, listening to the gentle purring of my cats. I didn't know why I had this irrational fear. Before I left, I could see that look in Killian's eyes. He regretted what he'd done, but I didn't give him a chance to say it. I bolted before his anger took over again. I knew him, and the side I saw of him was something strange, not ordinary. It wasn't my Killian.

The next day I had to go back to work. The weekend was over. Henry enjoyed going to the local school. I had registered him as soon as I knew what day he would be starting. I enjoyed my job, most of the people that I helped respected me. A few tried to flirt, and I passed them on to someone who wasn't as easy going. I found the best approach was to not treat them like a criminal, none of them had done anything gruesome like rape or kill. A lot of them were like me when I was younger, making stupid decisions. Those were the ones I really took under my wing and tried to turn around. Most of the people I worked with, I never saw again. Hopefully for a good reason.

Henry's court date finally came, I dressed the both of us in our best clothes and we made our way to the courthouse on a beautiful Thursday morning. I hoped the sunny weather was a good omen.

The first person they talked to was the social worker that handled Henry's case. She reported that he seemed happier and more outgoing with me. He had been more engaged at school and was much more social than he had been in Boston. Then came my turn to speak.

I talked about how I regretted not being able to care for Henry when he was born, and that now that I truly had my life together, I was determined to give him everything I could. My lawyer spoke on my behalf, stating that, upon finding out I could regain my son, I had changed jobs to provide more stability and security, and signed a long term lease on a house fit for a family.

Then Henry was called. He went on and on about how excited he was to have his mom back since he never had a family. He was happy with his room and with my friends, especially since one of them had a son his age. He talked about Frankie, Hansel, and Gretel and his room full of books that he loved to read.

In the end, the judge ruled that I was to be given custody of Henry. I was now not only biologically his mother, but legally too.