Break The Cycle

Chapter 47:

Emma POV:

Dammit, two little pink lines, plain as could be. I held onto the counter for support as I started hyperventilating. I eventually got a handle on my emotions and talked myself down from the impending panic attack.

Killian is prepared to marry you in a month, a baby won't change that. If anything, he'll be excited.

But then there was Henry. How would he feel seeing his mother have another baby and then keep it, when she gave her first born away? Would he resent his brother or sister?

This was utter crap. I wanted kids with Killian, but later on.

I heard a door slam shut. I wasn't going to tell him in front of Henry, I was pretty sure I could only make myself tell one person at a time.

"Emma?" Killian called for me.

I hid the test in the back of the cabinet and steadied myself.

"Hey, how was your day?" I asked Henry.

"Great! Mrs. Nolan gave me a break on homework today." He beamed.

"That's great, kid! So why don't you take Frankie outside? He missed you." I suggested.

"Okay!" Henry dropped his bag on the table and ran to the yard with the giant of a dog behind him.

"What's going on? You never send Henry away unless you need to talk about something." Killian said.

I sighed and wondered where to begin.

"Nothing could make you have second thoughts, right?" I shyly asked.

"Emma, no!" He said with a raise of his eyebrows, "Unless I'm competing with another man for your affections, I'm all yours." He wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Hold on to that thought." I tugged him by the hand to our bedroom and to the adjoining bathroom.

"What's wrong?" He looked so confused.

I braced myself and grabbed the test, clutching it to my chest. Handing it to him was like clenching up for something incredibly painful. Instead, I set it on the counter and continued to face away from him like the coward that I was.

About two seconds later I felt his hands come across my stomach.

"I am never leaving you for as long as we both live." He said into my ear before kissing the side of my head.

I turned around and looked at him with utter shock. "You're not scared? We're not even married yet."

"We will be in a month's time. Love, what in the world are you worried about? We can do this." He assured me.

"I gave Henry up, I don't know how to raise a baby."

"Trust your instincts, no parent knows what their doing the first time they raise a baby."

"And how do you think Henry will feel about this?" Tears were welling up now, I didn't want my son to feel replaced.

"I think he might struggle a bit at first, but he's old enough to know that we both love him and there is enough room in our hearts for his little sister."

"Sister?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's a girl, I feel it." He placed his hand on my stomach again.

"I'm the one carrying the baby, I think that's up to me to judge."

"Emma, I love you, Henry, and this baby. Nothing can change that, we can do this." He pulled me close and cradled my head in his hand.

"I just wasn't prepared for it to happen so soon." I admitted.

"Me either. But I like to think that everything happens for a reason, this baby will be a blessing." He soothed my worries. He always did.

Killian POV:

I was terrified but I couldn't let Emma see that. I was so happy, of course, I would never leave this child. They say abused kids grow up one of two ways, repeating the cycle of abuse, or refusing to. I would never do anything to harm my children, I will not be my father. I just didn't know how to begin to raise a baby. Henry was different, he was older, but a baby could only cry as communication. They're so fragile and need so much constant care.

But I did just tell Emma to follow her instincts as a mother, so I should do the same.

That night, I was awake until 3 in the morning Googling everything about babies and the ways they bond with their fathers. I learned that at some point, this baby would be able to hear me, and would end up recognizing my voice after he or she is born.

Thank God the next day was Saturday, I had gone to sleep awfully late. Emma was on her computer when I strode into the kitchen, Henry was eating lunch nearby.

"Hey sleepyhead." She said in greeting. "It's eleven, did you have a rough night?"

"Aye, I couldn't seem to sleep." I strode over and kissed her good morning and winked. She smirked in return.

"My appointment with a doctor is on Monday morning, I was able to schedule it through their website." She said in a low voice so Henry wouldn't hear.

"I'll be sure to take the day off, love." I rubbed her back briefly before going to make a meal for myself.

"Have you eaten?" I asked.

"Actually, not yet." She replied and shut her laptop.

"You should eat." I pointed out and made sandwiches for the both of us.

"Right. Henry, can we talk?" She asked her son. The bread slipped from my hands, I had no idea she wanted to tell him so soon.

"What's up?" He said, folding his arms on the counter next to his mother.

"Can you keep a secret until the wedding?" She asked carefully.

"Sure, I guess."

"I mean it Henry, it has to stay between all of us." She warned.

"I promise." He said with a cheeky grin.

"Okay, well, would you ever want siblings one day?" She was testing the waters, trying to figure out how to break the news.

"Yeah, Roland's great, but he can't be over here all the time." He smiled excitedly.

"Well, lad, your mother and I didn't plan it, but it looks like you'll have a new brother or sister in the months to come." I blurted or so Emma wouldn't have to.

Henry looked at Emma, who nodded, then down to his lap, then grinned at both of us.

"This is awesome! The whole time I was in foster care all I wanted was parents and brothers and sisters!" He moved over and hugged Emma, then ran around the counter and hugged me too.

"I'm glad you feel that way, kid." She beamed. "But let's keep it to ourselves until the wedding, Killian and I will tell everyone then. We want to surprise them."

"Okay. I can do that." Henry agreed.