Forbidden Love { A Zalfie Fanfic }

Zoe

I plopped down on bed with a slight sigh followed by a large smile. It had been four days since I had last seen Alfie and I missed him a lot. Luckily we had constantly been in contact since we parted ways. Each and every night at 8 o'clock Alfie and I would skype. It was amazing seeing his face.

This particular night I wasn't feeling too well. I felt sick but I also felt bad emotionally. Earlier in the day I had gotten a text from Louise. She had asked me how my relationship with Alfie was going. I told her it was going great and everything. 

Then she told me the same thing Tanya had told me. How Alfie and I needed to tell our viewers. This freaked me out a lot. I had started panicking a lot more often and I didn't want to tell the viewers. I couldn't tell the viewers. 

This Skype call with Alfie was going to be different from the rest. I was going to tell him how I felt and then hang up and go to bed. I was afraid I would chicken out, but this was the only way I knew how to do it. I was so afraid that Alfie would end things after I told him though. 

Promptly at eight I clicked the call button on Alfie's face. My screen lighting up and making its usual clicking noises. I waited for about ten seconds before Alfie's face started to appear on the screen. My face lit up in a gigantic smile. 

"Hey Alf," I said all worry of what I was about to tell Alfie disappearing upon seeing his face. I didn't even know if I was going to tell him at this point. My brain subconsiously started to debate about whether I should or not. 

"Zoe," he said grinning back with a smile almost as large as mine. 

My brain had made a desicion, I was going to tell Alfie. In the long run I knew it would be for the best. Even though I wanted to spend all night being all lovey-dovey with Alfie this had to be done. I kept thinking that in my head at least.

"So there's something I wanted to talk to you about," I said quietly. A little piece inside of me wanted him to not hear me. Then I could forget everything and we could just chat. 

"What would that be?" he asked looking directly at me. I immeadiately turned my head away from the camera. To distract myself from the things that were currently happening I started to play with the hem of my shirt. Flipping it over and over again in my fingers. 

I started to cry. 

"I don't want to tell the viewers," I began, "Like ever."

"Zo don't cry. We don't have to tell them anything. They aren't important. It's just you and me. You and me."

When he said this I began to cry even more. I tried to hide it and continued to reach my arm up to my face and wipe away tear after tear. I knew Alfie hated when I cried. The next thing I was about to say really was going to break me though. 

"Alfie, I love you so much but I don't know if we're going to work out. The stress is too much for me to handle," I practically whimpered to him. 

"Zoe, don't say that. We can make it work," he said quickly looking up at me. I could see his eyes welling up as well. 

"Okay," I said in not more than a whisper. "I- I love you Alf," I stuttered. And I did love him, more than words could explain. 

"I love you too," he said as some tears rolled down his cheeks into his lap. "You've made me cry," he said with a laugh. She was too much for me. I started to giggle but quickly stopped. I needed to go. I needed time to be by myself. 

I gave Alfie our standard goodbye, 'see you soon.' It was better than goodbye. I could tell Alfie was flustered since I was ending the call earlier than we usually do. Right before he disconnected the call I spoke again. 

"I love you," I whispered before the screen went black. The shut my laptop with a loud noise before pushing it to the very end of my bed. I had a headache and crying was helping me at all. I started to full on sob now. Why did this all have to be so complicated? 

I knew that I should follow Tanya and Louise's advice but I was scared. Much more scared than I would have liked to admit. I curled up into a small ball on my bed, still sobbing. That was when Joe walked into my room. 

"What's wrong Zo?" he asked looking a bit worried. 

"Nothing," I said with a small sniffle. I didn't want him to worry about something stupid liked my current boyfriend. He wouldn't care. The weird part was I still didn't know if Alfie and I were even a thing. I guess we were but I didn't think it would last much longer. 

Alfie would leave me when I got to be too much of a hassle for him and he would find a girl much prettier and nicer than myself. Just the thought made me depressed. 

"It doesn't look like nothing," Joe said sitting beside me on my bed. 

"It's not," I said another wave of tears coming upon me. Joe reached out his arms to hug me and I held tight to him letting the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. Joe had never been this affectionate to me but I wasn't complaining. I just needed someone to comfort me and he was that someone. 

___________

"I already told you Zoe," Louise said in a somewhat annoyed voice. It was the day after I had spoken with Alfie and I still felt like complete shit. It was that time of the month and I think I had the flu. It didn't help that I had cried myself to sleep the night before. 

I had been asking Louise for some advice on how to keep mine and Alfie's relationship in a good place and she was getting quite angry at me. She knew how I didn't want to tell the viewers but she continued to tell me that that was the only way for me to be happy. 

I didn't want to believe her. 

"I don't know Louise, I just can't," I said fixing my hair a bit. My dad was having friends over for lunch and he had told Joe and I to look presentable, whatever that meant. 

"Well you're going to have to. Matt is calling me, got to go. See you at Harry Potter Studios!" Louise said with a little shriek of joy. She hung up before I could say good bye. 

I turned off my phone a little angrily and sat it down on my dresser. Hopefully all of this would blow over and Alfie and I could be a proper couple again. 

"Zoe, Joe!" my dad called from down the hallway. I groaned, now was when I had to be 'presentable.' I walked down the hallway knocking on Joe's room on my way to the living room. I was so thankful for everything he had done for me yesterday. He didn't really do anything, but being there was enough. 

I stepped into the living room and smiled at the family who stood before me. I hadn't ever seen them before which was odd. My dad loved to have people over. I didn't think there was a single person in all of Bath that I had never met before. 

There was a wife and a husband, I'm guessing as well as a son who looked to be about my age. 

"Zoella, I've watched your videos on Youtube before, they're lovely" the boy said shaking my hand. I looked at him then at my dad, a look that I hope clearly said 'have I met these people before.' 

"Thanks, but you can call me Zoe." 

Thanks for reading lovelies!!! I hope you are all having a lovely day or night or afternoon, where ever you are in the world and I just want you to know that someone out there loves you! ^_^ xxx