"You want to go find your brother, and I want to find my best friend. Since you're crazy and do dangerous things you can't go alone. Since I have no clue where to start or even how to, I can't go alone."
"And since us together alone is haram..."
"we...
I would've updated sooner but my brother decided to fracture my finger, like geesh man. I was there just happily reading and there he goes hulk smashing that soccer ball of his right into my face. My poor fingers saved my face but sacrificed one of their buddies :(
#ripLittleFinger
Rafa's pov
I couldn't help it. I started laughing.
I gripped my stomach, the pain of my hyena laughing becoming unbearable. I didn't know why I was laughing this hard, maybe it was how Mikhail looked when he said it, all sick and cold. Tears erupted my eyes and I choked on my breath as Mikhail started walking away in the direction of our hotel room.
"Waf waiht." I gasped out toppling over in the snow.
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I tried to roll out while still laughing hard but it was useless and I was stuck, "Mi-.Mikhail!" I yelled through my gasps of chuckles and I saw his head appear right above me, I lifted my hand as he glared at me.
He rolled his eyes and pulled me up before walking again. I quickly tried to control my laughter as I caught up to him, "sorry ok ok I'll sto-" I went into another fit of laughter as he stomped through the snow. I scurried after and sniffed my tears in.
"I'm good now I'm good," I mumbled trying to tame my breathing. He threw me an ugly scowl and moved to the side, pulling me with him, as a car passed. He let go off my hand and continued walking, pulling his hood on tighter.
I didn't say anything as we got into the elevator to go up to our room, I didn't say anything as he sat on the bed and took the medicine I brought him and I didn't say anything as he folded the photograph and placed it in his wallet.
But then I couldn't wait any longer. "So why'd you..you know?" I mumbled a bit later biting my smile, knowing he was messing with me again.
He looked up and I quit smiling.
His eyebrows were furrowed with hurt and his eyes were more red than usual, he sniffled from his nose rubbing a tissue over his nostrils. Mikhail's almost always never serious but right now I got a dose of this mood of his.
"What was his name?" I whispered removing all traces of hysteria from my face. I slowly sat beside him on the bed turning my body towards him but he stared at the carpet at our feet, sniffling from time to time.
"Mahad." He replied a few seconds later.
"I love that name," I mumbled and he nodded, "yeah, everyone did. And not just the name, they loved everything he did. From his intellect to his ability to play any instrument and sport," he took out the photograph again, flattening out the creases before rubbing a thumb over his brothers face.
"So why'd yo-.." I stopped not knowing how to continue, he seemed to understand though as he let out a sigh, he rubbed his forehead and began.
"I was six, a year before I met you and Raif. He was seventeen, it was the day he got his two scholarships from the same university. He was on the phone with my father, who was nothing but always so proud of him. Mahad loved playing the piano, he'd always have some mistakes yet my father would encourage him rather than what he does with me," he turned his head away and sniffed his nose, coughing a bit.
"Anyways, we were playing down by the lake, it was a cold day, the lake was frozen over. He was helping me with my soccer skills because the following week there was going to be a soccer tournament," Mikhail took another intake of breath through his mouth and continued, "but he was on the phone the whole time, I tried to get his attention. I wanted him to look at me and point out things like he usually did, but he just kept smiling me and motioning one minute while my father talked to him."
"He was my father's prize possession, he was going to take over his company willingly and happily," Mikhail closed his eyes, "but I was mad, he was going to move away from me, he was going to not have time for me anymore. Just as he didn't right now..I threw the ball at him. Hard. I just wanted his phone to fall out so he could play with me again. But the phone didn't fall, instead he did. Onto the lake and then through ice, his body plunging into the freezing water." He took a shuddering breath and it seemed as if he couldn't talk any more but after a few seconds he continued.
"I was scared, Mahad was a good swimmer but how could he swim through ice? I stumbled over to the edge of the lake and tried to peer in, my face was wet with tears as I heard a distance shouting. My mother was yelling, screaming. She pushed me away and I watched as she crawled on her knees and screamed into the ice."
"But he never came back up, by now my tears were frozen on my face. My mother turned to me and took my by the collar of my jacket pulled me up and shook me as she yelled. I had killed her first son, through all the things she screamed at me that was all I caught because my own brain was in havoc." Mikhail put his head in his hands as I put my hand on his shoulder, "Mikhail it's not your faul-"
He shook his head, "it is. My mother said so. And mothers never lie Rafa."
I gently peered his hands from his face and was about to speak until he continued, "the police couldn't find his body, my father paid thousands yet they couldn't. My mother never told my father what I did, if she had I don't think I'd be alive today." He mumbled and then grabbed a tissue, wiping his nose.
A flashing pain shot through my chest as I watched him in this state, "Mikhail listen, you can't kill someone you love, it's always by accident. You were six for goodness sakes, what six year old doesn't get mad if not given attention?"
My words seemed to make no impact as he got up, running a hand through his hair, he met my eyes before saying, "thank you for listening Rafa but I need some..time now, I'll be back." He grabbed his jacket off the sofa and walked out the door in the blink of an eye.
I sighed as I felt a drop of water run down my cheek. I need to bring happy Mikhail back, but what if that side of him was just an act.
The ones in the most pain smile the hardest, Raif once said to me. And it's up to the people that love them to heal their wounds.
