Fade to Black (sequel to riptide)

Part 24

3 months later

I woke up facing Jacksons back. We fought last night. I don't like fighting with him but I was right and he was wrong so it was necessary. I felt bad and I wanted to make it up to him but I also had to work. I looked at my phone and saw that I still had 2 hours. I saw him stir so I looked over at him. He looked at me then looked away. We went to bed on bad terms but I had time to think about it and I was over it.
"Baby?" I say quietly.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"You are?"
"Yes really sorry. I don't like fighting with you and there was no need for it although I was right still I should've let it go."
"You had every right to be upset. It is your wedding."
"No I didn't were supposed to do this together and I was being a complete bitch about it."
"You were right. And very passionate about it."
"I was. I want everything perfect when I get married to my perfect man."
"Mhm." He grabs my hand and pulls me on top of him. I squeal.
"You're so perfect." He says kissing me quickly.
"Babe I have 2 hours till I have to work."
"Ok then go get ready."
"Or...."
"Or..." He mocks not sure what I mean.
"Or we can have sex."
"Or you can go get ready before you run out of time."
"It's two hours that's plenty." I lean into his neck.
"No Lauren."
"Ugh fine. I'll go take a shower you loser." I went into the bathroom and took my long shower then grabbed a towel wrapping it around my body. I walked into the room and saw Jackson still sitting there. I dropped my towel and he looked up before slacking his jaw.
"Whoops." I said running a finger down my body's line of symmetry if you catch my drift. Beginning at my chin.
"Shit." Jackson mutters looking down at his bulging pajama pants. I smirk before crawling over him. I kiss him for a while before backing up and proceeding to the closet to get changed. I hear him whisper under his breath.
"Mother Fucking tease."
I giggled before changing my clothes. When I went back. He was not there in bed. I put in my makeup then gathered my stuff heading downstairs. I went to the kitchen where I heard him cooking. His bare back was facing me so I went up wrapping my arms around his body. I kissed his back lightly then returned to pressing my head against his back.
"Do you have to film today?"
"No because I'm going to Australia next week."
"Oh right do you have to?"
"Yes my love but it's only 3 weeks."
"You make it seem as though that isn't a long time."
"It isn't."
"But I'm going to miss you so much. We barely see each other as it is."
"You have a job. I have a job. It won't be that bad though. It's practice for when you go on tour."
"But you're coming on tour."
"Yeah about that..."
"No babe! No! You cant do this.!"
"Hey look it's only like 2 weeks that I won't be there."
"Why?"
"Uhm it overlaps with the schedule for a movie in doing."
"Ok babe I'm not as upset now."
I place kisses all over his bare back and move my hands up his abdomen and chest.
"I really love you."
"I really love you too baby girl."
"Mhm I like it when you call me that."
"You do?"
"Yeah you haven't called me that in ages."
"Hm you know what you haven't called me in ages?"
"What?"
"Sexy. I mean I know I am but its hot coming out of your mouth." He finished cooking and out it on plates for us and then turned around to me.
"Do you really want me to say it?"
"You are so sexy." I say seductively with a sexual whimper at the end.
"Oh yeah again." He jokes feeding me some food.
"So sexy." I say again going on my tiptoes to place sexy kisses against his ear. He placed his hands in my back pockets caressing my butt. I teased his pantline then separated myself from him and went to start eating my food. He was staring at me.
"What?"
"How do you manage to always keep me on my feet even sexually?"
"I won't ever let you get tired of sex with me. I'm not having some nanny gate shit happen."
"I won't ever get tired of your body."
"Aww how sweet. But seriously were getting a manny when the day comes."
"So you can fuck him I don't think so."
"Fine how about a lesbian nanny."
"Lauren you're bisexual!"
"Oh shit." I smirk biting my finger nail remembering my sexual orientation for a second.
"A gay manny unless there's some bisexuality you want to tell me about." I cock an eyebrow.
"Nope as straight as Jessie James. Get it because he fucked all of those women."
"Please don't compare yourself to man who cheated on his wife with 19 women."
"Ok."
"Now I have to go but I love you and I can't wait to fuck you when I get home."
"Me either have fun. I'll have dinner ready when you get home."
"Honestly you're so precious. A gift from God that was given to me honestly I love you." I peck his lips before leaving the house.
"Lauren." The door opened and I turned around seeing Jackson holding my phone
"Shit thanks baby." I take it out of his hand and kiss him again this time getting in my car to drive to the studio. It's been pretty crazy. In the last week we've set a wedding date, sent out save the date things, decided to have it on a cliff by the beach in Hawaii then have the reception at a local clubhouse like place. We also decided that we would write our vows. We've fought about wedding stuff twice. And not once in the last 3 months have we had proper sex that wasn't fast on the counter or in the car, or not rushed because we've just been moving. I've gone to Dubai, back to Miami, I've gone to New York. We are about to release our new single Work from home and I'm so excited. I get to sing! I know crazy right! Like I actually will be heard on the song and more on the album. Honestly it's amazing. We're about to go to the KCAs where we are nominated. Jacksons going too but he's bringing Tobias because he thinks it'll be special and fun. I'm going with the girls obviously. Everything is really hectic. I rushed off to the radio studio I was doing an interview at. Alone. We are all in different places today splitting up again.
I got to the studio and they told me where to go and I went there. I sat in the seat and put the headphones on.
"And we're back. Now to welcome Lauren Jauregui of firth Harmony here. Welcome Lauren."
"Thank you."
"You look beautiful as always."
"Why thank you."
"This henna art is just gorgeous."
"Thank you so much. Jackson did it."
"Wow that man has skill."
"A steady hand and a good eye. I did his but it's pretty shitty." We both laugh.
"Well how is the wedding planning going."
"Good. Really good. It's coming along."
"Awesome. So Lauren you girls have been working on some new music correct?"
"Yes."
"The single comes out soon yes?"
"That is right."
"What's the feel of this new song."
"It's urban, beat. You know but still that soulful vibe. Pop but still rhythmic and R&B style stuff you know."
"Yeah I got you."
"Is a world tour on the horizon?"
"I don't know. New music so hopefully but nothing planned right now."
"So are you excited about the new music?"
"Extremely."
"That's good lets turn over to some fan formulated questions we have here. Lauren who is your man crush Monday?"
"My fiancé of course."
"No besides him."
"90s Johnny depp forever and always maybe young Leonardo dicaprio."
"Who is your woman crush Wednesday?"
"Kehlani love her. She's such a beautiful soul you know. I love her music and her personality and what she speaks about and all of that. She's a wonderful girl."
"Did you know that attempted suicide on Monday supposedly after being attacked on social media?"
"Oh my god! What? No I didn't. That's terrible." My hand goes to my mouth to cover it and keep my tears from falling.
"I'm sorry. I'm getting a little emotional. No one should ever get to that point where they would want to do that."
"Yeah it's very sad." I had an internal battle with myself over whether to tell the world about my own suicide attempt all of those years ago. Then I gave in.
"Years ago when the girls and I were in Hawaii for vacation, I was feeling really depressed. I felt awful, the hate, some family things, an abusive relationship I had just escaped everything became really overwhelming." I start crying and you can hear it a little in my voice. The interviewer gave me a reassuring nod to let me know it was okay if I couldn't continue.
"I tried to take my own life. I had been struggling with self harm for years at the time and I got to a point in my life that I felt as though I wanted to end it all. I tried to make it look like an accident so no one would feel bad for not noticing. Especially the girls I didn't want them to blame themselves so I tried to drown myself in the ocean. It clearly failed because I'm here today happy and whole. A guy swam into the water and dragged me off the sea floor. He let the girls and I stay with him so he could take care of me without the paps knowing. As I was rehabilitating and getting better, he made me realize how loved I am with the people that surround me and how selfish it was to want to take myself out of every person I touched's lives. He helped me stop self harming and to heal completely and now I haven't cut in almost three or four years. I wanted to know how I could ever repay him for everything he did for me. I thought I might never see him again but I was wrong because I'm going to be marrying him." I wipe the tears without smudging my makeup and fanning my eyes a bit.
"Wow Lauren. That must have been a lot to admit right now. Look how far you've come though."
"yeah. It's crazy because i never thought there was a way that I would ever get out of that place but I did and now I'm the happiest I've ever been. I know that the people in my life are here to stay and if they don't, fuck them it's their loss, it's not a reflection on me. I'm more comfortable in my own skin like I feel beautiful there's no one else id rather be. I don't let my situation define me. My depression took me over and now I don't let anything have control over me or my life except me. It's so amazing, it's an amazing feeling."
"I mean wow Lauren that's an amazing story. I'm so proud of you. I mean I can't imagine this world with only four girls in the group. You're so dynamic. Is there a specific message that you want to send to people struggling through self harm, suicidal thoughts, depression?"
"Don't do it. It will be the worse decision ever. It's not worth it because all though you may not believe you can make it through. You are stronger than you think. This is just an obstacle into who you were meant to be. There is someone out there to love you and there will be shitty people in your life don't let that make a decision like that for you. You are beautiful and strong and wanted. There is love for you in this fucked up society somewhere. It may be dark and scary but keep walking and you'll see the light. It's there. You just have to look harder. Don't hurt yourself please and please don't kill yourself please it's not worth it. Please stay strong."
"That was a beautiful message. A powerful message. I don't know how to follow that up. So Uhm Lauren what do you...shit I'm about to ask a stupid question after that beautifully worded message. What's your biggest fear?"
"Ignorance. It's scary what people think and the way some people's minds work. It's frightening sometimes that people are so close minded and uneducated sometimes. It's really scary."
The interview went on for a while exchanging answers to their questions before it was over and it was time to leave. I got home and Jackson was standing there shirtless sort of sweaty in a hot way like just a glaze.
"Nice interview. I'm proud of you."
"Uh huh." I sort of dismiss him continuing to check out his body whilst biting my lip.
"Are you ignoring me and just staring at my abs?"
"Uh huh." I walk towards him slowly.
"But I haven't been working out."
"I love how you don't take notice of how sexy you are. You're body is impeccable and you're just oblivious." I connect our lips together ton my tip toes trying to keep it held.
"I made food."
"Mhm." I kiss him again wrapping my arms around his neck.
"You wanna go eat?"
"No." I mumble into his lips backing him up against the couch.
"Why not?" He asks. I basically straddle him grabbing his neck on both sides pulling me up into him. I run my hands in his hair tangling my fingers in it. My hands move down his chest. Our lips stay connected moving together. His hand goes on the side of my head into my hair pushing it back.
"Mhm baby." I mumble.
"You sure you don't want to eat.?"
"You want me to blow you?" I ask instead hiding my smirk. He looked shocked.
"Uh..."
"Mhm you want me?" I ask placing kisses on his neck.
"Yeah but I made food."
"You sure?" I kiss onto his chest feeling his breathing get scattered.
"You want this?" I pull off my jacket. And pull the collar of my shirt down revealing the lace bra I was wearing and unbuttoned my pants opening it up to see the matching lace black panties I was wearing as well. His eyes widened a bit then his pupils dilated and darkened. He licked his lips then leaned in connecting our lips. He gripped my thighs and stood up with my legs wrapped around him. He places me on the island in the kitchen, I can smell the food he made and it made me so hungry but I was more horny than hungry at the moment. He starts kissing my neck then his teeth latched onto my shoulder. I pulled his head back up then kissed him once again. He laid me down on my back against the island them climbed above me. He placed his thumb in my mouth. I sucked it before he brought it over my lips. He moved it down the area by my pants line.
"You hungry baby?" I ask pulling off my shorts gently. His eyes glow looking down at my glistening area.
"All you." I say and he licks his lips. He shook his head breaking himself out of a trance. His lips latched onto my neck kissing and sucking letting a slight moan to emit from my mouth. He moved back up locking out lips. I felt his finger slide gently down my side reaching the hem of my soaked panties. I felt his hand slip inside them. Suddenly the contact is lost. I look at him as he gets off the island walking to the sink to wash his hands after finishing he returns to his position taking two of his own fingers and sucking on them. They slipped into my panties and I felt him stroking the area that was getting progressively more moist. He continues stroking forcing whimpers and slight moans out of me. He wastes no time sticking both fingers in. They move in and out of me at a slow pace to begin then get progressively faster.
"Oh my god! Yes! Huh uh!" I moan. He continues his action being in me all sorts of feelings. His fingers slow down and somehow move deeper inside. It begins to feel a little odd. Hurts a little.
"Wait....are you.....are you wearing a ring?" I manage out while barely catching my breath.
"I think so why?"
"Ow....baby stop. Baby it hurts."
"What do you mean it hurts?"
"No not like a good hurt....stop please it actually hurts like pain hurts."
"Oh shit sorry!" He pulls his hand out revealing his silver ring band with engravings and slightly sharp edges. He pulls it off.
"Babe why wouldn't you take that off?" I say a little upset.
"I didn't think about it." I roll off the island from under him pulling my shorts back on.
"That really hurt me." I explain to him as he moves and sits on the island.
"I'm so sorry baby I really am."
"Why would you think it was ok to wear a ring when you're putting your fingers into a highly sensitive part of my body."
"I'm sorry."
"That should've crossed your mind."
"It did sort of but like you always wear your ring when give me a handjob so it thought it was ok. I thought it was hot or something."
"But that is different Jackson. When I do it, you don't feel the sharp diamond or anything inside of you because my fingers don't go in anyway inside of you."
"It didn't process correctly that it was going to hurt you in any way. It won't happen again."
"Yeah it won't happen again. It better not you could've cut me inside then it would hurt to have sex is that what you want?"
"No god no. I don't want that."
"Good be more conscious next time. I shouldn't have to worry about you hurting me when we have sex."
"You won't ever have to worry about that. Come here baby girl I'm sorry." He grabs my hand and pulls me in closer. He wraps his arms around my my neck and pulls me in so that my head is against his abdomen.
"Can we eat that food now. I'm not in a sexy mood anymore."
"Yeah that's fine baby here let's eat." He jumps off and walks over grabbing two plates for us and serving p the meal.