Fade to Black (sequel to riptide)

Part 29

Lauren's pov
We started tour a few days ago and I'm kind of bored. Me and the girls hang out but they all just want to go check out the hot backup dancers which I would love to do if I wasn't getting married. It would just be disrespectful to Jackson. I could never do it plus the guys don't look that hot to me anymore. I mean catch me about a year ago I might've been drooling, figuratively. But Jackson came along and it's different now. Everyone looks different now. I don't check out ass anymore or eye fuck fans that are around my age. I don't flirt or make sexual advances obviously. I don't look at pictures of hot Instagram users or research pictures of Chris Hemsworth's abs. I don't see things in a sexual manner anymore and I'm not depressed as hell and using sex to make me feel better occasionally. I have sex because it feels good and my baby likes it when I do things. That's a huge leap. From filling a void to just being apart of my life. Honestly my life is in a place that I never imagined to be possible. It's so perfect. The only goal I have left to achieve in my personal life besides the one that's halfway done is to have a kid or kids. If I can do that I'll be fulfilled.
Anyways back to the topic. I'm bored. Everybody's doing something that I either can't do or don't want to do and it's frustrating. I decided on just working out with the on tour trainer. He didn't mind it meant he got to work and actually do something. This is the only act Simon hires a trainer to go on tour with them. It may suggest something but hey I still get a free personal trainer while I'm working.
I was working out in one of the rooms with the trainer telling me everything I have to do. Afterwards I looked in a mirror and although sweaty I looked real good. I never would have thought that about myself three years ago. Never did I see myself as potentially being desirable till I met Jackson. Never did I feel worth anything till I met Jackson. My security with my body and who I am really came from my friendship with Jack. You see I'm not saying that any girl needs a guy to tell them their beautiful or to fulfill their life but it feels pretty damn good when someone makes you feel beautiful. He did that for me.
Nonetheless I turned checking out my ass in these athletic leggings. It looked perfect. Honestly. It was the kind of ass I look for in other people. I took a picture and sent it to my boo. I got a reply back really soon.
'Zamn mama your ass looks hella fine.'

I laughed at his reply. I sent the same picture to Dinah and Mani because why not. After taking a shit ton more photos of myself, I left that room and headed back to the bus with my hat on since fans were outside and I was sweaty and disgusting. I know it's contradicting to what I said before but I was sweaty and red faced a little. I needed a shower. I walked in the bus as cheers erupted seeing me. The rest of the girls were sitting on the couches.
"Hey guys!" I say. I drop my stuff.
"Hey Lau!" Ally says cheerily.
"I'm going back inside to shower ok?"
"Yeah that's fine." Ally says. The others were engrossed in their phones. I left heading inside to shower and change into a new pair of clothes. After I finish I hang around the stadium still bored. Jackson joins the tour soon so I will never run out of things to do. I want to go explore the areas we are in but guess who won't let me? Management. They want me safe in the bus and not going out without the girls in order to save face. Everyone has been freaking out because in interviews we've talked about our inevitable end. Seriously were not the fucking backstreet boys were not going to be doing this shit at 40 years old singing the same type of songs for he same genre to the same audience. We are going to mature, change, evolve, and branch out. Especially with our lives changing. I'm getting married and I'll eventually have kids and I'm gonna want to do my own music and such. I mean everything is going to eventually have its end.
Anyways we handsome meet and greets interviews and then it was showtime. After that we packed up and headed to the next place. Everything was calm and going extremely well.

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Jacksons supposed to be joining the tour tomorrow. I haven't heard from him in a few days and it's worrying me. No texts no snaps. I don't like what's happening. It's giving me bad vibes. I feel like he's hurting but I don't know why. I didn't do anything so I'm not sure why exactly he's hurting. I just feel it in my gut as if we are connected. I get these stomach aches and things of that nature and it all seems connected to him.
I was laying in my bunk as we drive to the next place. My curtain was pulled back revealing Dinah.
"Lau have you talked to Jack in a while?"
"No I haven't I think something's wrong. I have this feeling."
"Me too but it's just not like him to ignore us that's why I'm worried."
"It's different for me. I feel physically sick as if he's hurting. I hate it."
"Call him later. I'm worried."
"Ok."
She disappears back to her bunk and I pull out my phone typing him texts.
Wife-to-be💍: baby are you ok?
Wife-to-be💍: I don't like being in the dark about you😕
Wife-to-be💍: you're really worrying me I'm getting this feeling that somethings really wrong I'm sick to my stomach like you're hurting it sounds weird but I feel like you're hurting and I want to know why😩
Wife-to-be💍: Jackson please fucking answer me I'm worried. Tell me your ok!