Backfire | Harry Styles AU COMPLETED

Chapter Thirty Seven

The walk to Louis' dorm is extremely short, while I was wishing it would have been longer so I'd have time to think; More so about what to say than anything. The last time we talked, we didn't say goodbye on a good note, but after a few weeks of being apart I hope we can rekindle what we had. Selfishly, Louis was and is the closest person to me here and I truly have missed his friendship, but if he needs time, so be it.

As I stand in front of the wooden door, I stare at the fading numbers in the center deciding whether to knock or try again tomorrow. Shaking my head I pound lightly on the door and close my eyes as I wait for a response.

"You know Adelina, if I was really that hideous you should have told me before. Is it the shirt? My mum got it for me."

I snap my eyes open and focus on the boy in front of me. Louis' hands are placed on his hips, exposing me to the interesting pattered shirt he's wearing. His hair is combed neatly to the side while the hair on his face is light, letting me see his tanned skin and bright blue eyes.

"Louis." I breathe, wrapping my arms around him, making his body tense, but relax quickly and put his arms around me as well. I grin into his shoulder, feeling better already.

I feel Louis begin to pull away, but I hold on for a few more seconds making him laugh.

"Sorry." I giggle, taking a step back from him before following him in the dorm. His walls are covered in band posters and a few pictures of his brothers and mom. I'm sure he misses them like crazy.

The further I walk into the space the more drawings and paintings I see scattered across the floor and desk. My eyebrows pull together as I examine them from a far, I can't tell what each one means but I do know that they are insanely good.

"Did you draw those Lou?" I ask, reaching for the drawing on the desk. I bring my bottom lip between my teeth as I run my fingers across the edges, admiring the haunting work. Done in black and white pencil, Louis has sketched what looks like a hospital room, with a figure crouched in the corner, surrounded by bold words like idiot and failure. I feel my eyes prick with tears as I set the paper back down.

I turn to him slowly, wiping the tears that escaped. Louis' eyes are wide as he stares at me, waiting for a response.

"Was that a drawing of you?" I ask him slowly, scared of what he may say but heartbroken that he felt that way. I watch Louis nod his head and sink onto his bed, making my heart sink as well.

I quickly sit beside him, clutching his hand within mine, showing that I care. I need to know why he did this and how long it had been going on. I have so many questions.

And like he could read my mind he turns slightly and sighs. "My last year of what you'd call high school, I began to be severely bullied by a few of my class mates because my family didn't have as much money as theirs. My parents both worked their asses off, even though they got divorced my dad still sent us money to keep us going. As the semester went on and football started, the people who I thought were my friends started joining in with the bullies, and it even began to get physical. I'd come home with rips in my jersey and my mum would stay up so late trying to patch the holes. Eventually she got curious and I didn't even have the guts to tell her. Then, a few of my real friends were going out for a drink one Friday and they invited me. I didn't think that the whiskey I poured down the back of my throat was going to feel as good as it did. I didn't think it would ease the pain I felt, but it did." Louis' voice cracks at the end of his story and I can tell he is hurting as he thinks about where all of this started.

"I knew it was beginning to get bad when I craved the taste, wanting to feel that way again. And up until I got help, I felt that way almost every night."

I nod, taking in the new found information. "I'm sorry Louis, I wish I would have known so I could've helped you. I'm an awful friend." My eyes fill with tears again and I curse my emotional self.

Yet Louis surprises me by laughing and wiping under my eyes, "you did help me, Addie! You were the reason I wanted to get help. You haven't given up on me and I was afraid if I didn't change you wouldn't want to be seen with me."

It's my turn to laugh at his statement and I shake my head, trying to rid him of those thoughts. "Even if you were still drinking I would never give up on you, you deserve the best the world has to offer." I smile widely at my best friend, who returns the gesture before hugging me tightly.

And thats when one of the greatest ideas of all time hits me.

I pull away and stand up, placing my hands on my hips. "Louis, what are you doing after finals?" I ask, making him raise his eyebrows at me. "Nothing... what's going through that head of yours?" He asks, watching me warily.

"I doubt Charlotte is doing anything either so how about the three of us take a road trip?! It would be so much fun just to get away from everything that has happened this semester. Please?" I beg, almost bending down onto my knees.

"And go where and do what? There's not that much to do around here Addie." Louis bargains making me groan with a roll of my eyes. "We could find things to do, thats pretty much the gist of a road trip." I reply.

Louis stands and runs his hand through his hair. "Okay tone it down with that attitude Addie, did you pick that up from Harry?" As soon as the name slips off his tongue, Louis slaps a hand over his mouth.

"Shit, fuck, dammit. Charlotte told me and I'm sorry about all that by the way. I was told not to say anything and I fucked up. You're right, we do need a road trip." I can't help but laugh as my best friend rambles, and I smile wider when I realize that Harry's name didn't cause a burning in my chest... well not as much, and I know that this is what moving on feels like, and I'm ready for it.