Sebaciel One-Shots and Drabbles (Open)

Why Does He Stay? (Angst)

(Based on Season 1, episode 14 Ciel's POV)

"Time to face facts. No one ever loved you."

I flinched and clenched my fist so tightly that my knuckles went white. I knew those words weren't directed at me, but... Everything else Sebastian had said, was clearly referencing me and our contract.

"Why would they stay when they get nothing in return? That's something most three year olds understand."

'He doesn't care about me,' I thought. 'He's just hungry. I know that. So... Why does it hurt so much now?'

"That's enough," I snapped, stopping my devilish butler in his tracks. Soma gave me a grateful look. I thought about explaining my actions, comforting Soma in a way, but decided to skip it. I began to walk out, Sebastian, out of habit, following me. The demon was utterly clueless as to how I felt right that moment, obviously.

Soma began to ramble about how he was a child compared to me, and how he wanted to find Agni and Mina. I coldly explained that I did not want to chaperone him, but I also said I would not go to the trouble of locking him in his room. I felt like being nice for some reason. Soma tackled me in a hug, which I really wasn't in the mood for.

Soma apologized to me for breaking the tea set, which I just acknowledged with a nod. Soma hid behind me, despite being quite a bit taller, cowering in Sebastian's glare.

"Uhh... You too... I am very sorry..," he stammered. Sebastian grinned deviously. "Oh, it's alright. I find you entertaining."

'Oh, so am I entertainment as well? Well too bad for you, because from here on out, I won't speak a single word to you, damn demon,' I thought angrily. Sebastian spoke up again.

"Master, shall we discuss West now?"

I stayed silent, but gave a curt nod.
Sebastian looked terribly confused. Serves that damned demon right.

"This case no longer involves the underworld. It's not my problem anymore," I spoke to no one in particular, as there were many people in the room. Soma, Lau, Tanaka, Myself, and of course, that cursed demon. Soma nodded in understanding. Apparently he intended to do something by himself for once.

'Don't act as if you're better than him, Ciel. You can't even tie your own shoes without Sebastian. You'd be dead without him,' My conscience snapped. And for once, that damn voice in my head was right. I was useless without-

"So, do you intend to join the curry competition, my lord?" Lau asked, Ran-Mao sluttishly draped in his lap, per usual.

"Yes," I snapped. I still intended on not speaking directly to Sebastian, so I would simply use my pawns to signal my knight.

'Knight in shining armor, that is. You do love him, after all,' and once again, the voice had been right, sadly.

"Master? Would you like me to be the chef?" Sebastian asked the question as if it needed to be asked. I harshly nodded. Sebastian, once again, seemed puzzled by my silence. He held worry in those carmine orbs...

'Yeah right. Whatever happened to "just hungry"? You're head over heels,' the voice taunted. It was right again. I was head over heels in love.

"I'm tired. I'm going to retire," I announced, speaking to no one in particular. I stood up, Sebastian quickly following behind me to my room. I stayed quiet. Sebastian softly shut the door behind us.

"Master, now that I have you alone for a moment, may I ask a question?" He asked, polite as ever.

I nodded.

"It is of course none of my business, but... Something seems to be troubling you. Pray tell what it is?" He asked.

I shook my head. Sebastian sighed. "If it is your decision not to speak with me, that is alright. But just know that I will not do the same," his voice was warm, like...

Like my father's.

My eyes widened. No. Not now. Not in front of him.

'Another anxiety attack...' My conscience sighed. I began to shiver, a familiar anxiousness filling my heart, and painfully familiar memories filling my head. 'Not here... Not now...' I pleaded with my conscience. I felt the tears flow down my face. My breathing became fast and uneven.

"Master!" Sebastian seemed caring and worried.

Like my father.

I could feel beads of sweat dripping down my face.

"Ciel! Calm down! Please!" Sebastian pleaded.

'He called us Ciel...' My conscience realized. That melted my heart, in a good way.

Suddenly, I felt something I had never before felt.

Calm.

Sebastian, a demon, had stopped my anxiety in its tracks. "Sebastian... Why do you stay?" I asked. I was dazed, but I knew what I was asking.

"Ciel, if I may call you that, I used to think I just stayed because of your divine soul but... As ashamed as I am, as a demon at least, I... I have fallen for you. I admire your strength, independence, and valiancy. You are the only human being I've ever met who makes me feel this way, as cliche as it sounds, it's true. You do not have to return my feelings. If you do not, then we shall forget this ever happened and forego the drama. But, by the unlikely chance that you do-"

I cut off my butler with a kiss.

"Of course I return your feelings, idiot," I laughed. Sebastian smiled.

After that night, I never had another anxiety attack, nightmare, or hallucination about that month.

All thanks to the demon that decided to stay.