You , Me And Sex (GirlXGirl)

Insecurity

Mia's Pov

Its being a while since we are dating now. Sneaking out , hanging out , bunking classes and of course long phone calls and constant texts. It feel like a magic. All seemed to be perfect but somewhere there was something missing. Our relation was not acknowledge among others. In the eyes of people , we are not even friends. We merely classmate. Sometime this feeling bring me down but among all this the fact that i have Nicki is the sole and most important reason that i don't feel like giving up.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the laugh of Nicki. I can always recognize that it's her. I turn around and i saw her with a bunch of friends.  It's being a while since this is going on. Sometime i envy her friends because they can openly hang out with her and i can't. I felt jealousy was taking over me. I tried ignore. I sat opposite to them. She looked at me and i caught her glance but she quickly turn back to her friends. No matter how stupid it might sound but i was jealous. I felt a sting in my heart. It was nothing serious but i felt nothing. I missed my existence in her life....the one which is known to everyone. 

Nicki's Pov

I saw Mia  entering. I got alert. I feel tensed up around her in public maybe because i do not want anyone else to be aware of what's really between us. I love her a lot but disclosing this to others is something i can not do no matter how must courage i gather to do. I looked at her and she caught me. I turn away because i would have keep looking and then get caught by everyone. A while later, she stormed out the canteen. Obviously she must be mad.

When i got free from everyone at the end of school. I muster courage to go and talk to Mia. I search everywhere but she was no where so i thought of texting her.

'Mia.. where are you baby?' I paced around waiting for her reply. I was anxious because of her mood of when i last saw her.

'I'm on the way home.'  I felt a kind of rage within me. Since we are dating, we always make it a must to get home together but she did not wait. 

'What the heck this mean! Were we not supposed to wait for each other?' I texted as quickly as i can.

' I had no mood.' No mood? Like seriously? Damn this girl drives me nut at times.

'Where the hell have you reached?' I texted trying to calm myself not to turn this into a big mess.

'I'm at the park.' Park still good enough. I can managed to get to her.

'Cool stay there. I'll meet you in 10.' I texted hurrying to get to her.

I reached there and i saw her sitting on a rock with her hand on her knee and she was staring at something not even acknowledging my presence. I know she already know i was here. I tried reaching out to hold her hand but i stopped. I called out her name and she looked at me.

'So why is your mood off?' I asked while i settled next to her and i look at her waiting to hear a justification for her actions.

'I felt low just like that...sorry.' She said while she continue to stare at the lake. And i felt as if i was not important.

'What the hell you mean just like that? Did you see the way you are behaving? What's wrong? If nothing then talk with me! Say something! You are freaking giving all other things more importance than me!' I grab her hands and force her to look at me and as i spit all the rage within me in words. Tear dwell in her eyes. I was too loud maybe. I lessen the grip of mine on her hand.

'You do the same! You give everyone your attention and time! You stayed with everyone more than me! I feel less important.' She said looking into my eyes as she stay within my hold.

'I love you. Is that not enough?' I said while i hold her firmly.

'I feel jealous. I don't like it. When i see you interacting with them. Your mine yet you are nothing to me in front all those people. They can assert their rights on you publicly and i am no one to you. What i am? The more you stay with them , the more i feel pain of not being with you. I yearn for you , for your touch, for your talks, for your glance. I can't handle you being with them constantly.' She said while she cry in my arms and i moved her from my hold and made her look at me. I felt tensed and confusion.

'But they are my friends. They were always there even before you came. They did a lot to me. I can't leave them for you. They are my friends and you are the one i love. You should understand this well.' I blurt out to her.

'But who am i then? Don't i deserve to be with you like they are being? Don't you think you are being unfair!' She snapped on me.

'You did agree to stay without being acknowledge? You had agree right?' I questioned her while she looked down without uttering any word.

'Speak up. Yes or No?' I asked again in a louder tone trying to gain her attentions and also trying to convince myself.

'Yes I did' She managed to whisper to me.

'So do you want me to leave? Don't you remember the promise you made?' I asked in a rage tone and she looked scared just when i speak up some threatening words.

'I'm sorry. I remember. Don't leave me. I won't question you. I really love you'  She said in an almost begging tone. 

Mia's Pov

I was fearing the idea of seeing her with everyone. But what fear me the most is the idea of not having her at all. I can't afford to lose her. She is my everything. I'll do all to have her near. My biggest insecurity is to breath without her.

'I love you. I won't leave you. Just don't talk about this it tensed me. Just be with me without any conditions.'  I felt her hot breath over my neck as she whisper to me while she hugged me close.

'Yes. I won't repeat this. I love you too' I whisper back and i hold her closer and more firmly.

Trust is there, love is there...but the sight of insecurity come around when jealousy is felt. But love will overcome all....Love always win.